Disordered eating or ED?

I was diagnosed with BP mixed last spring during a 10 day hospitalization, after going off the rails for about a year. I finally got help. Then, around the same time I became kinda obsessed about my weight. The mood stabilizers seemed to kill my appetite, or it was a coincidence, I'm not sure now, but either way I stopped eating.

I barely ate all summer, when I did eat it was mostly at night as a dinner. Although I rarely eat with my family anymore. (I have three kids).

Since the summer I've tried eating better/eating more but its not really working. I finally broke down and spoke to my primary doctor about the lbs Id lost and how I lost it (ie. not eating).

Now, I'm not sure if I'm still in the disordered eating stages or if its an ED. I'm still 20lbs overweight but still losing weight due to still struggling to eat and when I do eat, eat enough.

I know I need help and I'm going to finally really talk to my therapist about it. (she's tiptoed around the weightloss before but I've quickly pushed her off the topic) But, I need some support. and help.

welcome to the forum.

i think it's a very positive thing you're ready for help- and you are going to talk to your therapist about it and hopefully get some advice

i hope we can help you too. it's good that you joined

Arya, yes, I'd like to extend a big warm WELCOME to Psych Central and I too am glad that you have found this forum. You will find other members going through the same kinds of things as yourself, and you may begin to understand whats happening to you.
I've had all of the known ED's over the last 33 years, but I have to admit that I don't know the significant difference between an ''eating disorder'' or ''disordered eating''. I'm NOT medically trained at all and only have my experience to pull on. To be honest, I don't think there's much difference between the two. Usually ''eating disorders'' are divided into sub~headings, as outlined in the book known as the DSM which Dr's use to diagnose Psych conditions. Under these headings would be anorexia, bulimia, binge/purge, binge/starve and compulsive eating. It really depends on how you feel, i.e. are you very tired all of the time? Are you always cold? There's a lot more than that though hunny.
Regarding mood stabilisers, mine made me gain weight over the course of around a year, but I've managed to get the fat off. I can't live without mood stabilisers, so I'm glad I've found a way to take these meds AND stay at a reasonable weight. HUGS. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks so much for responding.

After spending some time really speaking with my therapist I realized how serious this has become for me and where I could be heading. It hasn't been easy this week getting myself to eat but I have been eating more often and it's a good start.

Ultimately, I guess it doesn't matter so much what I call it. It matters how its affecting me. Yes, I'm cold often, yes I'm always tired. and yes, I'm almsot always hungry and I'm always thinking about food.

I have to make changes.

I finally told my best friends about it too, in order to hold myself accountable and get support from them. They were very supportive and one has experience as an eating disorder counselor-which I didn't realize. The other lives in France where they have a very different view of food so between the two of them we were able to come up with an eating plan that I was comfortable with and can see working for me.

Again...I'm grateful for the support here.