i need someone to talk to my mom says im selfish

i wish that id bled more and i wish that i was 6 stone just to hurt my mom. i hate her. how the hell can she say that about me? im being selfish? im doing this to hurt everyone? they're not all dying inside!! and then she says shes done all she can to help. what by sayin stuff like that? if shes helped so much why am i gettin worse? i do hate myself and her and i hope that one day something really serious happens so she can see exactly how much shes helped. everytime she does this it makes me want to do it more and more. i hate her so much. if its so easy to stop a food addiction why is she so fat? at least i have the respect for myself not to get that grotesquely overweight. she does exactly the same as me but just doesnt throw it all up. she's exactly what im afraid of - i never want to be like her in any way and i try my very hardest to be the exact opposite. can't she see how much pain i'm in? she's supposed to be my mother yet she can't see how i'm hurting she thinks now im out of the hospital it's all fine and goes away. well it doesn and it probably never will.

Hello ((((((RES))))))
I am sorry you are so upset at this time. Is there a school counselor or minister you can talk to at this time? Perhaps you can talk to someone at school or at church without alarming your parents, also there is chat at psych central as well if youever need support. Take care and good day. Soidhonia.

i'm not at school. i live alone but i came back to my parents home after i was hospitalised a couple of days ago. since then i don't know whether i want to go home to an empty house or stay with my mother victimising. i was so hurt - i don't hate her obviously. its just at the time i was so enraged i just wrote it all down straight away to get it out. now i've calmed down that is until she comes back to have another go at me.

Next time, try turning it around, maybe it will result in a discussion, rather than a fight. Ask, "Ok, then, why are you selfish? Eating like you do is to cover up some kind of pain, just like my not eating is to protect me from my own fears. So, why are you hurting? And it's not just because you worry about me, because you were overweight before I came along. [I'm assuming this is true.] Tell me why you're suffering, too."

Hi I hope you are felling better today people that dont understand what we feel like everyday have different wasy of shutting it out I have the same thing from my husband he loves me as I am when we got married I was 10 1/2 stone & happy about the way I was then I had my boys & I started to hate my body I was fat so I lost weight I went down to 8 1/2 stone that was ok for a while then the weight went up a bit to 9st 13lb thats when I got my problem I wanted to lose a bit of weight & I just couldnt stop from there anyway if I say anything now about my weight I just get what ever are we going back there again are we & things like that they really hurt as you will know but as he has always been fine with how he looks he just cant get his head round it I hope that you get there with your mum soon

Take Care