[Scottiedog]

I'm confused. Not sure if I have a problem or not. I used to be bulimic for about 10 years but have been fine for about 12 years. Since about Christmas time I have been feeling really down about my weight and started a diet. It started out very healthy - I followed weight watchers but just online - no meetings. Anyway before long I started getting really obsessed again. I weigh myself a dozen times a day. I eat only safe foods and panic when there is a danger i can't. I think about food and weight 24/7 and feel fat and disgusting. I have lost weight and am in the healthy weight range although nearer the top end. I think things will be okay when I reach my target weight but am I kidding myself? I have also started to make every meal that bit more healthy so I now no longer eat all my days points - usually eat between 18 and 23 when you are meant to have between 29 and 36. It still seems enough but would this be classed as restricting? I started to see a counselor and have been twice. He have be relaxation exercises but every time I try them I am meant to focus on different body parts to relax but all I focus on is how big those body parts are. I texted him to say this and he has told me to stop until I see him next. Feel such a failure. I see my GP tomorrow morning as at my last appointment which was about migraines I mentioned this very briefly. He asked me to come back to discuss it further. Really nervous and don't know what to expect. What if he wants to weigh me. I am so heavy. This is so draining.

[healingme4me]

It very well could border on restrictive dieting and triggering your migraines, perhaps?

I've tossed scales before and only focused on how I fit in my clothes.

If within a healthy weight range, hard to say what's bringing about a negative self talk?

Do other things occurring in your life, affect your emotions ?

There are other means of relaxation that don't involve thinking about your body, when's your next t session?

[Scottiedog]

Hi. Thanks for the reply. I couldn't get rid of my scales - too scary. I don't know what has triggered this off. I did see my dr yesterday and he was really nice and understanding. He weight me after much persuasion and while he is happy with my weight he is concerned that I want to lose a stone. I have lost a stone recently already. He wants me to attend the ED Clinic but I can't. It would mean admitting to my partner what I'd going on and I can't do that. The counselor that I have been seeing is meant to be contacting me with my next appointment. Normally it is every week which would mean tomorrow but he had to confirm something so said it might be next week instead and he will text me. I felt quite positive after seeing the Dr yesterday. I have to have bloods taken to check for any deficiencies and he wants me to go back in a couple of weeks. Then work got stressful and I turn that back on myself and want to control my eating even more. Think the increase in migraines is definitely linked.

[Fuzzybear]

[Crazy Hitch]

I just wanted to leave you a quick note to say congratulations Scottie dog for being 10 years strong. That is honestly an accomplishment

Here's my take on things.

When Christmas time came you were triggered back into your past of worrying about calories / food you eat etc. And you haven't been in this position in 10 years.

The more you went on weightwatchers the more you may have been triggered into past behaviours with food and the cycle within itself began.

I'm all for healthy eating plans with everything in moderation. I say a big slice of chocolate cake once a week - why not?

But I think that this has now crossed over the edge into some kind of obsession for you, and this is the area in which you need help; so that you can move forward from here. As easy as it is for me to say "You've done it before", the reality of you being able to get your mindset around it can be challenging; as I too have learnt from past experience.

I do believe though that this is something that with time and the correct support; you can work your way through.

Please let us know how you go.