[softbluecries]

For the past 3 months I have been having problems with eating. I get urges for certain foods and when I eat them I feel horrible about myself. But it is now happening that I feel guilty about eating anything. Half the time I eat anything I vomit because I am afraid of gaining weight. Vomiting has gotten very hard for me to do. It is not as easy as it use to be.

I have now been begun using laxatives as a way of making me feel like my stomach is empty and that I won't gain weight when using them. When I do use them I weigh myself and can see that I have lost a little weight and it makes me feel good about myself.

I have been diagnosed being bi-polar with depression. I think I might be eating because I am depressed and it makes me feel better but after I feel horrible so what's the point of eating in the first place? Before I was put on Risperidone. I was happy with my weight. Being on the meds my weight went up quite a bit and I stopped taking it because I couldn't stand looking at myself getting fat.

Someone please help me.

[healingme4me]

((((softbluecries))))

Can your doctor refer you to a nutritionist to develop a personalized diet regimen, so that you don't feel out of control about gaining weight.

The side effects of your medicine must have been disheartening. I'm sorry that you're going through this.

[Ruftin]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central softbluecries!!! It's nice to meet you. You have joined a community of warm and caring members who will want to offer you support and advice. Yours is welcome as well.

Please feel free to contact any community liaison or moderator by left clicking on their name in blue to the left of their post if you need help navigating the forums. It will take some time for your first five posts to appear as they are being evaluated and then you will be able to join chats.

I'm sorry for your struggles. I have always been a light weight. My psychiatrist put me on a med that caused a 40 pound weight gain without increased food intake on my part and my self esteem plummeted. I asked him to change the medication and he refused so I changed him. Another psychiatrist put me on another medication, (there are so many for them to choose from) it helped my psych symptoms, I lost the unwanted weight and got my self esteem back. I recommend you find a more sensitive psychiatrist. I understand your desire to lose the weight. Can you try this option so that you're not harming yourself? You'll find we have a safe and supportive community. I'm glad you've joined us.

I look forward to seeing you around!!!

[CANDC]

Hi softbluecries. Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry you are suffering from multiple challenges. Finding another psych doc or med may help. A friend got a thyroid check and found they had underactive thyroid.

We are all here for you. A therapist is waiting somewhere to help you come to terms with your life. Or someone you can trust. It is so much to resolve.

Feel free to private message me or any of the people here (left click on the name to the left of this post and click on send private message.)

[eskielover]

I've gone through some of what you are experiencing...though I first ended up on meds that totally destroyed my eating & I lost weight like you gained which landed me in an ED treatment center & in the medical hospital on & off for several years. I was determined that I really liked the weight loss & went for the laxitives because I couldn't throw up. I have always had a horrible time throwing up & would get so bad I broke blood vessles in my eyes & all over my face.....blood red whites of my eyes was NOT something I cared to repeat.

However. laxitives aren't a safe way to loose weight....& actually it's NOT weight you are loosing with laxitives it's only fluid & that's not fat that is being burned off so in reality, you aren't loosing weight with laxitives.....the problem with them also is that your body can become dependent on them to function & after awhile depending on how bad you abuse them, they will stop your body from functioning in that way all together & major surgery will be required that will remove the intestines which get destroyed.....ICK....I'm sure that's NOT what you want in your future.

It's much better to work with your pdoc in finding a med that will truly work with your body & your bi-polar with depression condition & if you have a pdoc that refuses to work with you or at least provide you with a nurtitionist who can help you work out a healthy diet so that you won't gain the weight that the meds cause.....find another pdoc who will. Know it's not that easy....but it's better than having your health compromised.

Over weight nor underweight is healthy & we should strive for a healthy balanced life in ALL areas. Hope you can find this.

Welcome to PC.....it's really a wonderful place with wonderful supportive people.....I started coming here 10 years ago in the ED forum just at the time my mother was dying of cancer & everything hit me along with going through a trauma which even though I wasn't on meds at that time, the stress caused me to loose a massive amount of weight though I didn't get down as low as the first time....I was still medically hospitalized for it & it took me several years to recover with the PTSD issues on top of it.

There are so many issues involved with ED's & usually there is something (even meds) that are the initial trigger that starts the issue we end up having to deal with.

Wishing you the best & a very warm welcome to PC.