[LucyD]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

It would be better to weigh yourself less often. Also, the scale doesn't show your percentage of muscle vs. fat. Try measuring your waist, hips, thigh, and upper arm every two weeks. After you have been doing that for a while, you could look back at your old measurements and see your progress.

But will I lose anything in measurements since I don't exercise? I need to start exercising just haven't got the motivation yet. Thank you for that suggestion.

[LucyD]

Yesterday I did okay. I have an inspector coming to inspect my apt. on Monday and my vacuum broke. Maybe I can buy another one today. I don't know if that matters. My carpet needs cleaning really by a carpet cleaning company. Oh well. I have been organizing and putting things away so it really does not look messy here. I don't have much food to eat so I will probably go out to get some today. I hope everyone has a nice weekend!

[LucyD]

I figured out why I haven't been losing any weight. I haven't been eating enough food. When I ate more calories my weight went down several pounds.

[joshuas-mommy]

I ate cereal for breakfast and Arby's combo for lunch. I feel so full and bloated. That is the last time I eat lunch.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

I ate cereal for breakfast and Arby's combo for lunch. I feel so full and bloated. That is the last time I eat lunch.

Or would you want to have something lighter for lunch that wouldn't make you feel so full and bloated?

I bought some veggies that I like today and fruit that I like, too. I've been munching on that some.

[-Astral-]

banana for breakfast ... dont want to eat anything else today too fat to

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by -Asphyxia-

banana for breakfast ... dont want to eat anything else today too fat to

I bought a big bunch of green bananas yesterday. I have to wait awhile before I can eat them, they are not nearly ripe but I love bananas, too!!

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by LucyD

Or would you want to have something lighter for lunch that wouldn't make you feel so full and bloated?

I bought some veggies that I like today and fruit that I like, too. I've been munching on that some.

Even when I didn't have an active eating disorder, I would skip breakfast and lunch. It makes me too tired and hot.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

Even when I didn't have an active eating disorder, I would skip breakfast and lunch. It makes me too tired and hot.

Oh, I see.

[LucyD]

I bought onions, mushrooms, lots of baby carrots, broccoli, about 5 big yams, cherry tomatoes, roma tomatoes, strawberries, bananas on Friday. Yesterday I chopped up some mushrooms and an onion and a few baby carrots and stir fryed them with cooking spray in the frying pan. It is a new way for me to cook veggies. I had been boiling them. They taste better stir fried. I may also steam them as I have a steamer, too. I know they are tasty that way, too. I am eating vegan this week. Bought 3 containers of extra firm tofu, too. It is much cheaper than meat. I am enjoying the veggies and fruit.

[joshuas-mommy]

I binged yesterday. Oh, well. Today's a new day and I can start restricting again.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

I binged yesterday. Oh, well. Today's a new day and I can start restricting again.

Yes, today is a new day. I hope you have a pleasant Sunday.

[LucyD]

I think I may have had too many calories yesterday but didn't binge really. Oh well, it's another day now to start anew. I may start using my calorie book, it is just sitting on the table. Maybe 1000 calories a day will be okay. I'm not very active. But yesterday I did some gentle exercises that I found on youtube. I'm not used to exercising so I need to be easy with it to begin.

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by LucyD

I think I may have had too many calories yesterday but didn't binge really. Oh well, it's another day now to start anew. I may start using my calorie book, it is just sitting on the table. Maybe 1000 calories a day will be okay. I'm not very active. But yesterday I did some gentle exercises that I found on youtube. I'm not used to exercising so I need to be easy with it to begin.

You need to eat at least 1200 calories to maintain your basic metabolic functions.

[LucyD]

My doctor told me I can eat less calories because I am sedentary and I am older-58. And I have this link that tells about BMR: Basal Metabolic Rate - How To Calculate and Find Your BMR

Here is a little of what is at that link:
Your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) is defined as the minimum number of calories your body burns whether at rest, working out or lying down. This means that everyone has a set number of calories that they need in order to stay alive and it’s as different for you as it is for your children, friends, parents or even siblings. These calories are the absolute minimum amount of energy your body burns, and includes all involuntary (independent of your own will) activities that your body does to stay alive such as digestion, respiration, circulation, removing waste products and regulating body temperature.

Factors that affect your BMR include age, genetics, weight, heredity, body fat percentage and gender. For example, your BMR is the number of calories your body would need to spend 24 hours asleep in bed. Your BMR number will depend on many factors such as your weight, your diet and your current activity level.

The BMR includes the number of calories used for activities from breathing, maintaining your body temperature, your heart pumping, to your brain working at various levels and other functions that occur in the body while asleep. The calories you burn when awake, moving (including exercising) are not included in the BMR. Think of your BMR as the number of calories needed to stay alive if you were bedridden.

Your BMR slows down at roughly 5% every 10 years after the age of 20. This is why many people can’t understand why they gain weight as they get older, but they still have the lifestyle (or eat) the same way they did in their 20’s, 30’s and even 40’s. They need to reset their BMR to reflect the changes that are taking place in their bodies!

[buttrfli42481]

Friendly reminder that we are not supposed to use numbers in this forum. It can be very triggering to others. This includes calorie numbers.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by buttrfli42481

Friendly reminder that we are not supposed to use numbers in this forum. It can be very triggering to others. This includes calorie numbers.

I looked at the sticky thread above and it didn't say anything about calories. Is that something new? I tried to go back and edit but was unable.

[LucyD]

Feeling down today, hoping it will pass. Another hot day here. Glad to have AC. This forum seems like it's deserted. Maybe people are out enjoying the summer, something I haven't done much. Don't like being out in the heat. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

[LucyD]

Feeling better now. We had a good Tstorm and rain which we really needed. Been eating veggies and fruits and tofu and Mornigstarfarm non meat burgers this week. Don't know if I'll go back to meat next week or not at this point. I am enjoying cooking onions and carrots and tofu stir fry; boiled a sweet potato. Had that for dinner.

Took my Geodon full dose, I think that helped a lot.

I still haven't got a therapist for the eating disorder but am doing lots better with it anyway. Haven't been binging in I think a few weeks and only did that for awhile when I was off the Topomax for several days. I really do have a bad case of Binge Eating Disorder when I'm not on the Topomax but I was trying to do some other things when I didn't have the med, too. I was trying to stay out of the kitchen and not stay up late eating and take my sleeping meds on time and go to sleep on time.

I also do not buy any food to binge on. When at the store I often see the bakery items when I first go into the store and I look at them and then I avert my eyes over to the fruit which is better for me because I don't need all that sugar in bakery and I think natural sugars are better for me. I don't go in the aisles with all the cookies and cereals because those are things I used to binge out on. It really isn't hard to steer away from these things.

I will go for an ice cream at times with my dog and just get her a cone and me a dish of it at BK.

I feel like I have been given back the ability to eat like "normal" people do. The Topomax has really helped, so has not buying binge foods.

I also have done some work on my own about an abuse issue and it started as a dream and turned into an opportunity for me to use the aftermath of a dream and rid myself of some feelings of terror I had from what someone had done to me some 30 or so years ago. It was so freeing! I will write about it some other time and put a trigger warning on it.

[LucyD]

Trigger for nightmares, evil spirits/negative feelings, abuse:

Possible trigger:

There is this man from over 30 years ago who intimidated me badly and through all of his abusive actions of many kinds put a lot of terror into me that I had with me for over 30 years.

I had been checking the death registries every few years to see if he was still alive as I thought all along that he could come after me again that's how bad he was to me and how bad he was. Over all the times I searched the death registries he was not dead.

One day I ran across his daughter on Facebook and saw that she had recent pictures of him on her page. I wondered if after all these years if he had changed. Could he have? I hoped he would have for once in my life. I had some drinks one night and friend requested her on FB. She accepted and she must have remembered me because she told her father and then she requested my phone number because he wanted to talk to me. I didn't know what to do or think but he also left his phone number. So I drank some wine and got my courage to call him and found he was just as mean and ornery and intimidating as always even though he said thank you a few times which was something new. As a result of me calling him, he had my phone number and continued to call me and he told me he had Stage 4 cancer and wanted Hospice and bring it on! I told him what hospice was like because my mom went through it and tried to be nice to him hoping he would be nice to me but then he said something very intimidating to me about how someone could hurt my dog and me. The way he put it was very scary and it brought back flashbacks of what he did to me. Then I put his phone number on my special call feature that does not allow the call to go through to me. I left his phone number on there.

I continued to see him on FB with his daughter and then how he had gone into the hospice home. About 3 weeks ago on her FB page she announced he had died. That night of his death I had a horrible nightmare:

I was laying on the couch and I could see myself lying on the couch and the man's spirit entered my apartment and was trying to enter my body and my dog's, I saw it as an evil spirit trying to enter me and then it changed and I woke half way and I felt this really intense terror that was laying atop my stomach yellow ball of terror/fear that had been in me for all of these years (over 30 years). As this happened I was awake and the fear/terror left me. It is gone now. I am no longer terrified.

I have been thinking about what happened and some of the explanations sound crazier than what I just wrote. But that terror has left me and the relaxation I feel now is real.

[LucyD]

It is Friday August 12. Was really sick for all of yesterday. Must have been a 24 hour bug; I was shaking and had chills and was sick to my stomach. So I ate 2 pieces of wheat toast and went to sleep for about 24 hours except getting up to feed my pets. Not feeling totally better yet but lots better still.

I wonder where everyone has gone? You don't have to be afraid to post here whenever you feel like it.

I had a real good meal last night with sliced onion, sliced mushrooms, sliced red pepper, sliced carrots, cut up tofu and stir fried it all. Trying to eat nutritious food like veggies and fruit. Haven't had meat in a week or so. Don't know if I will go back to it or not but am enjoying the things I am eating now. I like to cook, too. I used lemon pepper spice on the stir fry and it was so good!

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by LucyD

It is Friday August 12. Was really sick for all of yesterday. Must have been a 24 hour bug; I was shaking and had chills and was sick to my stomach. So I ate 2 pieces of wheat toast and went to sleep for about 24 hours except getting up to feed my pets. Not feeling totally better yet but lots better still.

I wonder where everyone has gone? You don't have to be afraid to post here whenever you feel like it.

I had a real good meal last night with sliced onion, sliced mushrooms, sliced red pepper, sliced carrots, cut up tofu and stir fried it all. Trying to eat nutritious food like veggies and fruit. Haven't had meat in a week or so. Don't know if I will go back to it or not but am enjoying the things I am eating now. I like to cook, too. I used lemon pepper spice on the stir fry and it was so good!

You sound like you are eating healthy.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

You sound like you are eating healthy.

Yes, trying to. I cooked up a storm today. I had this cabbage I was afraid would go bad so I cooked the whole thing. I steamed part of it and stir fried part with onions and a little tofu and lemon pepper spice. Then I cooked a large sweet potato-boiled it for about 25 minutes with the skin on. I couldn't eat all I made so Suzy dog had some, too, and I had to throw some out and put some in the frig. too. I am full now. I only threw out part of the sweet potato because I don't think it tastes good reheated.

Also had quinoa today with a little butter and salt on it. It's something new(for me) that I've been having and it has lots of protein in it.

I've cut down the wine to having 1 or 2 glasses when I have it. Having more than that before was keeping me from losing weight and I am overweight.

[LucyD]

Since this is a thread for all Eating Disorders I thought I'd post some links:

Here is one for information on Anorexia Nervosa:
About Anorexia: Signs, Symptoms, Causes & Articles For Treatment Help

[LucyD]

Information on Binge Eating Disorder:

What is Binge Eating Disorder?