[lost_lonely]

I'm not sure if this qualifies for an eating disorder or not, but here it is. I have a really strange eating habit. I'll go for days, usually four or five, without eating anything, putting only water into my body. I won't eat food again until I end up passing out or vomitting. It's like a compulsion. I know I should just eat, but something in me won't let me. I think maybe, on a subconscienous level, I'm trying to punish myself because I hate myself so much.
This is hard for me to write down. I won't even look at myself in the mirror, because all I see is an ugly, fat piece of trash. At a doctor's appiontment last week, I only weighed 107. But still I feel fat, and I actually feel better when I let myself go hungry, like I'm getting what I deserve.
Does this sound familiar to anyone? I have no idea what's wrong with me.

[gloria]

not eating to punish you? Now, you tell me what would you think if somebody you care for told you he didn't eat to punish himself?
Does it sound healthy to you?

Get help! I don't know how tall you are but 107 is not a lot ... And is not so much how much you weight, but if you spend days without eating, it will affect your health one of this days ...

Why don't you take the quiz included in this website?

gab

[shakes]

This definately sounds like an eating disorder. It is apparent that you have very low self esteem hun and it pains me to see you write things like that about your self when it is not true. 107 pounds is not overweight unless you are like three feet tall! Believe me I know that that statement does not mean much because it is about how you feel. That is the horrible thing about eating disorders they distort your mind despite what is true.
Have you talked to anyone about this? I really think you should talk to a doctor or a therapist before this problem gets any worse. I know it may sound difficult but trying to fight an eating disorder can be very difficult and almost impossible to do on your own. Believe me I did it and it was hell. Just remember this community is here for you.

Stay strong,
Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>

[inkblot]

What you say sounds familiar to me. I think it's possible that you might have an eating disorder. What has your doctor said? Are you in counseling? You mentioned a doctor appointment, but you didn't say what the appointment was for. I'd like to welcome you here, and hope you come back often. This is a great site with lots of friendship and support!