Recent Eating Troubles...again...not sure what it is

So over my HS years I had some eating issues. I would go as long as i could w/o eating durring the day and then eat at night. This meant waking up at 6, having an apple durring the day, a salad for dinner, then sneaking back down stairs at night and eating everything in sight. I guess that would be a binge? Then I had pancreatitis and lost 30lbs. I couldn't eat more than 4g of fat per meal for 6 mts. So once I could get back to eating "normally" again, I stopped having breakfast and that mid day apple and only had a salad at night and then my late night binge.

At college I had 2 room mates. And we were all dancers and were very weight conscious, but healthy. So we always ate together and had healthy meals 3 times a day. This really helped to break my cycle. i love them

Last summer I was really stressed out bc I had 2 jobs and was trying to do research on my senior thesis. And I went back to no breakfast, and apple and a salad and eating at night. But this time I would only binge on fruit or veggies. I never bought junk food and I didn't want it. Then "the incident" happend...

The day after the incident, I was eating my fruit at lunch and it just looked gross all of a sudden and I felt like I had to get rid of it. and I purged. It was the 1st time. After that I purged twice a week for a month. Then I went home for a month and didn't purge at all.

Once I came back to school I only purged once. and that was when I saw him for the 1st time this semester. I went back to my "diet" from HS and when I'm eating i hate the food. It just seems gross and I want to purge, but I don't. After that I hadn't purged at all for a month...untill last night. Last night I was just really stressed out about some stuff that happened durring the day and I purged, at my house, with my housemate in the next room! It was so embarassing, but I felt so good and sucessful at the same time. I know that sounds terrible

But since last night I want to purge everything that goes into my mouth. I have my T on Thursday. I want to stop purging bc it hurts and I know it's bad, but at the same time I'm afraid to tell her what going on. I'm afraid of what she'll say or do. So I guess I just was wondering if this is an ED or if any of you have had to deal with something like that or do you have any advice for how to tell your T about eating stuff?

It really does seem to be an ED of some sort. Especially with your absolute loathing of food, the purging...binge-purge anorexia perhaps? but don't quote me of course. your T will be ten thousand times more reliable...I really think you should tell your T because this sort of thing can spin out of control quickly. Especially since it started years ago, now you can be gradually getting worse but it won't seem "worse" to you because you're more accustomed to it.

And yes, I have gone through this exact same thing actually. I started out eating breakfast, skipping lunch at school (i'm a senior in HS) fruit/veggies after school and then i'd get home from work at 11 or so and binge on whatever I could get. My solution was probably poorly chosen...I decided to go vegan (for moral reasons as well) but that's helped me a lot to curb my binges.