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#1
Jul 27, 2004, 08:59 PM
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I just could not eat today either than a few crackers. I knew that if I ate, I would just end up throwing up forever. My stomach is way to sore right now from all the purging and laxatives. I just took a hand full more. Its really so stupid but I can't stop. I am really thinking about going to my doctor and kicking, screaming, yelling and begging for help. I just have to be honest or I am going to die and I am worried about my behaviors. I am depressed and I think about death but what will it solve if I end my life? I am so confused. One minute I want to leave this world then the next I want to fight so hard to keep my head above water. Its like the two guys sitting on your shoulder. One tells you to fight for your life and the other says "whats the point". I will ponder this for the time being and try to convince myself to just go and see my doctor. I dont know how they could possibly help a screwed up freak like me. I will try.
Elizabeth
__________________
"Through the rain lives a rainbow...you just need to find it." |
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#2
Jul 28, 2004, 02:43 PM
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Elizabeth,
You know I care about you and I know that others in this form also care. Please go see a doctor, if not for yourself but for all the others that care about you. I am here for you  ((((((((((((((((((((((((Elizabeth)))))))))))))))))))))) |
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#3
Jul 28, 2004, 03:02 PM
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Thank you Leslie. I did alot of thinking while I should have been sleeping. I thought about what everyone has said to me here and I am working up my courage to go see my dr. I need help and I want to get better. I watched my kids sleep for a while last night and I cried for an hour after. I love them dearly. Thing is I don't love myself, that's where I am having trouble getting my butt in gear and getting some help. I am going to try to get my courage to go this week, I will really try, even if I drive there 10 times without going in.
Thank you all!!!!!!!! Ellizabeth
__________________
"Through the rain lives a rainbow...you just need to find it." |
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#4
Jul 28, 2004, 03:30 PM
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I hope you gather the strength to go see a doctor. It sounds like you are getting to the point where you could get really sick. Maybe building a trusting relationship with a therapist will help you. Is there an ED clinic near you? I finally agreed to partial hosp treatment, mostly because I want to see and talk to other people like me. I think that might be the only thing that will help, because nobody seems to understand how I feel. Keep us all posted on how you are doing.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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