[LivinWithED]

I'm sick of being sick.... I just want out of this never ending cycle. Does anyone else feel almost psycho because of the thoughts that absorb your every moment. Maybe it's just me but i want out of this. I want to live a normal life. Sorry, i'm just ranting....

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[JenKat]

I know how you feel. I want out too. I find myself falling back into my anorexic behaviors again, and its taking over my mind. I can't concentrate on anything anymore; my notebooks from school aren't filled with notes anymore, just grocery lists and meal plans and addition problems where I add all the cals I've eaten so far that day. When it comes time to study for finals in a few weeks, I have nothing to study but my rambling disordered thoughts. In fact, thats why I can't get to sleep tonight and why I've had four sleepless nights this week- I can't get the obsessions and anxiety out of my head. I'm so tired, physically and mentally. I just need a break so I can get some rest.
Sorry, obviously I'm just continuing your rant and providing absolutely no constructive advice or help for you. This post just hit a sore spot for me as well. I feel your pain...

[DePressMe]

Hi LivinWtihED!

Hi JenKat!

Well, you 2 are definitely not alone. I struggle too. I was on a very well planned out, healthy diet for just short of 2 years. I got to a good body weight and was feeling really great about it. The last few weeks I have fallen back into some old eating patterns and it is beginning to effect how I feel about myself. It seems my eating behaviors effect how I think about me.

I understand the frustration of this always being a part of your life...I was beginning to think I had it kicked...but, it seems to be creeping back into my life.

I can only do my best.

[lil_bit]

Yeah you are so not alone in hating the seemingly endless cycle. I was 100% sure I had it beat at one point. I even remember thinking "why would I have ever done that? thought that?" and then I fell back down again. It happens...we rise and fall. but still it can be beaten.

[Raindrizzle]

There is always a way out. ALWAYS. An eating disorder and guilt play hand in hand. Guilt is the fuel that drives the eating disorder vehicle. You always have OPTIONS. In every choice, decision, act, question. In every single thing. Look at all sides of the spectrum and do a cost/benefit analysis of what the worth would be to act or not act upon something. When you become passionate about recovery, is the time to face it head on. Apply things in your life that you love. And soon....you'll love your life. Recovery is not perfect, you do not strive for a clean slate, you simply strive for progression.

Rain