[Deilla]

I did okay today. But there's still the evening.

[Mountaindewed]

I had 3 regular size sodas, a few sips of a can of a regular soda, a zero sugar one and about half of a zero sugar one. I drink a lot of soda but I'm not normally that bad. I did eat today and what I ate was healthy but I was kinda leaning towards restricting today because of all the soda. Basically I was just craving soda instead of food. I did drink water though. Which I was told meant nothing when it comes to having an ED.

[Fuzzybear]

I've decided I'm too ''fat'' ...

Although my body weight is ''normal''...

meh..

When I was on that ****... my body weight was Obese.

[Anrea]

Still struggling with BED. I think about food constantly. Still responding to my binges with purging. I've convinced myself that I will stop B/P when I hit my goal weight because then I can eat my TDEE. Now, I am on a calorie restricting diet. But I'm getting closer. Hopefully by the end of May. I am pleased about one thing, I've changed the way I eat and I think it's a llife long change. If it isn't nutritious, there's no point. It works mostly, but then sometimes I get cravings for junk. I'm still figuring out how to handle that.

[Mountaindewed]

My therapist is starting to notice things I think. She was kinda odd today towards the end of the session. I was wearing a t shirt instead of my normal hoodie and she had not seen me in 2 weeks and there was a legit difference in the last 2 weeks. I got taco bell for lunch since I felt like it was decently healthy. I just got a bean burrito and nacho fries without the nacho sauce. At this point I could stop and be completely ok. But I still want to get down some more.

I need to say this, because I'm kind of mad

a new takeout place has opened in my area and someone contacted me recently with the comment, oh, you should try it. it's a lot better than mcdonalds.. I think you'll really enjoy it!.

even though i'm going to still have mcdonalds (mcdonalds on a friday is an age old tradition!), it really makes me anxious that someone is even considering making me change that- even if it is just for one week.

[Anrea]

I've slipped back into the binge/purge cycle. About every 4 days I slip. It's been through half of March, but I'm scared. I don't want to do this again. I justify it by saying,"Well, when I get to my goal weight, and can eat my TDEE, I won't be binging." But I have heard other people had previous similar attitudes and failed.

[Deilla]

I have been doing well lately.

[Mountaindewed]

I restricted today but not on purpose. I have barely eaten today but I can't even feel hunger right now. I drank a lot of water. I woke up craving water and I chugged 2 bottles. I'm not sure thats really good though to be thirsty but not hungry. Man is this transition kicking my *** again and its barely been 4 days.

eating crap

but I am eating crap because my regular food isn't filling me up- which in turn is crap cooking, so i'm not surprised.

mcdonalds today though. should fill me up.

[Mountaindewed]

I ate a bagel and got sick. I ate 5 honey breaded chicken tenders and felt sick. The unsweetened iced tea I drank really did me in. The regular pepsi was fine. The regular mountain dew didnt make things better or worse. I'm going to have a slim fast for dinner only because the idea of actually eating anything else today seems unbearable.

[Anrea]

I B/P 11 times in March! After going 32 days, and 26 days without in Jan. and Feb. But I didn't do anything to try to stop. I didn't read tips and tricks to stop, I didn't watch videos, I didn't prepare for my triggers, and I didn't try to 'ride the wave'. I screwed April up by B/P on the 1st. But that isn't stopping me from getting back on track. I am surprised I did so badly in March, but I was restricting a lot, and used my Birthday week to buy 2 cakes, and some lemon bars.


I will do better going forward.

[Mountaindewed]

Its been tough lately but I've been managing. Breakfast was ok. I had a corn talmale. Dinner will be steak and broccoli. In between I've had a couple Cokes and a Slim Fast. So theres not too much restricting going on today I don't think.

[Mountaindewed]

I started back with the Goldfish crackers again. And now tuna is grossing me out again too. I did eat 2 donut holes today. I've been drinking a lot of sodas and slim fast lately. Mostly thats all I've really wanted lately. Soda and slim fasts and other protein shake. It hasn't been restricting eating as much as just not very nutrituous eating and not craving food. My therapist wants me to eat fruit but I find fruit to be creepy. The only vegetable I'll eat is broccoli. She harps on me about vegetables. Sometimes I just don't want to eat. Its not that I'm not hungry or that I'm restricting its that I just don't feel like eating sometimes. I have not seen her in person in 2 weeks and it will be shorts and T shirt weather and I'm not sure how happy she'll be with me. I have also been anxious as hell though this past week so I have not really felt like eating a lot.

[Mountaindewed]

I honestly just don't really like food anymore. The only thing I really enjoy is non diet soda mainly different flavors of Coke and Pepsi and thats not food.

[Mountaindewed]

My anxiety turned to stomach pain caused me not to be able to eat much today. It was an unusually low amount of food since I always try to make up for the lack of legit food by eating some saltine crackers. But even that was too much today.

[Mountaindewed]

I hate eating in front of people and I know I'm being rude but I don't want to eat easter dinner with my family I'd rather eat a couple pieces of ham in my room and honestly I'm so done with everything at this point I don't care if I'm being rude.

not doing well at all.
food wise, it's just getting worse

Possible trigger:

yesterday I filled up on candy (I mean overfilled), and threw up on the floor

for the first time mcdonalds didn't fill me up- and I know how bad that is. I can't cook, takeout's not filling me, what do I do

food and sleep are my biggist issues

the 2 things in life I really wish I just didn't have to deal with

[Mountaindewed]

I've been doing better. I'm not really restricting. I've been hungry but I'm eating enough so at this point I'm just hungry for no reason. But I have been controlling my hunger. I could do with eating less in the morning and more at night though to balance things out better. I am going out of town Tuesday morning until Thursday afternoon. We're going out to dinner both Tuesday and Wednesday night. I haven't been panicking. I've looked at the menu of one place and decided on something and the other place I'm familiar with. I'll just get coleslaw or something instead of fries and only eat half of my meal for both nights and save the other half for some other days. Maybe for lunch Friday and Saturday. I'm not quite sure what to do during the day for food. I do want to get a sandwhich from this fast food place I haven't had in about 3 years. That will be done on Thursday on my way home though. So no clue on Tuesday or Wednesday during the day for food but I'll figure it out.

[Mountaindewed]

I'm not restricting today. I'm eating normally and healthy. My mind feels like I'm restricting though. I'll just have an extra piece of baked chicken and hope that settles things because I am ravenous right now.

I'm so hungry I could eat an elephant- and that's with all the candy I've been having too

food is still an issue and I reccon as long as I'm alive it will be.

[Mountaindewed]

I haven't taken my new med in a couple days and I havent had an issue with pain or with controlling my hunger. I am borderlining restricting if I'm being honest. I only had a few bites of my pancakes this morning but I had a big slushy from Dairy Queen for lunch and I didn't make a fuss about the scoop of ice cream they put in it. I plan on having a slider for dinner. Part of it is on purpose the other part is just not having much of an appetite.

[Deilla]

I didn't do well for a while. I ate all kinds of snacks. I'm straightened up some now.

[Mountaindewed]

My appetite is still managable most days and low other days. I don't think I'm restricting really. I chose almonds and water as a snack today and the lab lady commented on how healthy a snack it was. I really wanted a Mountain Dew but I already had one today.