How do you gain insight into how “bad” it really is?

I’m not convinced my ED is that bad even though I was just at a psych ward with them wanting to transfer me to a food clinic. I’m dealing with gallbladder stuff, of course I don’t want to eat.

Are they right or am I and how do I figure that out?

Sucks to say, you can't trust yourself to be "right" in evaluating how bad your ED is vs. gallbladder stuff. If you have an ED on your charts and you're not eating, well, of course, the psych IP is going to want to transfer you to an ED program for liability reasons alone.

BUT on the other hand, maybe your ED IS really that bad and the gallbladder stuff is a way for you to self-justify not eating. Are you losing weight? Is your weight in a healthy range or getting to a danger/tipping point?

With EDs, I'd say it's better to rely on what people who know you well think. For me, now, being married, I've got a husband and nearly full-grown daughter, if they start up with the ED stuff, I'd think they were telling the truth. The one time my husband did say something to me was, in retrospect looking back at past pictures that would flash up on my phone and now I'll look at them and be like, yeah, he was right. But his saying something about it was enough for me to promise him I'd focus more on weight lifting instead of cardio and drink those whey protein shakes to gain muscle. And I did put on a lot of muscle mass and lifted weights until my local gym ended up closing.

But in the end, you're the one who has to decide you want to change ED behavoir and get out of that cycle. Until that happens, it's hard to admit things are as bad as they are.

I am losing weight, but I'm still in a healthy range. My IP doc tried telling me I was underweight (like I haven't memorized how many lbs is what BMI and what the cut off for a normal BMI is for my height!) but later told me she looked it up and I was right, I am still technically a healthy weight.

I really don't see not eating as ED behavior right now though. I see it as "I don't want to have such excruciating pain I'd rather die because I ate something I shouldn't have." I also see it as "the foods I have available to me are very limited because I have to have my fridge unplugged or I'm going to go on a homicidal rampage." (I did send in a maintenance request to check it out, no I haven't heard back yet)

I'm not counting calories and freaking out if I go over a certain amount. I'm not weighing myself daily or over-exercising. I just don't want to be crying for three hours wishing for death because I ate something with cream in it and my stomach is revolting.

Have you asked your GI if he can prescribe Zofran? That helps me a lot with nausea. The pantoprazole didn't really help me with nausea or acid reflux, neither did famotidine. Prescription Prilosec helped with acid reflux but not nausea. I finally did get Zofran but from my gyno telling him my hormones & cycle make me nauseous (which it does worse than normal) but that is the one thing that really helped with my nausea. Though maybe it plus the Prilosec helped, I'm not sure. Still, when my cycle gets to me, only the Zofran helps.
But of course, I don't have gallbladder issues (at least I don't think so).
I did have a perforated ulcer and still have a hiatal hernia. I think the hiatal hernia is getting worse though because sometimes I have trouble swallowing and

I see my GI next week again and I know he is going to want a colonoscopy (due to my age, not any problems I'm having) but maybe an endoscopy too because of the hiatal hernia.

I do have Zofran (took some last night in fact!). Actually they started it for the nausea part of migraines a while ago. I don’t really get nauseous after eating (although sometimes the sharp pain hurts bad enough to cause nausea and vomiting)

But yeah, have zofran PRN for nausea (generally just from migraines and when the pain is severe because I ate something I shouldn’t have), sufralcrate before meals and bedtime, and pantoprazole 2x a day now.

I use Zofran with migraines too. It is good stuff. Potent, too - used as an adjunct to chemo.

Honestly probably at the point I could use a potassium supplement but eh

I cook dried apricots and raisins for a long time, discard them and drink the resultant brown liquid. It is super tasty and it is not food, just a lightweight pleasant drink. The potassium ends up in the liquid. I wish I could make it for you.

Do you just boil or simmer them for a while or what exactly? I can get dried apricots and raisins.

Initially I simmered them for hours. Then I switched to cooking them in a CrockPot which doesn't require that you be home to attend to a pot on the stove. Either way, make sure to discard all the dried fruit as it is useless and too mushy to be pleasing.

Try the liquid both chilled and warm to see what you like better

I also put prunes and whatever dried berries I have on hand.

Too many raisins make the liquid too strong. Better use more apricots.

Let me know how it goes!