I have read some of the recent posts.. and realized that my posting here... might very well be leading others to not post in this forum.. and I am so very sorry...truely...

sugar binging is unfortunately.. what I do...

In this forum... I have tried so many times to rally... together.. support.. and.. it is hard.. ED's are hard.. the shame.. the anger at one's self..

I just got done talking to my best friend - she has returned after months in another state... and I just do not want to see her.. yes.. terrible.. a person I love.. yet she drains every oz of energy from me... and I can't afford this.. at this point...

I explained.. ED's to her.. and she doesn't understand...and.. thru her non-understanding.. she hurts me...she wants me to be "normal".. and I am not...

We have been friends for 27 years... and I think to myself.. and what am I worth to you?? my friend??? I am deathly sick right now.. you know it... and yet... you don't help.. I tell you how you could help.. you are a smart talented.. analyst... and retired.. 60 years old.. and you could help... yet.. you don't... so.. my life.. is not "worth" your time and your energy... wow.. I feel so loved...
I would understand.. if I had not spelled out.. what I need.. and the steps to get there.. in my healing... basics.. food in the house.. help finding someone I could pay to cook and package it... and yet.. you my talented friend.. would rather lose me.. to death from ED..

I can say that because a few months ago.. I lost my friend of 20 some years to an ED.. she was 60... and though sick myself.. I moved heaven and earth to get help... to find support.. to force.. yes force her hsuband and adult children to help her.. yet.. it was not enough.. her life was worth everything to me...and she lost her battle....

My life apparently.. is not worth that to my own friend... not worth phone calls.. to help find me.. someone I can pay to cook.. wow.. and she did that for a living... double wow...

I have made the decision to not post in this forum again.. I want people.. that need to be... here... to be able to post... to not see my stuff and be so triggered.. that they are not able to get the support they need..

Bless all of you... and I will be thinking of you all... if you want to keep in touch - just send me a PM...

((((hugs for all))))

[ThePainNeverDies]

Hey, you've helped me quite a lot already... Why shouldn't I help you? I'd gladly help you, if I know where abouts you live, then I could try and do the neccessary things to get you the help you're so desperately asking for, because your life means something to me ok?

I want to help, so, please... Let me help... Just tell me what you need me to do and I will try...

One thing... Why is it that you can't cook the food yourself? Or that you can't go out and uy ready-made food?

xxKirstenxx

[wishfulmuscle]

I dont think you've harmed anyone by posting.. and i dont think that discontinuing to post will help anyone either.. we're all here for the same reason, for support. we want to be here for you as much as you have been for us.

im so sorry that ED has caused this calamity to such a long friendship. Use it as fuel friend, to fight back against this evil disease.

hope to hear from you soon and if you need anything please pm me

[Christina86]

((((((((((((freewill))))))))))))))

You know I deeply care about you, right?

I want to see you continue posting... your posting isn't negatively impacting other peoples posting, as far as I can see.

I'm sorry your friend isn't trying to help you... she's probably scared, or maybe caught up in her own problems so she can't help anyone else. It doesn't mean that you're not worthwhile, and it doesn't mean you don't deserve help - because you do.

Is there *anyone* else that you know that might be willing to help you at this point? To do all the things you've mentioned?

I haven't heard any complaints about you triggering anyone my friend... if you're ever worried about it - you can always put "trigger" in your subject title... but unless it really is triggering, you shouldn't need to use the trigger icon.

This forum is for everyone, with whatever struggles they're having with food and diet... you shouldn't feel you can't post here. I hope you continue to do so!

((((((((((((((((((((((( freewill ))))))))))))))))))))))))

Don't go. You are important. Keep posting.

I SO know the feeling of wanting someone to cook my meals for me. I was recently at an environmental education camp for 3 days with my boys and all of the meals were served in a cafeteria. Everyone ate the same amount of the same thing, and we were really hungry at meal times because we were so active. It sort of "reset" me for a little while - someone was providing me the tools to eat like a normal person - I just had to show up and do it.

(((((((((((((((((((((( freewill )))))))))))))))))))) please don't go. If people find something triggering, they don't have to read it.

thanks everyone...

well I am so so sick...

had a grease fire... from cooking...

then today I fell asleep.. while boiling chicken... what a mess...

my fibrom.. pain... it is difficult to stand...walk...

and anxiety.. and fibrom pain keeps me out of stores...

I have DID... so my "little" alters try to cook... and then... disaster...
they are hungry... and want to eat...

and ready made... has things my body won't "digest" because of damage from the ED... it makes me deathly sick.. so..

I can eat peanut butter without sugar.. with whole grain bread.. that is the good news...

[Christina86]

((((((((freewill & alters))))))))))

That is rough. I'm sorry. There's no way you could qualify for some sort of assistance through a hospital or something to have someone help out at home for you, is there?