a whole gigantomungous building crammed with foods of all sorts... how come i don't know what to buy?

i stand there. i get very anxious. i can't understand what to get. My mind goes blank. i tried taking a list but when i pick the foods up in my hand my stomach rolls over and i have to put them back. Eventually i get so anxious i come home with a bunch of random things. Ranch dressing, tuna and a bag of grapes?

*sigh

[Christina86]

(((((((Fluff)))))))))))

I don't know how to shop either... I've had to write myself notes... but then I come home with the same stuff, *every* time.

Is there a grocery store in your area, where you can order food online, and they deliver it? I've heard that is possible at some places... really useful if going to a grocery store stresses you out.

Yeah, this is what I can't get T to understand. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EAT. It's impossible to explain....but wow, do I get what you're saying.

I've been thinking about going to a nutritionist who specializes in ED to get some sort of food plan. I don't want to have to think about what I should eat. I really just want someone to hold my hand and show me.

(((((((((((((((fluff))))))))))))))))

[Labyssum]

I get overwhelmed too. Gah. Just too.much.food.

[DePressMe]

I am the opposite. My indecision makes me want to buy EVERYTHING just in case I might want/need it. Then the food goes bad before I can possibly eat all of it. I have to take a list and stick to it. To decrease my anxiety in the store, I always shop late on Thursday night when nobody is around to watch me. I hate it when people watch me in the grocery store.

i cant stand too long... which adds to the anxiety... its like a timer : buy your food in under 30 minutes or suffer unbearable pain! BBBBBZZZZZZTTTT

i have had food turn to liquid - untouched and unopened. i can't afford that. If i buy something i dont "feel" good about.. then its a total waster... then again, i buy all sorts of well-intended veggies (hence the liquified salad greens)

ive been trying so hard... buying little snack foods so i dont get freaked out by a whole meal... i have to eat reduced carbs due to sugar problems so i bought toasted almonds and i eat maybe 4 of them... i buy strawberries and grapes... i buy strawberry soy milk... and i do always get tomato and cucumber - thats something, right?

i learned a new trick too.... i made a crustless quiche and immediately got upset at the thought of a plate of food... so i put it in the fridge and i just pick at it. It's good cold too.

maybe i'd do a lot better by noshing on small things here and there... ?

then again.... by late in the day i started thinking about all the little bits of food i'd had during the day... and... well.. you know what happened next. *sigh

wow... I thought I was the only one... I go in the store.. and there are all these choices... just rows... and rows... of choices... and i want to run... run out of the store...
I've tried making lists too...

I end up.. if I can making one thing... and then I eat at it... for so long... blahhhhhhhhhhhhh... you know.....

so I go back to sugarless peanut butter.. with whole grain bread.... seems like... I can.. section it.... and it doesn't bother me so much....

i have been getting by just going to the store more often... which of course increases the anxiety... what i do is buy just a couple of foods i can eat with little preparation... then a day or two later i go again... it prevents binges better maybe too

what is weird is i LOVE to cook... for other people.. stupid eh? im having friends over tomorrow and so i can take the recipe out and buy what i need. i like making people happy with food. For myself though i come up with a lot of reasons not to cook.. and small quantity recipes are harder. i could make a whole recipe and freeze it... but that is a lot of extra complication - eating is already complicated. Plus, i will do almost anything to avoid over eating... extra food in the house means extra eating

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
MzJelloFluff said:
i like making people happy with food.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

This is a really interesting statement, fluff.

I recently saw a recipe that looked SO good and I wanted to eat it and I realized....I could buy the ingredients and MAKE THAT FOR MYSELF. Just the thought of it made me cry...that I could possibly do that just for me, show myself that caring.

You deserve to be happy. I wonder if you could take care of a part of you...make that part of you happy.....by cooking something special??

not at this point.. no Maybe someday.. i want to believe that is possible so i don't give up... but i've had a set back and i feel pretty hopeless. If i cook for myself i will throw up. No doubt in my mind. Tomorrow i am cooking for friends at their house... so i will eat something.. whether i get to keep it will depend on if i have the opportunity afterwards,

i read someplace once that it is not uncommon for ED peoples to enjoy making food for others... like a displaced need... needing food and comfort but giving it to someone else. i dont know. maybe i amjust crazy.

i feel really sad and hopeless today

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
MzJelloFluff said:

i feel really sad and hopeless today

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

awww, (((((((((((((((((( fluff ))))))))))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry you're feeling down.

For the record, I never did make that dish for myself. I made it for a friend and ate some when she was eating it. I completely understand where you're coming from.

Sending lots of

[BalishBun]

maybe have someone go with you? at least someone who understands what your going through.

no one even knows, much less understand.. nope, not a soul. i seem to be having trouble with my T even on that issue. He is very kind if i talk about it.. but he never mentions it and well.. we have an issue about dealing with it i think.

my parents came to visit and bought a bunch of food and i feel this huge panic bc there is so much food around... i feel under seige in a way... think it's the same at a grocery store

on my own, my basic things i buy are: almonds, soy milk, cottage cheese, tomato and cucumber... oh, and some melon sometimes. If i feel like it's a big day i will get some chili lime chicken wings and make 4 or 5. Woohoo. At least i am trying to keep what i do buy in the healthy range i guess

[Behindthemoon]

lol i m sure i have had that kind of moments but i m glad i have my mum as my counselor and i go to her everytime before i go to a grocery or supermaket.

[mein_engel]

I understand completely. If I didn't have to feed my daughter, I do't think I would ever go into one. Seriously. I hate them soooooooo much. They frighten me to the point where I can't even think straight when I get in there.

((((((((((fluff)))))))))

Hang in there, take care of you.

i watch my parents eat and it is insane to me. THREE meals a day.. and my 110lb mother eats like 10x what i would even consider on a REALLY good day. i feel like the incredible hulk next to her.. she is so tiny.

we had to go to the store today and i was so very stressed about it.

hate it hate it hate it

[wishfulmuscle]

aw i hear you about your mother.. my mom is the same exact way!

[luckyyouxx]

eee try working in one!! I work at Superstore as a cashier...so I see all the foods that people buy in a day. I find myself checking the back of the boxes for calories when something looks good.

And my mother eats way less than I do and shes about 10lbs smaller than me too, I swear I never see her eat, maybe once a day...say a banana. I'd much rather see myself go through this eating issue than her though. I hate that eating disorders can be passed down... I dont even know if she has one but I'm pretty sure... im bulimic though, i think shes annorexic. do you think your mothers have problems too?

[wishfulmuscle]

my mother confessed to me that as a high school/college runner, she and her sisters had their battles with food. So yes, watching my mother restrict to avoid her bulimic ways has had its toll on me.

i hate it.