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#1
Oct 07, 2008, 03:39 PM
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When... you take a bag of sugar.. and eat it directly from the bag.. and you eat.. and you eat.. and you eat... and then... you purge...and.. you can't talk.. because your throat.. is so scratched up...and there is sugar.. all over your clothes.. all over your floor... and it is disgusting....
The.. "beauty" of an eating disorder..... Ashamed... Shamed.. Humliated... what more... can I be??? well my kidneys hurt like hell... that is for sure... I took so many valium last night.. and still... no sleep... valium.. ambien.. and trazadone... Only "I"... can... take responsibility for my ED... yet.. on the other hand.. I feel "helpless"... "out of control"... "unloved"... "scared"... because.. yes I will die.. if I don't control.. this..my.. old body.. is going to say.. "enough"... and then what??? Where do I turn??? How do I fix "me"???? How.. do I "fix" each of the alters.. that are also "me"???? My heart is beating erractically today... my fault... so have no sypthamy.. Shaking my head... because... I don't understand how to "fix" me.... and I fix one of my alters.... and others "pop" up.. with an ED.... what a picture... me.. a bag of sugar... a spoon.... and.. hung over a toliet... THAT.. is what an eating disorder does to you... brings you to the lowest.. of the very low... |
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#2
Oct 07, 2008, 03:41 PM
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((freewill))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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#3
Oct 07, 2008, 03:50 PM
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((((((((((freewill)))))))))))))
I know its hard....... Keep trying. You can do it. ktgirl |
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#4
Oct 07, 2008, 04:37 PM
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(((((((((( freewill ))))))))))
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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