[alliecat]

I haven't been going strong with my recovery effort for one month. I have only skipped a couple meals and only threw up once. I feel good yet now that the weight is coming back on I'm scared of when I hit the point where I can't handle it. Everytime I get hungry or eat I have the ED thoughts but I overcome them simply cause I want to dissappoint my boyfriend. I never had an urge to recover until he expressed his concern for me. I don't want to relapse but I feel it coming on with every pound I gain.

hugssssssss Alliecat. Maybe you can devise a relaps plan, one that involves telling someone, deciding that you will get back on the wagon, and knowing that you will still overcome this ..even if you have a relapse. Maybe knowing what you will do when it happens and that you can still get back up and move forward will take some of the fear away.

Best wishes

[Genevieve]

You know what? That's oh so common! To make matters worse, if your nutritional counselor hasn't told you this already, the refeeding process doesn't put weight on you all over -- it all hits in the belly at first, and takes a few months to redistribute. (That's another reason it's good to have nutritional counseling as well as a doctor and a therapist as part of your treatment.)

I'm with you 150% -- except for the fear part. I'm at the point in refeeding where I can't stand to live in my body, it's too disgusting. I WANT to relapse -- but have not done so.

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to know that you're not alone. This is part of recovering from an ED. Check out support groups in your area, because that will really help you. Even if you don't think you need the support, just hearing your own feelings come out of someone else's mouth will help.

Be well.

[alliecat]

I always gain weight in my stomach too. I am going to plan a new work out routine to start in Feb.. I will stick to what the dr and dietician plan and not my own. Otherwise I'll work out till my legs fall off.