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mrskid · Sep 12, 2012, 12:30 PM

I feel lost been going through a bad patch. Been restricting a lot the last couple of months. Been weighing my self a minimum of 4 time a day some times more. Just don't know how to stop. To scared to ask for help. Don't want love ones to worrie about me.

Victoria'smom · Sep 12, 2012, 06:39 PM

Can you find a trustworthy non-family member to talk to? If you can go to a therapist you don't need to trust them right away. You can talk about other things until you are comfortable.

mrskid · Sep 13, 2012, 12:31 AM

No I have no one that I trust enough or that would under stand what i am going though. I feel I should be stronger, why am I letting ED control my life. I am just not ready to tell any one around me even though I think my husband and some of my co-workers suspect something but don't say any thing because they keep giving me food.

mrskid · Sep 14, 2012, 10:54 AM

never been actually diagnosed with an eating disorder but its 11:17am and I am sitting here at the computer wondering if I should try to eat some thing or should wait till just before I go to work at 2pm usually my husband is here and i always eat in front or around him or he start to worrie about me but he had to go into work early today. So now I am thinking to my self what should i eat crackers or small sandwich and then when I am at work for 8 hours I don't eat any thing. I just don't know. My stupid scale is not working think the battery died in it can't stand not knowing what i weigh and it has been 3 day since I weighed my self last

. I am so going to store and getting a new battery. I can't look into the mirror because I know what I see is not right all I see is fat fat and more fat. Sorry I am rambling today. Just tired off hiding my feelings around family and friends

Victoria'smom · Sep 14, 2012, 09:15 PM

Can you put a bunch of snacks into small baggies, then put them near spots where you normally are? Near the computer, on the dresser, out in the kitchen, and in your car places like that.

Some good snacks for around the house are grapes, carrots, crackers & bananas.
For the car breakfast bars, & granola bars.

mrskid · 12:48 PM

Thank you for the advice I will try that

Think I will try to bring a small bag of mix nuts to work tonight

mrskid · Sep 18, 2012, 06:24 PM

Told husband today about my fears of eating disorder did not talk much about it which i was glad for

doggiedo · Sep 18, 2012, 09:04 PM

How did your husband react? DI he agree? Did he listen I you and/or provide support?

I also want to say u arnt alone. I was at work today this morning forcing myself to eat something and then tracking it in my counter ap for my phone and then trying to plan out my next meal, how low I can go. It's like a game- to see how much I can get away with.

Scary how fast it can start huh? Hang in here hun and good for u for reaching out and talkin to your husband.

mrskid · Sep 18, 2012, 09:51 PM

He really did not react but I don't think he knew how too. He said not to loose any more weight but he said that" its your body you can do what you wont with it". Not sure how to take that one. I made sure I ate well around him did not wont to disappoint him any more today but now I feel fat. I don't even know if I have an ED problem. I have always watched what I ate and been self conscious of my body image ( even though I have always been normal weight) as long as I can remember but since I had my twin boys back in January what seem to start out as a simple diet turned into more restricting and not just what I ate but what I drink too. Am I just blowing a simple diet out to be more then what it really is. Peace love and smile

mrskid · Oct 01, 2012, 10:09 PM

Well husband been watching every thing I eat. In doing so I have gain weight he says that's a good thing but I hate it. Now I feel fat and wont to restrict what I eat even more and I know its not healthy but I feel if i just look at food i gain weight. I feel so disgusted with my self for gaining weight.

doggiedo · Oct 02, 2012, 08:19 PM

Aw hugs Hun. Good for you for gaining! I know its hard, but its for the best

Are you able to talk to someone about your negative self thoughts? I think once you can figure out why you are having these thoughts, it might help you continue to curb your behavior. Hang in there. Maybe consider reaching out to a primary doc? Would your husband go with you to an appt?

Victoria'smom · Oct 02, 2012, 10:50 PM

I'm glad your husband is being supportive but do you have a support team outside your home? Have you had anymore conversations with him.

mrskid · Oct 03, 2012, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm glad your husband is being supportive but do you have a support team outside your home? Have you had anymore conversations with him.

No I don't have any other support team outside of my house and no I have not had any more direct conversations with my husband its kind of became an unspoken secret other then little remarks like have you ate today and don't loose any more weight. His solution to the problem is that every time he eats he looked at me to making sure I am also eating something and I don't wont to disappoint him so I eat around him but by the end of yesterday I felt so full I felt like I needed to purge I did not and never have purged before but it kinda scared me that I even had the thought.

mrskid · Oct 03, 2012, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doggiedo

Aw hugs Hun. Good for you for gaining! I know its hard, but its for the best

Are you able to talk to someone about your negative self thoughts? I think once you can figure out why you are having these thoughts, it might help you continue to curb your behavior. Hang in there. Maybe consider reaching out to a primary doc? Would your husband go with you to an appt?

I have not talk with any one about my negative self thoughts other then here. I will consider talking with my primary doc.

mrskid · Oct 04, 2012, 02:33 AM

Two steps forward one step backwards the story of my life well went back words all the weight I gained I lost

Christina86 · Oct 09, 2012, 09:32 PM

Have you talked to a doctor or therapist about this?

Glad your husband is supportive.

mrskid · Oct 12, 2012, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christina86

Have you talked to a doctor or therapist about this?

Glad your husband is supportive.

No Christina have not talked with my doctor and I don't have a therapist so no other then here I have not spoken to any one but my husband but even we don't talk about it any more. still normal weight but loosing thank you for the post

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