Got scolded by my Dr. about diet & exercise

I went to see my doctor yesterday because my whole body has been trembling for over a month and it seems to get worse as the goes on. I also get lightheaded and nauseous along with it. My blood pressure is borderline and I've been taking meds for it. When I'm in the worst part of these daily episodes, my BP is higher than normal.
First thing they do is get you on that d*** scale. Then take your BP (which was perfectly normal). The Dr. comes in and within 2 min was scolding me that I had gained 10 lbs in the past 6 months.
I am fat. I know this. I've known it forever. My mother has told me that for 54 yrs. Actually, I was pretty much an "average" weight - near normal for my height through college. Then between college and about 35 I gained maybe 20-25 lbs. Starting after 35, about the time I first started psych meds for depression, I began a cycle of weight gain that never stopped. I gained about 85-90 lbs since then.
However, for the last 4 years, after I saw a nutritionist, I started to change my eating habits. Turns out I wasn't eating enough. I was eating between 1000- and 1100 calories a day. So I had to work at upping it to 1400-1500.
I also discovered that I only lose weight if I get down to 800 calories/day, but I know that's not good. I use the app My Fitness Pal to record everything I eat and try to keep to their recommended Carb, fat, protein, etc. goals.

I've tried exercising many times and gave up because nothing, absolutely nothing happened. I tried "Curves", 5 days/week, for 2 months straight. I even did the circuit twice. NOTHING. Then I started to get almost daily migraines so I quit. I had a bowflex at home. did that every morning for 30 min. for over 1 year. NOTHING. Wii fit for 60 min/day 7 days/week for 2 months. NOTHING. Those are just in the last 10 yrs.

So back to the Dr. and the scolding. I tried to tell her what I eat and about the app, and explain what my breakfast smoothie is (210 cal., 19 gm Protein). All she says is "sugar, sugar, sugar". Do you know how much sugar is in plain greek yogurt?! I couldn't say anything. I was devastated. She continued. "You have to exercise! Get that cardio going! No processed foods"
But, I don't eat fast food. I eat fresh fruit, fresh or frozen veggies, we rarely go out to eat. I cook everything. Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!
She basically negated everything I tried to do with my diet and told me it didn't matter.
I have a horrible body image problem. I feel like either not eating at all or stuffing myself with all the crap I haven't eaten in years, until I explode and die.
I won't eat in crowds because I hear people whispering about the fat chick with a plate of food, how gross is that! I'll stop there because I would go on forever with that.

I'm sorry this post got so long. If you got through this whole thing, thank you for reading.
I have to go get blood drawn for a battery of tests the Dr. wants. Kinda don't want to.
Who cares if the fat chick is sick. Fat people don't deserve medical help until they lose weight. Sorry, can you tell I'm a tad upset?

I can understand this. I'm overweight too and I dread getting weighed. I also am having terrible trouble trying to do anything about it. It's also like with smoking, once you get sick you feel unentitled to treatment because "you did it to yourself" is the common perception, but it's much more complicated than that. ((hugs))

i think docs are brainwashed 'norm-droids' . there are healthy people who happen to be heavy, and there are sick people who happen to be thin. if you've tried and tried everything to change and you can't, they really ought to respect that, maybe even look for some underlying factor.

psych meds are often the cause of weight gain, but the pdoc says it's better to be "normalish" and have side effects. then the GP, MD says it's our fault. i stopped listening years ago, and even started distorting the truth recently, just to shut them up. i've been living with me, 24/7 for over 60 yrs, and they have seen me for less than a day. i'm a blip in with 60 other blips a day for most of them.

you are doing more than most to take care of yourself, it sounds like to me, np.

I am lucky because my primary care physician is overweight. So every time he scolds me about my weight he has to preface it with, "I know this sounds hypocritical, but..."

I think a lot of people who have never struggled with their weight don't realize how hard it can be. I have a friend from childhood who has always been slender who tells me not to "diet," but to make "lifestyle changes" like cutting out dessert or whatever. I want to scream in frustration when she says things like this--I am overweight. In order to lose weight at about 1 lb. a week, I have to limit myself to 1200 calories a day. Cutting out dessert (which I rarely eat anyway) will not do any good.

But of course you've addressed the most frustrating thing--even when you DO diet and exercise, sometimes the weight doesn't go. And of course to everyone else (like your doctor) that means you are doing something wrong. The sugar in a 210 calorie smoothie for breakfast isn't going to cause you problems with weight gain. If it had that much sugar, it would have more calories.

I hope you are assertive with your doctor. People deserve care whatever their size--and a lot of doctors who are prejudiced against overweight people will overlook non-weight related issues because they believe all problems are cased by being fat.

Thank you for sharing. This was the first post I read and replied to. I never heard of the app you use, but just downloaded it. I am having severe weight gain, constipation, and severe heartburn. I feel sick eating anything and eating nothing. I hope you your tests give you answers.

I have had very hash doctors in the past and I've learned that scolding has the opposite effect on me. Why even try? The dr yells at me no matter what I try!

I have had more success with doctors who help me set realistic goals and praise the things I do "right".

I think some docs are used to patients lying a bit about what they eat. So they think everyone lies. Before treatment for hypothyroid I measured the calories I needed to start losing weight. I had to eat 700 or less. Or I would stay the same and gain. People go Ohnooo you lie! You cannot gain on 800 calories that is physically impossible.

Gah.

Because my friend is on a longer sick leave she wants to eat with me, she eats normally and demands I also do. Which means I gained 5 pounds within a week. My body is not used to eating normally. I live in a state of starvation all the time. That is the only thing I can do not to get fat. Then people start whining I eat too little and if I would just do what they say I'd lose weight.

Blah blah blah.

I got told by my nurse a few years ago I need to stop indulging on sweets and cookies. I told her I don't eat that (I don't, I hate sweet stuff) but she was just rolling her eyes because she KNEW what I ate and I do not! So there!

I'm prone to getting fatter even with thyroid treated. It's just life for some people.

Less than 6 % sugar in Greek yogurt so no idea what that is about. I try to draw the line at 4-5 but that is just me. Most people eat a lot more!

It's really discouraging when someone thinks you're just lying and really sit at home eating lard with a spoon and sugar out of the bag. I'm simply not made for losing weight. I have no idea how to manage my friend that forces me to eat "normally", I can't eat like that in the long run...

I know how you feel too. I have a food journal and track everything I eat. To maintain I need to eat about 1200 calories a day, to loose I need to be eating between 800 and 1000 daily. The problem with "exercise" is that it just doesn't work.

Several years back I accompanied my son and his Scout Troop on a 30 mile backpacking trip through the Grand Canyon and gained 5 pounds because everyone insisted I eat at least 1500 calories a day on the trail. The other leaders were consuming about 2400 calories and day and probably lost weight on the trip, but not me!

I carried a 50 pound pack while hiking in extreme conditions for 5 days eating only 1500 calories a day and still gained weight. It's so frustrating!

I was once in environmental therapy, long long time ago, and you HAD to do as they said. They were obsessed with eating. I was there from 8 or 9 to 3 and within that time they managed to squeeze in 4 meals. I told them straightout I cannot eat like that, I will be a blob in notime.

They told me I HAD to eat normal (normal not healthy cuz we sure didn't get healthy food), and if I needed to lose, I simply had to walk it off.

Back then I didn't know how little calories exercise actually burns or I would have told them. The extra calories they made me eat in one day would have taken 7 hours walking off! They made it sound like I needed like 30 minutes.

So I started being sneaky and pretend I ate more than I did. It wasn't too hard because I'm a natural slow eater. But I hate being deceptive. But just because they could eat crap every day PLUS junk and still stay skinny doesn't mean I can.

I was almost thrown out of therapy for not eating cookies. They forced me to eat sugar free cookies. And mind you, this therapy had NOTHING to do with eating disorders. Sigh. It could have given me one though....

People are crazy, crazy I tell you!

I wanted to follow up. I have been using the app MY FITNESS PAL and I have lost 3 lbs. this week alone. I like that I can eat what I want as long as I stay within my allotted calories. It has made me think more about my choices as well as the excitement of gaining more calories for intake when I do any exercise. I know that some people won't like doing the diary of everything you eat, but I like that it also reminds me when I've skipped logging my meals.

I had never heard of the app until NERVOUS PUPPY mentioned it. Thank you!!! It's helping me so much!