Feeling numb and hopeless due to huge gambling problem

I've been living in a recovery house now for a year and have been sober from d/a for over a year. I recently discovered online gambling and actually won a substantial amount of money. Unfortunately the thrill of the win complete took me over and kept chasing small losses even though I was still up. After 3 months of this i am now in a huge debt and all my plans of getting a car next year and my own place are completely out the window. My only (reasonable) solution is to cut all spending and I had a friend but gambling block on my phone so only to get food i need and of course do what i can to pay my bills. But I am in such debt i can't even imagine how many years it's going to take me to even just be able to get a vehicle again. Im also worried one day my time in this recovery house will day come to end if im here to long.I ride my electric bike 10 miles to work and 10 miles back no matter the weather and right now I just feel so hopeless and I feel so overwhelmed I can't even get myself to want to to attempt anything to distract myself. I just want to isolate and cry and I just fake through my workdays until I can get home and sleep... please if anyone can think of anyway to help i would be so greatful. It's like I don't wanna talk about it though because I can expect the responses and i just can't get myself to accept the hope...

I am so very, very sorry that you are in the unhappy situation you describe. I will have to give some thought to your situation and see if I can think of something helpful. In some countries, a person can start over financially. Don't know how that all works. Sorry again that you are in the circumstances you describe.

Thank you so much my friend. It is very reassuring to know people out there care. Restarting Is my only option. I just wish I could go back and do it differently. Some people have suggested I start a fundraiser, but I don't think I would want to go that route. I am just doing to pinch my pennies and hope I can chose to enjoy the experience in life rather than dwell on the negative. It is very hard but i am managing to handle it better than expected. However I have my moment to myself where I feel tears start to gether in my eyes and I cant help but almost laugh at my careless mistakes. .. bless you my friend

Spent the afternoon with my daughter in a nearby city. She lives near a cousin who has lived with her boyfriend for a couple of years. I asked my daughter how they were doing and she said they weren't together anymore. Sad because they did make a lovely couple. He was a nice young man, but unbeknownst to me, he had a gambling problem. I can't say this applies to all gamblers, but some seem to have a desire to be punished by their losses. I see guys travel some distance to play billiards with hustlers who are much better than they are. The outcome is always the same. They go home with no money, and come back after next payday to do it all over again. For about 6 months, I played a guy who was known as one of the best unknown 9 ball players on the east coast. I had no illusions as to what I was trying to do. I was learning from a pro. We started at $2 a game, and after a couple of months he asked to bump it up to $3 because It was hardly worth his time to play me anymore. I moved on from him and finished in the money at the US largest amateur billiards tournament. I won an annual Moose international 9 ball championship and would win weekly tournaments every month such that it was almost like having a part time job while having a great time playing. I never "hustled" anyone by concealing my skill level. I put my cue stick down in 2020 at the start of the pandemic and haven't touched it since. I have discovered I have a lot of free time for other things. I see people out and about and they ask about my pool playing. They can't believe I would ascend to the level I was playing al, and just walk away from it. Like anything else, ....too much of a good thing.