Dealing with things that trigger you

Hi

I've read (and still struggle with applying) things like lists of how to ground after being triggered by something but when it comes time and I'm reacting with what later feels like a completely over the top reaction ... I have two questions:

1. Before the reaction are there things we can do to soften the reaction if they are known triggers or at least vaguely known ones ?

2. When you are in the process of reacting how are you meant to be able to slow down enough to even think of applying any grounding technique and be in a state of mind where you can allow yourself to (once negative thinking overtakes a downward spiral the idea of doing something good for oneself can either fade or seem repellant)?

Hello Tigergirl!

We are all different but it is about finding out what works for you. The worst triggers are the ones that we least expect to come along but we can create a toolbox of coping strategies. Your therapist has probably taught you some but here are some of my favourites -

a) Self - soothing statements. You know those little yellow post it notes, well, write a simple one sentence line on them such as, 'I am safe now' or 'It's 2014' Many triggers are from the past so a here- and- now statement can really help. You can put those post it notes where you know you can easily find them such as inside a cupboard or on the fridge.

b) Use distractions - such as listening to modern music (not old music that will remind you of anything,) playing simple games on the computer, playing cards or a board game (yes I used to play scrabble against myself!)

c) Sensory grounding, feel each footstep you take with your feet, touch objects around you, feel different surfaces, step outside and really look at nature around you, listen and concentrate on the birds singing.

d) Safe place visualization. Think of the very best safest place you could ever go. So mine is a beautiful cliff-top where I can feel the wind in my hair and I can smell the sea...

e) Concentrate on your breathing, sounds silly but when we are triggered the breathing goes to pot. Place your hand on your stomach, breathe in 1-2, breathe out 1-2, you need to do this for at least 10 minutes, it will seem like for ever! If things are really bad you can breathe into a paper bag.

f) Learn relaxation. This one is really a preventative measure and needs to be practiced on a regular basis for good effect. Buy yourself a CD which helps you to relax every part of your body.

g) Talk about it to a friend. We are human beings and need to share and not bottle it up. Phone a friend! Journaling - write it down.

h) Exercise - Is known to help depression and anxiety, go for a gentle stroll somewhere nice and preferably in the sunshine. I got myself a dog so I had a reason to do it.

There are others but these are ones that work for me. Some you have to practice so that you can catch that trigger real quick.

Most of all, do not beat yourself up for having a reaction, it means you are dealing with it! Hugs!

My therapist tells me to RESPOND, instead of REACT. When you respond to a trigger, you are in control over the trigger. When you react, the trigger has control over you.

When you respond to a situation, you are more likely to remain calm, and think more clearly.

Reacting will involve emotions.

Responding takes practice, so give yourself time to learn the new way to approach triggers. Be gentle with yourself. Be forgiving of yourself.

This is all new to me right now, and I tend to react. I am trying to learn to respond. It isn't easy, and I have a long way to go. Know you are not alone in this!

I agree that practicing how to respond to triggers is really important.

During the times when you are not triggered, study the ideas of how to ground make the most sense to you or are the easiest "go to's" to help you through it.

The more you can train yourself to remember those things, the better it will be to bring them up when you are in a triggering moment.

Again, not always easy to do, but definitely worth the effort. As with any new concept, practice practice practice!

Thanks Pegasus that's a great list to have and I'm thankful to you for giving it. Of course, my first reaction was to think that they all seemed impossible suggestions and not workable for various reasons so I wanted to run far and wide from the suggestions. Now I'm trying to see that while they may not all work just yet it would be better to choose one or two strategies that might be more possible to work on than others, rather than to put all of them in a too hard basket.

Thanks for this! I remember when I was doing some CBT related work this is one of the things that was suggested and that I practised for a time, and then gradually forgot about and went back to the reacting instead. Your reminder is helpful

Thanks Sabby I like that idea of practising and studying the grounding ideas at the times I'm not triggered; and also working out the easiest "go to's"

Really needed to read something along these lines today and I'm so glad that a thread was up.

Great advices people! I will just add that breathing exercises helps a lot

Why you see, something such as a catalyst would greatly increase the rate of a reaction. However, to decrease the reaction rate, one must decrease the reacting forces. Of course, a buffer works quite nicely to prevent slight pH changes in solutions.

I wish I knew, things trigger me all of the time, and I usually always freak out at them.