[Soccer mom]

I have been going to my therapist off and on for the past several years for various issues: parents, spouse, kids, etc. I've never gone to more than 4 sessions at a time and they were more about how to solve a problem.

My mom passed away a few weeks ago after a 5 week illness of stage IV lung cancer that spread to her liver. Due to 17 years of drug/alcohol dependence and controlling behavior, we were never really close. I haven't cried much at all and was not allowed to cry when I was younger. I would be sent to my room.

I've been going to my T for the longest period of time (6 sessions) and she has been fantastic. She has texted me and used phrases such as "I'm always here for you", "I know what you're going through" and called me on the Sunday my mom passed away. She also cried when I shared something about my mom saying her mom is the same way. While this was all comforting, it has made me want to see her more than in the past. In a wierd way, I don't want to be close to her because I don't want to WANT to go see her just from an emotional side.
Part of me wants to tell her all of this, but ironically I don't completely want the sweetness to stop. Thoughts?

[pegasus]

Hello Soccer mom, welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry to hear of your Mom's passing, grief is very hard, please be gentle with you.

It sounds like for the first time you have someone (your T) who is showing you true caring and that can feel really scary especially if you have not had that before or if you have been hurt badly in the past.

Therapy is a very powerful thing and it really is to help you with your feelings and emotions, hang in there with it, try not to run. If you have never been able to cry that is a huge thing. That means you have never had that release that you need.

Here is an article on the challenges of psychotherapy. It's worth doing. 7 Challenges of Psychotherapy | World of Psychology

Also, check out our Psychotherapy and do a search on attachment, you will find you are not alone in your feelings.

[monkeybrains21]

I to never want to hve an emotional attachment to T. I don't allow it with her or anyone really except my partner. I grew up somewhat like u not allowed to cry or show emotion. I see T almost every other week for 2 1/2yrs ( thought it was 3 but all time blends for me). T recently told me I can call or text anytime I need to. I know I won't. I'm very white and black on the issue no gray area. I have my scheduled appt and that's that no extra no less. No attachment.

[unaluna]

Maybe you should try it. Who wrote this rule?

Eta: ps. I used to feel the same way.

[healingme4me]

I feel it would be appropriate to mention this, to your T.
I'm also, rather firm about not growing attachment to my therapist.
The sweetness, aspect, may be an awakening for you, to seek out a friendship that is like that. A new found need.
We all grieve differently and crying isn't a requirement. Maybe, something else, will bring about a needed crying spell, if it's not the right time for you, it just isn't.


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[Soccer mom]

I'm realizing now that throughout my life I have had people I grew attached to: teachers, camp friends, etc. At this stage in my life I don't really have someone I am really close to. I have great friends but not any I bare my soul to. I just don't want my T to be the person I get close to - I want it to be someone else but she's, I guess, at the right place at the right time.