[Jenni855]

So I have known my colleague T for a long time. 5 years in fact and I have watched her children grow up, looked after the children at work and privately and so I am quite surprised at the following...I heard through someone else that T and her family are moving abroard on Friday. I feel quite hurt as she didn't tell me herself and was no doubt going to go without saying goodbye . It is not like we were friends as such but I thought I meant more then that and can't help but feel a bit stung by it.

I think she should have told you.

[Jenni855]

I feel pretty awful about this. Not nice to know you didn't mean much.

[hvert]

I hope you get the chance to say goodbye to the kids. It does seem pretty cold of her not to tell you.

[Jenni855]

It hurts.

[InTheProcess]

I think she should have told you and I do not feel you are being over sensitive.
Have you asked her about it?- although I can not think of a good reason that she would not have told you, maybe she does have one.
GOOD LUCK

[Jenni855]

Thanks, I will ask her about it but feel too hurt to do much right now. I always feel second rate and invisible to others.

Yeah ...

Feeling like an afterthought or last minute substitute bites!

Sorry you're feeling the sting of that!

[Jenni855]

That's exactly it Pfrog. I kind of just want to leave things now but torn between that and saying something. Clearly, I didn't mean as much as I thought though and that does sting.

[Karchaman]

People can be a disappointment, what we think is special, isn't necessarily what the other person feels. It's happened to me, it's not a good feeling. But it's a lesson.

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Hi, I'm new to this site looking forward to joining in.

[Jenni855]

It happens to me all the time so there must be something inadequate about me. I am done caring and loving.

[Karchaman]

There's nothing wrong with you, Jenn885, try not to be so hard on yourself.

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Hi, I'm new to this site looking forward to joining in.

I don't think you're being overly sensitive at all. It's sad that your colleague was going to leave without a word to you. Even though you were not super close, you watched her children and had some kind of friendship over the last 5 yrs. I would definitely approach her with the information you've been told, if for no other reason than to verify it is true. I would not let her go without giving her the opportunity to explain herself. Maybe she really likes you and feels bad about telling you she's leaving. It's best to find out the real story.

Originally Posted by Karchaman

People can be a disappointment, what we think is special, isn't necessarily what the other person feels. It's happened to me, it's not a good feeling. But it's a lesson. Hi, I'm new to this site looking forward to joining in.

I've been disappointed too but I would like to know what the lesson is that you learned from this? That other people just use you? Is that the lesson?

[Jenni855]

This may sound stubborn but I kind of think I shouldn't bother as i clearly don't mean much. I just feel pretty disheartened and fed up as this does happen to me a lot. I always seem to be the after thought or the one who is forgotten. From now on, I am backing off from caring. Trust me, all it has EVER done is hurt me.

[karlkarrlander]

Don't let things like this bring you down, you are beautiful in every single way and don't even consider that somethings wrong with you. People who fail to recognize when you only care for them and show affection are fools!

The only thing you can do now is talk to her about it and move on, live in the moment! Life is so much simpler that way, as I've personally noticed.

I'm here to help Jenni!

Best,
Karl

[Jenni855]

Well I did text her, just asked if it was true and she just replied with 'Yes, who told you? We are moving on Friday.' So that's it. No apology for not telling me sooner, no saying she will miss me or thank you. So that's it. I am done.

[Little Lulu]

Some people are not good at goodbyes, me included. They are painful for me. Maybe that is her issue. It has nothing to do with you Jenni but I can see how it feels like it for you.

I hope you find the courage to wish her well before she leaves even though you are angry with her. You might feel better if you do.

[Pierro]

You are perfectly right to feel the way you do. I think she could have told you. Is it true that she is going abroad or is it just rumor.

[Jenni855]

I have left it. Feel very hurt but mainly embarrassed for thinking I meant more then I did.
Five years of watching children grow up and being involved in their and their families lives, all of which meant nothing. I feel very stupid and as I say, embarrassed that people are so indifferent towards me.

[Jenni855]

All over, gone now and that's it. Wow.

[tabenda]

I think you should say something. If your choices are say nothing and feel bad thinking she didn't value you enough or letting her know you heard she was moving and you want to say bye (in a positive way) ..... I would choose the chance to say bye. That lets HER know that you valued her enough to say bye and as a previous poster said, maybe there's a reason she hasn't yet (or no really good reason - it could be that the move abroad is overwhelming her).

[Jenni855]

She has gone now. I won't embarrass myself by contacting her to say I am hurt she didn't bother to tell me face to face. I just feel very down at how little I meant and how indifferent people can be towards me a lot of the time.

[hvert]

That sucks. I'm sorry she pulled such a mean stunt like that. She probably had other issues, so you can't connect this to yourself. Is this the same colleague you posted about a few months ago, who got sort of weird about having you visit with the kids?

[Jenni855]

No this is another one Hvert, I am sure it is just me. I am not enough for people.

[ifst5]

I would have replied with something curt; i.e. 'Well i hope you fit in ok. I here people from ______ are very understanding.'

And leave it there. Block and delete her from your contacts and be glad that sort of a person is soon going to be far from your life.

Good riddance i say.