[Adventurer26]

Hello to start I had a traumatic childhood which caused me to misbehave in elementary school because I don't think I had therapy so I acted out until the 4th grade when a kid beat me up for annoying him for acting like a fool which I didn't know how to deal with because I wasn't raised or taught how to stick up for myself or didn't learn the behavior since it feels my dad wasn't a hostile type always out working and when he was around seems he was just nice a friendly with ppl so I shut down and became the quiet kid. I also irritated adults and my aunts husband (uncle at the time) picked me up by the arms and threw me on the couch and yelled at me when I was a kid since I was annoying, he did cry and was sorry about it but my dad didn't do anything and it was in front of the whole family. My dad wasn't a small guy either very muscular at 6'1 and my uncle was a big guy too about 6'3. If it was me I would've took him out back or dealt with him right there. I notice I have that passive too nice attitude too much and I don't like it so it feels awkward when I get stern with people when they bother me or think about being stern since I didn't have the tough father like figure to look up to and a mom who always would embarrass me when I stood up against kids in high school and put them in their place. Does that anxiety and feelings of being timid and shy at times come from how my parents were??

[Travelinglady]

Hello, Adventurer26! Welcome to Psych Central! I think such a personality could be partly inherited. And yes, I think your father's way of not responding could be a factor, too.

Have you considered getting therapy? I think that would be helpful.

[Thunder Bow]

You did have a strong father to look up to. You just sought attention to yourself by being annoying. You just wanted your Fathers attention. That is all.

[ifst5]

I'm not sure a 'stern' father would have been any better...you needed someone balanced, and as much as having a very docile parent seems to have impacted upon you, do you not think having someone who took people out the back to give them what for would have been any better? We see the impact of overly strict and abusive fathers here all the time and trust me it ain't pretty. Have you thought about professional help? There's a time to let this sort of thing go but sometimes we need guidance on doing that. All anyone can advise you here is to accept its time to move on and acknowledge that there are always better and conversely much worse situations out there. I hope you find peace with your childhood.