Same room as ex

I have to attend a four-way meeting with my NPD ex. I can't even tolerate looking at his name in an e-mail much less than being in the same room. Any suggestions on how to prepare for the meeting?

I must apologize... I do not know what NDP is. Can you elaborate please? You also refer to the meeting being 4 way; who are the additional two individuals?

My ex has Narristict personality. The 4-way is between the two of us with our lawyers. He keeps blowing off the one kid who wants to see him and is leaving me with a lot of expenses with all three. The court requires we try to mediate before court but in the past it has nothing but a bully session that ends up accomplishing nothing. I have come a long way in the two years I have been away from him but that is because I have kept contact to only e-mails. I think as time has gone by it has actually gotten more difficult for me to face him. His behavior of completely cutting the kids out of his life because "he has to protect himself aka his money" has made me have to accept how wrong it was for me to let us be under that type of control for so long. I have blocked so many things out of my memory and the meanness in his eyes and his condescending glare has become more triggering the longer I have been away from him.

It helps me to make a list of what I want to say. Maybe put on the list something like don't react to the jerk
Practice grounding; feet square on the floor, arms at sides, focus on the feel of the floor and chair. Look around the room and identify details. Maybe count the number of green (or whatever color) things you can see.
If you get triggered, imagine that you are watching a train go past and the trigger is on one of the train cars. It goes out of sight quickly.
If you trust your lawyer to represent you well, you could focus on saying the alphabet backwards or counting backwards by 3s from 100 to distract yourself.

Make a list of what you want to get out of this session, what things are negotiable and what your absolute drop dead limits are and line them in red so you don't go below.

Keep telling yourself that you cannot control the ex, you cannot make this person different.

Let your lawyer do most of the talking and breathe deeply. If you become upset, focus on your seat, your body, feel yourself sit in the chair and feel your hands on the ams of the chair. Look at your hands and take deep breaths.