PTSD & Alcoholism

I'm just wondering if I'm the only one struggling with this issue. I find it so much more desirable to live in a world of chemically induced euphoria, than to handle my demons with sobriety.

Anyone else? Doesn't have to be just alcohol as an escape.

This is what I'm afraid of happening if I get a prescription for medicinal marijuana.

As for the PTSD and false euphoria. I have a poor relatioship with food. I eat to comfort myself through the pain. I wil also climb back into bed in order to 'hide'. I suppose one could say these are my ways of self-medicating.

Alcohol.If I have access to it, it will be gone. I don't purchase it myself as I simply can't afford it.. But, typically, my boyfriend will buy a case of 15 or more, drink 2 or 3 and leave the remainder behind. That lasts at most two days. And yes, it helps push away the darkness.

My food issues and I go back and forth. I can tell you that I really don't have a problem with marijuana (I don't know of anyone getting addicted to pot and if so, it doesn't seem to interfere with a lot of people's daily lives). I smoke/consume just enough to help with the chronic pain in my neck, chest and shoulder; but I don't take in enough to get high. I can make three grams last for two weeks. I don't know why, it makes me feel better than the alcohol. Then again, my drinking began at a very young age (single digits) while the first time I regularly started using marijuana was when I was diagnosed with cancer at eighteen.
Honestly, I could be wrong and in denial, but I don't see myself as an alcoholic. I don't need it.
Lately, though. I just can't stand being sober anymore. Could be weed, could be alcohol; at this point it could probably be just about anything (save hard illicit drugs). It's getting really bad now that I'm not sleeping; I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

[As you can tell, I'm one of them legalized weed advocates crawling all over the states, these days.]

When my PTSD gets bad I start craving substances and things that take me away from reality. I usually end up waiting for a party, but then once I'm inebriated (usually from LSD tbh) I don't want it to stop. When I sober up, I start drinking or doing something else and try to coerce people to continue with me. Sometimes it lasts days. The only thing that really pulls me out of it is having responsibilities that I need to be sober and awake for.