Worst Fear

What is it?

My tangible worst fear is spiders.

My intangible worst fear is: what if I'm just broken and this is as good as I can get? What if this depressed sad existence with intermittent rage and sleeplessness is all there is?

I have an innate fear of snakes. (Ran into them all of the time when I was younger-it was habit for me to scan the ground for them when I hiked or climbed.)
Conceptually, I fear the idea of being severly disabled (ie can't do useful things) but force "to live." One of the things that makes living worthwhile for me is being able to do useful things independently like cook, clean, earn money, drive, shop, exercise, and check in on people's well being. Plus, I hate being stuck inside--it is essential for my happiness to get fresh air and sunshine--and I want to be able to stroll outside when I feel like it, not on some sort of institution's (this makes me think of IP) schedule or something similiar.

yep snakes. saw one a few years ago while walking and i immediately walked off. it didn't even come after me though. scary thing is it was about 6 metres away from a herd of cattle. poor things

My worst fear is losing my disability assistance..

My second worst fear is my children could be in jeopardy.

My worst fear is being broke and not being able to pay my bills.

My worst fear is that I'm going to loose what's left of my mind.

Hey, this is one of my fears too... the loss of consciousness of the mind.
I was gonna write failing to be independent (work advancement, my own roof, a partner to live with for life), but now I'm not sure which is worst

I've given this some consideration. I'm not so sure I do have such a fear; at least, I worry about it only to a certain extent.

I volunteer at a care home. I have observed both patients with dementia and patients with incredible physical challenges. I worry far more about maintaining my mental faculties yet being trapped in a physically ravaged body. ALS is one such example. No, I would prefer the dementia route.

My worst fear is something bad happening to my family.

My worst fear is bad things happening to my son.

Im fearful of giving into the images.

I cant actually feel the 'pain'.
I don't want to do it but my body is doing it anyways no matter how hard I fight it.
Like I don't want to but unseen hands guide the action.

It feels like the moment you slip while carving with a sharp blade. It doesn't 'hurt' but you know it was bad.

But worse is when I feel comfortable and even elated at the thought of doing worse to others.
Sometimes I can feel the shift coming on and it scares me.
So I hide and keep talking and refusing to take action.
Even if the impulse is toward those deserving of such action. It still scares me.

I guess this would be a fear of losing control to that twisted part within myself.

Possible Trigger!!
My worst fear is that I will watch my daughter suffer with her physical and mental issues and not be able to help her. And that one day I will decide that she's suffered enough in this life and we should walk into the next together.

same


....

Being forgotten about

Flunking college

Ending up broke and unable to support myself somehow

My parents not fully accepting who I am even though some of the time that I've shaped my individuality and learned more about myself was while living with them. I've had those secrets for almost a decade, but never had the guts to tell them. I feel like I shouldn't tell them since I'm living on my own now, but at the same time, things keep feeling awkward when they visit.

Getting fired.

I think all of my worst fears happened this year. I went from being gainfully employed going on medical leave due to physical illness, to unemployed and trying to get disability due mental illness. I was evicted in August after missing July's rent while I was in hospital, now either sleeping in my car or occasionally with friends. I tried homeless shelters a few times but panic attacks took over. Now, I'm officially out of funds, unable to work, will probably lose my car in January. And I'm alone. So, worst fears used to include homelessness, no money, and not having anyone to help out. Yep, I met them all.

oh my.. this is tough

agoraphobia, my family, or growing old with nothing to show for my life (getting to like 90 and realise my whole life is wasted)

hmm

their all just as bad

but I think if I only had to choose 1, family

My worst fear is the suffering and death of my loved ones, pets included. I have lost so many people and pets over the years that I am in a state of constant grief and terror. I am sure I have a bad case of PTSD.

My worst fear is losing those i love.

Worst fear..not getting better from all my issues/problems going on in my mind and being like this forever and yes like the above losing my family.

Thanks everyone for the replies. Seems like a common theme is definitely revolving about hurt family members. I can really relate to that, as well. Going entirely out of my mind, always on my mind and is a big fear for me, too. Along with my illnesses never getting better. I'm going to lay mine out, in a weird way, I should add. If you respond to it, please be gentle in your response, as it is hard for me to go into. Trigger warning. Here it goes:

"You're so much like your dad." , "Aw, you look just like him." , "You know they fight because of you." , "You're the reason mom left." , "You realize you're nothing, right?" , "You can't be pissed at this family. You are this family. You're just like us." , "You'll never be anything more than what you are now: Selfish, spoiled, immature and stupid as hell" , "What's the point of doing that **** [homework], anyway? It's not like you'll make it to college" , "You know your a bad kid. The worst kid I've ever seen. I'll be surprised if you don't end up in prison by eighteen." , "You're worthless." , "If it wasn't for you, maybe I'd be happy!" , "It's your fault they were taken, you ****ing *****!"

I know this is a weird answer to my own question. So, a bit of background to offer is that a lot of these are quotes and some just insecurities I've told myself. To add it up, I'm not only scared I'll become my family, I'm scared I already am and that I've hurt people. I'm scared I hurt people everyday and that I'm no better than the things I hate so much. It scares me so bad that writing this has made it difficult to type because I'm shaking and trying not to go into a panic attack. I'm going to have to stop here.