Having "Flashbacks" of relapsing again

Sometimes out of the blue I'll start freaking out, "What if I have another episode?" My biggest fear is that it will happen at work, so I envisioned what would happen if I lost my mind at work. The shame and humiliation, my parents unreachable, getting carted off in an ambulance kicking and screaming with all my coworkers watching. I get so scared when I think about this and I just spent 20 minutes having an anxiety attack over this. I know that as long as I take my medication it would never happen, but my life would be over if this were to happen again. I'd never be able to work again. I'd be a vegetable again. All my progress would be wasted and I'd have to start over. Would I have the strength to pull myself out again? To try to be a successful adult all over again? I'm flipping out and scared.

I'm sorry you feel like this.

We all have things we distort in our mind. Don't let yourself dwell on negative improbable situations. Dwell on the positive possibilities instead.

When you have thoughts like that, just tell your mind to STOP...change the channels, so to speak...and think about something positive instead. Best of luck to you.

I have the same fear. It's kind of like having PTSD due to having broken down before, fear for the next time it happens.

No need to be scared. You progressed beyond that. That is a nice fantasy about being hauled off to the funny farm, but it will never happen.

It's hard not to think of those things. But you can counter them with thoughts of being stable on medication and doing your job well.