[Hindley]

I'm looking to seek treatment for a chronic problem I've had increasingly throughout my adult life but have yet to manage or cure. I've made some attempts to seek counseling but I'm either misdiagnosed or had given up on treatment.
· The inner dialogue is constant and invasive. It's not a conversation with myself, it's almost always conflict, turmoil or anger lashing out at someone, coworkers or even loved ones. It starts the minute I get out of bed.


· Constant "ruminating thought" that surfaces in the form of expressed anger.


· Reliving or even imagining difficult, uncomfortable or painful experiences while at work or even driving in my car. It never ends.


· I’m somewhat short-fused and impatient – this isn’t helping things at all.

It's next to impossible to turn this off, and it impacts a good portion of my life. Even working out at the health club is a struggle at times and I'm quite easily distracted by this inner turmoil.

Quite often that inner dialogue can be seen surfacing when my lips are moving, or I'm having trouble concentrating or containing this anger. It must be obvious that something is going on inside it's usually me talking to someone or myself.
And, my attention span is next to nil. I'm always distracted and thinking of something else.
I'm not outwardly, openly angry, combative or violent towards others. And most would probably say I'm a pretty caring and funny person.

I recently started dating someone and she has asked what was going on inside and is urging me to seek some help. Is it physiological or psychological? Is an EEG or brain scan of any use?

I've suffered this throughout most of my adult life, increasingly, and now at the age of 60 it's time I end this once and for all. Is this anxiety? PTSD? Trauma? Curable without meds?
I don't see myself as being depressed, I just don't. I'm active and healthy, for the most part, but want to be more relaxed and at peace. And I have an aversion to taking meds unnecessarily. I want to get to the root of the problem, address it and end it, once and for all.

Thanks, everyone.

[*Laurie*]

Hi Hindley, Welcome to PC It's hard to read your post because the font is so small. I just want to let you know.

Sometimes depression doesn't 'look' like depression. Sometimes it manifests in purely physical ways, or in other ways, such as chronic anger.

It is not possible for anyone online to diagnose what's going on for you, and it's very difficult to diagnose yourself. Since your anger is clearly bothering you, and impacting your life, I strongly suggest that you speak with a mental health professional.

[Thunder Bow]

Counseling would be best for this. Just remember, there is no quick fix. Healing takes time and determination.

[Hindley]

Thanks to both of you and I apologize for the small text size - it was pasted in from another source.

Counseling or therapy? A psychologist or a psychiatrist?

Meditation? Or antidepressants?

Anyone care to add more suggestions? I really appreciate it.

We live in a med-happy world these days, and I see how often antidepressants are prescribed. They've been prescribed to ME, as well, with no appreciable positive effect but plenty of side-effects.

My experiences with therapy has been really discouraging. I give up after several sessions with no diagnosis or suggested remedies.

Thanks again.

Start with a mental health professional. They will answer these questions regarding the treatment that is best for you.

In the meantime, you are not alone. I too have a very critical inner voice. I take my medication, undego therapy, and it seems more manageable.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry therapy hasn't been helpful - however, I think you should keep looking, perhaps focusing on why these therapies haven't worked for you, and start from there.
Some self-help books might be helpful, as well.

[Fuzzybear]

I agree with others who suggest therapy

I too have an aversion to meds unless these are absolutely necessary - your concerns are very understandable re meds..