Plenty of Things Wrong With Me??

Hi there,

I feel like I'm at a loss here; it's as if I have so many things that are wrong with me... so not even sure where to start. I'll just begin with the most troublesome things and hope that it's just part of 1 thing...

I'll try to keep it as short as possible.

A short "checklist" would be:

• Intrusive (involuntary) and disturbing thoughts;
• OCD-like obsessions for preventing fire hazards/phobia for fire;
• Always tired; heavy "sacks" around eyes, average of 12-14 hours of sleep;
• Mood swings from very happy to very depressed at any given moment;
• Emotional eater/binge-eating when I feel bad;
• Always thinking about sex and horny most of the time, no "pickiness" in terms of looks... everything seems okay...

Involuntary thoughts: at random and at least a few times a day, I get involuntary thoughts that could be of anything of nature. For instance, I'd be petting my cat (I love him ) and I would randomly start seeing images of a dead or decapitated head of the cat).
Or, for instance, thoughts like "I wonder what it would be like to drown", or whilst listening to my grandmother, thoughts like "I hope she doesn't die of age soon..."

This is all very troublesome to me, because I'm a very kind hearted person and I do not like violence or anything negative at all. In fact, I try to avoid negativity altogether... but that's not possible like this.

Additionally, I seem to have an extreme need to always check the house for anything electricity-related, etc., and check 100 times before heading off to bed... in fear of the house catching fire whilst I sleep.
I also always check outside to make sure nobody is near my door or house, so I can sleep without worries.

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Emotions with parents vs. Emotions with strangers/non-family: Seemingly I feel uncomfortable to ever say "I love you" or hug my parents, even though I do love them very dearly... nor do I suffer from any abuse or whatsoever. I try to say it and show affection, but it feels like it's easier to fight a predator than to admit these feelings.
Strangely enough, with friends and the likes I'm very much open and loving.

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These are the two/three things that disturb me mostly. What would you say my starting point should be and what could this be categorised as, as to make searching information a bit more easy?

I'd greatly love some insights.

Honestly I don't know where you should start. I have multiple things wrong with me as well. I just write a list of what needs to be discussed with my therapist and go from there. If you are not in therapy I would highly recommend it as I find it helps a lot.

Since I see that this is your first post to these forums, I'd like to welcome you to Psych Central. I hope that you'll find this site to be a helpful source of support and information, and I'd like to encourage you to continue to use this site, if you think that doing so is something that you'd likely benefit from.

I can't diagnose you, but I think that you're probably onto something in basically saying that some of the symptoms that you've described seem to be line with the obsessive symptoms that those with OCD experience, even if you don't have any compulsions that are of any significance. And this isn't intended to have any diagnostic value either, but to me, it looks like some of the mood-related problems that you've described might possibly be part of what's sometimes called atypical depression, which is basically a pattern of depressive symptoms that typically involves having a reactive mood, along with symptoms that might include oversleeping, overeating, a heavy "leaden" feeling, and interpersonal rejection sensitivity. You might want to try looking for some more information about atypical depression (which can present itself both in bipolar disorder and in "unipolar" depressive disorders such as major depressive disorder and persistent depressive disorder) to see if this presentation of depressive symptoms might look like one possible explanation for at least some of the symptoms that you're experiencing. As you might already understand, though, you'd need to visit a qualified mental health professional to get a more authoritative opinion on the issue of what might explain your symptoms from a diagnostic perspective.

Whether you decide to visit a therapist, a psychiatrist, or some other sort of mental health professional first, I'd recommend seeing someone who you think you'd likely end up being comfortable with. If you end up seeing a therapist first, the therapist should be able to refer you to a psychiatrist if you want to see one, and I think that a psychiatrist should also be able to refer you to a therapist if your first visit to a mental health professional ends up being to a psychiatrist. But regardless as to what your first step might be as far as seeking professional help is concerned, I wish you luck in your pursuit of improved mental health. Take care.