How do you limit obsessing with people?!!

Hey everyone...

I'm having a HUGE problem that puts my whole life at risk...

My worst type of obsessions are the ones that I have toward people thinking that they're trying to tease me, anger me. When someone does/says/even looks in a way that I interpret as trying to annoy me, I feel panicked & scared from the idea that I'd keep thinking about this act/saying/look forever & ever that I won't be able to think about or do anything else!!! So my compulsion is that I have to level it out with the person, like say/do/look something annoying to her/him that my mind sizes as equal to the act done by her/him. I also tend to ask her/him several times if s/he's intending to annoy me, or why did s/he do this...

Like for example, if someone doesn't look at me while talking with me, I may interpret it as non-respecting to me, so I keep repeating things to her/him until s/he looks at me, & with a satisfying look that complies with my standards of perfection.

In explanation this seems easy, but when it happens it's so complicated, I get into details with the person that are so illogical & frustrating, & it wastes my & the other's person's energy & time. Even worse, this turns into catastrophes with people who are closer to me, & ends up with name calling & beating!!!

My whole life has been destroyed because of this, papa suffered a lot with me, my family beat me & kicked me out of the house, I don't have friends, & I'm not able to have relationships...

About a year ago, I figured a way to limit the consequences of this. I kept a journal... When I have an obsession toward a person, whether I get back at her/him after that, I write her/his name & the act in the journal, so I can say to myself that I will NOT re-open the issue or get back at her/him again (many times, after I get back at a person, my obsessions linger, & I remember or interpret other things s/he's done as being offensive against me, & that I missed them or didn't get back at her/him enough, so I go back to get back at her/him more, & then my obsessions linger more, & all is repeated endlessly!!! ). So when I writer her/him in the journal, it means this is OVER & I won't do anything more about what happened...

The journal worked almost fine with me for a whole year. I never broke what I wrote even once, when I write something, it's OVER. Except sometimes, I started to give interpretations & excuses of getting back in ways that my mind tells me it's not breaking the writing/journal. But then I figured out what my mind is doing, & kept on without ever getting back in any way after writing it off...

About some months ago, I stopped by medications. My obsessions became deathly, truly deathly, I kept obsessing about an act of someone that's very trivial for about 3 weeks continuously, & I couldn't relieve myself by calling the person, because I've written him in the journal. So after 3 weeks, I decided to break it!!! I called the guy... I said to myself, I'll start again this system of control when I go to a therapist, & s/he tells me a new better mechanism than the journal (I also have very bad perfectionist obsessions, which mean that if I break something, I can't get back to it again, because it's not perfect anymore, as I haven't adhered to it perfectly, & I have to start something else perfectly all over again!!!)...

I don't know what to do now... I don't have anything to limit my obsessions toward people, I can keep obsessing with someone forever!!! I can't return back to the journal, because I broke it. If I try to do it again with the journal, each time I write someone, I'll think "Well, I broke the writing/journal before & returned to getting back at the person, so why not break this too?!!"... So the journal now has become obsolete!!!

Do you have any ideas? Any other mechanisms I can work on to limit my obsessions toward people other than that? What mechanisms do you do guys?

Hi, If your rage is severe it seems wise to continue with medication. Also, are there any support groups you can attend? A group might be very helpful.

Thanks a lot Laurie for your suggestions

Yeah, of course I resumed my medications over a month or so ago. I'm planning to go to a psychotherapist too. But I'm thinking about finding a quick mechanism to control my obsessions with people, like a "STOP" sign? Meanwhile, until I get things going with the T.

Also, I was wondering why nobody's answering my post in the OCD & Personality Disorders subsections?! Are people afraid of me?! I had to re-post this in 3 sub-sections to get any answers...

i know sometimes my posts don't even show as i think sometimes i need to put the trigger sticker next to it. I don't know how. Sure hope you get a doc and t i am here today as they saved my life although i've had my share of quacks, not the good ones, but even they helped too.

Thanks avlady for your beautiful reply

Actually my thread's showing in the other 2 sub-sections, & I got like over 50:70 views but no single reply

I sure will go to a therapist, but until then, I need a quick trick to help me limit my obsessions with people, 'cause I'll start a new job tomorrow, & I don't want to make disasters!!!

I'm sorry that you haven't seen the response to your question that you are looking for. One thing to keep in mind is that of the several thousand users on this site, many are anomynous users who are looking through the forum and haven't signed up for an account yet, or may be users who are new and haven't posted yet, or haven't posted the minimum of 5 times for posts to go immediately live. I don't think your posts are being purposely ignored.

Per your response above you are on meds again, so I won't make that suggestion. The only thing I can think of is grounding/mindfulness techniques. They do tend to help with anxiety and it's possible it may help with your situation. It can't hurt to give it a try.

Best of luck with the new job!

Thank you reb so much for your suggestion... I'll definitely give it a try... Mindfulness would help me ease my anxiety.

But I'd also need a definitive thing that tells me to stop my compulsion. I would like to find an alternative to the "STOP" technique I used in my journal that helped me stop getting back to obsessing with a person, if anyone have a suggestion? Because I sadly broke that technique

I wonder if there is some type of mindfulness technique that would help with that. I'm prone to catastrophic thinking and sometimes it gets so bad that I just end up telling myself to stop it. That's similar in ways to what you are going through except yours is external, mine is internal. I keep looking for the answer for myself. If I find something I'll share it in case it helps you too. Hugs.

I rely upon God Almighty and His love and guidance.

Thank you so much reb & JD

To reb: I truly I wish my obsessions would be just limited to my mind & I'd spare people this torture, especially those people that (were) close to me (though of course I don't discredit the huge amount of torture you & I go through internally - pure obsessions -).

I'll also keep looking for a specific technique, & will share with you any that I find helpful. BTW, Skeezyks just shared with me in another thread this "Compassionate Abiding" technique, which I will look into:
Relieve Distress By Allowing It: Compassionate Abiding 101

To JD: My family kept telling me that too. I kept praying & trying, but it's not working. I think my OCD condition need more specific psychotherapy techniques, along with my reflection on God