I'm Having Trouble

I'm having trouble making and keeping friends. I know being alone isn't the end of the world, but I really want to connect with people. It's not natural to me, as I'm very antisocial and usually don't feel very much empathy for others. But I don't want to be that way. I am an emotional person, I just have deep trust issues with letting people close enough to see that. It's easier to push them away than it is to risk showing them everything and being rejected... A lot of the time I assume they wouldn't want to talk to someone like me anyway because I'm never good enough for anyone to stick around long enough to see a more real side of myself... I deal with the lack of meaningful friendship and social interaction by fantasizing and making art/music/writing. My novel that I'm writing is my biggest escape for sure. I guess I'm just tired of living through other means; I want to feel alive for real, like I'm having a human experience instead of this dissociated alien one...

Hello anniebudy: I'm afraid I can't comment with regard to making & keeping friends. I'm pretty-much entirely solitary... by choice. However I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

I also tend to have some trust issues, but I generally interested in other people and love to spend time with my friends. My advice would be to be genuinely interested in other people, I think it's a good start for friendship. Step by step you will see whether you can share more about yourself with the person. it might look like slow process and it really is, though it is making you closer to finding a friend

I like you have the same feelings. Some how you have been hurt over and over. This is just my opinion I'm not a doctor. I'm learning being alone is better for me because of the energy I can't put into a relationship. I constantly wonder when they will be out of my life. Which isn't worth the energy. So I learn too be in solitude.

Do you see a therapist? Many see one when they don't feel like they have the proper social skills to go out there and make friends. You also mentioned trust issues. I think that's an important thing to address.

I agree with Mickey. A good therapist could help you untangle and process these issues. Best wishes.

Hello anniebudy, I see this is your first post so welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit.