[Donutworryrelax]

Could you actually be in love with your therapist, rather than having transferred feelings from the past? Could it be more attachment-based than transference? I just feel like there are so many possible answers than only "transference".

Well I don't understand this whole transference and having feelings for a (mental) health care professional thing. My opinion is this must be a misinterpretation of professional compassion.

I suppose though there are occasions where feelings are true. But acting upon them would never be appropriate. Would doing so actually make life any easier?

[nicoleflynn]

All feelings are real...transference is just a fancy psych. word for....feelings. I have loved my t for a long time.

[DodgersMom]

I think being "in love" and "loving" are very different. I could see myself maybe some day "loving" my T but not being "in love" with them

That being said, I have no idea. I am so confused by all of this stuff, all I know is, I am doing everything I can to not get attached so I don't have to feel like I'll die on the last day I ever go

[systemfailure]

Lol I suppose it would depend on a lot of things, if their attractive, good personality, kind, welcoming. I dont think falling in love with your therapist would have to be down to a mental illness, its a natural reaction if you are attracted to their whole being.

[nicoleflynn]

Transference; just a fancy word for...feelings.

[Sunflower123]

I wouldn't think so. No matter what it's called...it would be a mistake to follow up or through on them.

Originally Posted by DodgersMom

I think being "in love" and "loving" are very different. I could see myself maybe some day "loving" my T but not being "in love" with them

That being said, I have no idea. I am so confused by all of this stuff, all I know is, I am doing everything I can to not get attached so I don't have to feel like I'll die on the last day I ever go

I am totally with you on this. I 'love' my T but am not 'in love' with him. I also have no idea about this transference malarkey.

[amandalouise]

no it is not always transference... here where I live just general in love with therapist is called attraction, attachment. if the in love with therapist is a situation where someone is actually in love with someone else but transferring that love to being the therapist then its transference....

taking it out of love for a moment so you can see what I mean... if I am angry with my wife but I instead take it out on my co worker thats transferring my anger for my wife to my co worker.

if Im angry with my wife and I let my wife know Im angry and Im not taking my anger out on anyone else thats not transference.

see what I mean .... think of transferring like an object moving that object from one person to another.

[emgreen]

I like my therapist very much, but I've been seeing her so long I know about her husband & kids, vacation plans, health issues, etc. That's perhaps not "professional" in the eyes of some, but it makes me realize that she has a happy life outside her office. Such insights make the relationship "safe" where "inappropriate" feelings are concerned. She's just a good egg.

[*Laurie*]

Transference is much more important than 'just feelings.' Transference replicates the tremendously strong emotional bond that an infant has with its caregiver. That bond is based in the survival instinct.

I believe that yes, being 'in love' with your therapist is transference.

By the way, have you seen the Therapy board on PC...there is a specific board called Romantic Feelings for My Therapist.

[guilloche]

I think the problem with "being in love" with your therapist is that... if your therapist is doing their job correctly, you don't actually know the whole, 3-dimensional person. You see the *best* of their personality: somebody who cares, who doesn't lash out in anger, who is gentle, patient, and welcoming, and who helps keep the focus on you, rather than them.

It's not a 2-way relationship. The therapist isn't getting help or support from you, shouldn't be sharing their current issues and struggles, should be processing their own things.

So, you only see one part of the therapist. The part that is probably the most lovable! (Who wouldn't love someone that is kind, caring, patient, gentle, interested in understanding them, advocates for their best interests, and generally always focuses on them?!)

It's a little like loving a movie star. You don't really know them well enough to love them, you love the tiny sliver that you see.