[GlitterWolf]

I don't know what its like to be in love with someone. I don't know what it feels like to have someone being in love with me. I've never been in a romantic or serious true love before, ever. I'm 43. I must be pretty ugly then. Or just cold blooded. Why can some people go through life never been loved by someone?

It isn't just romantic love that is so alien to me. I'm not loved as a person either. No one cares about me. My relatives don't like me and have cut me out of their lives so long ago. Only my 10 year old loves me. That's all the love I know and have.

I'm not human. I can't be. I must be the living dead.

[Tazwert]

I don't think it is alien to you, nor are you the living dead.

I have often felt like I don't belong in this world; that no one will ever understand me or care about me or like me. The only thing that I can figure out about it is that it must be walls, boundaries and/or distance created by healing of my emotional wounds. It is emotional scar tissue. The scar tissue created by the healing of emotional wounds. The worst part for me is that I have worked for decades getting around the scar tissue involving how I feel about myself. I never know if I am hurting or healing myself because of it.

I hope this helps.

[Thunder Bow]

Maybe it is just as well that your relatives cut you out. You are lucky to have your child's love. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

[Sunflower123]

You love your child and your child loves you. That's a huge and precious thing. If your family cut you off, you may be better off without them. They could be toxic to you. Are you putting yourself out there as far as romance and friendships? Don't give up. My mom just turned 82 and is newly engaged. Hang in there. Sending big hugs.