[ChippDamage]

Hi everyone,

I recently had an episode of anger against my mother and enough is enough. I want to get some sort of diagnosis so I can at least know where I can take this if it's as serious as I think it is. I just want to know what exactly this is.

I experience on some occasions (maybe 4 to 5 months on average) this sudden anger that comes about when someone triggers it based on what they say to me, or if it's a back and forth argument. It comes about as blind fury in less than a second, where I end up yelling at the top of my lungs towards that person. I almost get physically violent to get them to understand me. On a normal basis, I'm very introverted and avoid confrontation like the plague. I'm literally the opposite of this person I become. The only thing that felt similar to it was when the doctors misdiagnosed me with ADD and gave me Adderall as a kid and I would get furious at the most minor things.

To give a little more context on my life, my mother has always kept me sheltered and has been over protective of me. As others have admonished to me, she's a control freak. I can't seem to gain my independence without her getting in the way and controlling my life and choices. When I try to take control, she puts me in my place. She is very confrontational and always has to yell and argue with anyone even if she's wrong. She has trouble maintaining friendships because of this, including trying to control them. even my father seems to not love her anymore because of her argumentative ways and avoids her. Basically, she is obsessed with being right, rather than resolving the argument. Other than that, I mostly get angry playing video games when things get frustrating, but never towards any person or stranger, I'm always weak and apologetic, even if they were in the wrong. Most people would say I have very little confidence in myself and capabilities but I try harder every day to be more certain of myself. My girlfriend always inspires me to be strong and it helps.

As for the argument, it was about something that started as a conversation and had nothing targeted towards her, but she took it personally and started blaming me for something that wasn't even the point of the conversation. The fact that she doesn't even listen to my reasoning and continue to accuse me about being wrong and how she's right.

In case you're wondering I get violent with my environment such as throwing things around and punching walls, I never got physical with her but I'm afraid that it may lead to that one day. After writing all this down, I'm certain this is very serious but I can only know for certain on what to do based on your feedback. I'm sorry if I rambled a bit, I was hoping it gave enough to understand.

[Sunflower123]

Hello. Welcome to PC. A therapist could really help you learn to manage your angry. A psychiatric evaluation might also be a good thing. Best wishes

I had a very similar upbringing/issue with my life. The only difference for me was that my mother had me doped up on 8-10 different psychiatric medications that I didn't need all to try to control me and she would use the mental health system to have me locked up as a way of "punishing" me for defying her. I had a lot of explosive anger issues too where I would get angry and throw fits or lash out at people or even punch and bite myself out of pure anger because my mother wouldn't let me be a normal kid at all. I wasn't allowed to make friends or be normal in any shape of the word. The only happiness that I had as a child was my computer and books. If mother tried to take either of those things away, well let's just say I would get so angry that the cops had to be called in to restrain and handcuff me because I would get physically violent because I had nothing else to do and nothing else made me happy since my mother wouldn't let me leave the house to make friends or play outside at all.

With that being said, I mellowed out a lot since getting away from my mother and moving out on my own. Now, my anger issues don't interfere with my life too much; as long as people don't try to control me in a major way or become a threat to my well being, I am calm around people.

My best advice that I can give you, which has my own life as evidence to back up my claim's credibility, is to get away from your mother ASAP. She won't ever change and people like her have absolutely zero business having children. If you're under 18, seek therapy and try to gradually work your way out of her grasp. As long as you're over 13, you can legally attend a therapy session on your own without needing your mother's consent.

Do whatever it takes to get away from her. Once you do, I promise that the anger issues will gradually dissipate.

Best of wishes.

[reb569]

I agree with Darkness here. I would work on getting independent from your mother as soon as you can. Once you are independent from her you will probably find the anger response lessening, but it may take awhile.

I'm sorry that you have been going through this. I went through something similar to this with my father.

[ChippDamage]

Thank you so much everyone, this definitely has given me much needed assurance that I needed to hear and confirm my presumptions. Of course I'm partially to blame because I'm aware that I'm perpetuating these fights by lingering here.

As for the therapy, I'm considering this whether I achieve my independence or not. Thanks so much once again everyone. The support is really impactful!

Originally Posted by ChippDamage

Thank you so much everyone, this definitely has given me much needed assurance that I needed to hear and confirm my presumptions. Of course I'm partially to blame because I'm aware that I'm perpetuating these fights by lingering here.

As for the therapy, I'm considering this whether I achieve my independence or not. Thanks so much once again everyone. The support is really impactful!

You're never to blame for her problems. Your outbursts are only natural because she is a threat to your well being, happiness, and freedom.

Stand up for yourself and get away from her. I only wish that I had the courage to do the same thing before my mother passed away. I would have loved to pack my stuff up and drive away will giving her the middle finger and telling her how much I hate her for what she put me through. Unfortunately, I was a coward who was scared to death of her.

So take control of your own life and stop worrying about who's fault something is and don't feel guilty for leaving her; these are what she wants you to feel so that she can control you. Get away and get your much deserved fresh start.

It will be better once you do.

[winter loneliness]

I agree with everyone else. Leave and get control of your anger issues. You don't want to take out you anger on any future GFs or your wife.

[Medusax]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

I had a very similar upbringing/issue with my life. The only difference for me was that my mother had me doped up on 8-10 different psychiatric medications that I didn't need all to try to control me and she would use the mental health system to have me locked up as a way of "punishing" me for defying her. I had a lot of explosive anger issues too where I would get angry and throw fits or lash out at people or even punch and bite myself out of pure anger because my mother wouldn't let me be a normal kid at all. I wasn't allowed to make friends or be normal in any shape of the word. The only happiness that I had as a child was my computer and books. If mother tried to take either of those things away, well let's just say I would get so angry that the cops had to be called in to restrain and handcuff me because I would get physically violent because I had nothing else to do and nothing else made me happy since my mother wouldn't let me leave the house to make friends or play outside at all.

With that being said, I mellowed out a lot since getting away from my mother and moving out on my own. Now, my anger issues don't interfere with my life too much; as long as people don't try to control me in a major way or become a threat to my well being, I am calm around people.

My best advice that I can give you, which has my own life as evidence to back up my claim's credibility, is to get away from your mother ASAP. She won't ever change and people like her have absolutely zero business having children. If you're under 18, seek therapy and try to gradually work your way out of her grasp. As long as you're over 13, you can legally attend a therapy session on your own without needing your mother's consent.

Do whatever it takes to get away from her. Once you do, I promise that the anger issues will gradually dissipate.

Best of wishes.

My parents were like that..just more subtle..if that makes sense. It would take a whole page to explain.