[sera2775]

Hi
I'm a 42 year old male who uses a pair of underwear - my own - when I am alone. I don't use it for sexual release, but find threading it through my fingers is pleasant, soft and cool.
I had a small piece of lambs wool when I was a young child, like many small children, but at some stage must've stopped with it.
I have used the underwear for many years now and have spoken to therapist about it. My opinion is that it doesn't impact negatively on others - I keep it a secret - and if it helps me cope with anxiety, then it is okay.
I don't think it is perverse, just something I do to assist myself.

I would like to stop doing it when (or if!!) I have a girlfriend or wife.

Interested in opinions, experiences, etc.
Thanks
Nick

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by sera2775

Hi
I'm a 42 year old male who uses a pair of underwear - my own - when I am alone. I don't use it for sexual release, but find threading it through my fingers is pleasant, soft and cool.
I had a small piece of lambs wool when I was a young child, like many small children, but at some stage must've stopped with it.
I have used the underwear for many years now and have spoken to therapist about it. My opinion is that it doesn't impact negatively on others - I keep it a secret - and if it helps me cope with anxiety, then it is okay.
I don't think it is perverse, just something I do to assist myself.

I would like to stop doing it when (or if!!) I have a girlfriend or wife.

Interested in opinions, experiences, etc.
Thanks
Nick

I too have various security items. I am an adult female. one of mine used to be my very first Bra. I outgrew it physically before it wore out so I kept it. my family didnt think it was strange but did require it remain in the bedroom, one of my siblings during a school class took the time to locate the same fabrics/ items in multi colors and made me a blanket out of it and the new like fabrics. I still have it and use it today. I am married. my wife knows where I got this blanket and what its beginnings were. one of my children has a blanket made by their aunt in the same fabrics / items and in many colors as the potty training pants, he used to carry around. that blanket is well traveled and cared for. my sibling is in the process of making a blanket out of the cloth bodies of worn out glow worms (toy light up doll for toddlers) for another one of my children for christmas.

[Thunder Bow]

Seems normal to me, nothing to be ashamed of.

[Shazerac]

Many people keep items in their pocket to comfort or calm themselves, rabbits feet, worry stones, crystals, small stuffed animals. I don't think there is anything to be embarrassed about,

[~Christina]

I also see nothing wrong with this. It's a comfort.

[sera2775]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

Seems normal to me, nothing to be ashamed of.

I don't know if I am ashamed of it; more concerned/worried about other's reactions.

Also, I eventually would like not have to 'rely' on it for comfort and calming my anxiety, perhaps substitute for something else, like exercise or meditation, etc.

I see this as a progression of myself as I can progress from an external to a stronger internal support mechanism.

thanks for reply

[sera2775]

thanks for all responses,

don't know if i'm ashamed. part is embarrassment to others', but at same time, their is no need to tell anyone until I'm in a serious relationship (one day, i hope).

But also for me, a measure that I can move on to other supports which may help - exercise, meditation, yoga, etc. - and also, develop my self-belief/esteem/development that I don't need to.

cheers
nick

[Thunder Bow]

Both can apply. Often a stuffed animal or just the feel of a fabric can represent a part of yourself in real life. Having it keeps you in touch with that part of yourself. It is the feelings that matter. Soft feelings are important in life.