[livingonathinline]

i just cant get over them. I have never been as close to anyone as my ex and my therapist and i used to latch on to everything that came out of my exes mouth. I just couldn't help it. If she woke up in the morning and looked sleepy or didn't smell perfect, i would be really uncomfortable for a whole month. I realised that i have been doing this for all my life, only when i got into therapy. My previous therapists have not been of much help as i have only recently begun understanding myself. It is so painful for me to be close to someone that i wish that i had never met my T.

The other day, my T made a mistake in english grammar. English is our second language and i just couldn't get over it. Immediately the worst scenarios started coming to my mind. What if my T didn't really understand what i was saying in english, which obviously is not the case. What if she doesnt like me. I keep asking her if she hates me or if she will leave me. Life is so tiring.

This is definitely an issue - everyone makes mistakes and that is a part of life. If you are not able to handle that it will be difficult to get through day to day life. You make mistakes too, I'm sure. Do you dwell as much on the mistakes you make as well, or just the ones others make?

[livingonathinline]

God forbid if i make a mistake. I just cant get over it,
I abuse myself and hit myself. Now, after some help, i have stopped the hitting part but it still takes me a week or even a month in some cases,
to forgive myself

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

This is definitely an issue - everyone makes mistakes and that is a part of life. If you are not able to handle that it will be difficult to get through day to day life. You make mistakes too, I'm sure. Do you dwell as much on the mistakes you make as well, or just the ones others make?

Originally Posted by livingonathinline

God forbid if i make a mistake. I just cant get over it,
I abuse myself and hit myself. Now, after some help, i have stopped the hitting part but it still takes me a week or even a month in some cases,
to forgive myself

Have you ever been evaluated by a psychiatrist? Do you have any diagnoses?

[Javajer]

I can relate as I also focus on loved ones flaws. It is impulsive for me. I attack before even thinking about it

[winter loneliness]

A kind of Narcissism?

[livingonathinline]

bipolar by some. borderline by others

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

Have you ever been evaluated by a psychiatrist? Do you have any diagnoses?

I myself hang on the imperfections of others. The irritation would be strong and at times I would get so wound up about it. People close to me would tell me I am taking things far too seriously. I do, I admit. It matters to me because it ought to matter to everyone. CBT has helped a great deal but it still occurs.

For instance, someone close to me just can't be bothered to line up their cutlery on their plate to signal they are finished eating (isn't this a universal rule of etiquette?) and it really winds me up. I spend the whole evening thinking about it and yes, it gives me a bad impression about their character. If they are so lazy and uncouth as to not be bothered to do it, what else can't they be bothered to do? Can I rely on this person? It eats away at me.

[pegasus]

So, you expect yourself to be perfect and everyone else to be perfect at all times too. This sounds like something from childhood and therapy would be a good idea in learning that you are human and others are too and we all make mistakes. Continue with the therapy, you'll get to a point where you won't feel this bad.

[avlady]

yes i also say to continue your therapy