[vzz79611]

I don't know what's going on with me. I recently got off Zoloft, which was the worst thing in the world. I was having terrible withdrawals, and I actually thought I was going to die. I guess I thought after I finished with that, everything would be better, but it's not.

I've been having really bad mood swings for no reason. I go from irritable and/or suicidal to absolutely happy and productive. I feel like there's no future for me, and every day, I wish I were dead. I snap at people, and I feel horrible. I just can't control it. Sometimes, I sleep very little and feel amazing, and other times, I need at least eight hours.

The irritability is one of the worst. One moment, I'll be happy and warm, and the next, I'm thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend or I'm yelling at my parents. I'm in college already. Shouldn't this moodiness be done?

I've also stolen before, which is one thing worse than the irritability. I started about a year ago, when I was on a different medication entirely. Medication doesn't seem to have an effect on the theft. I don't do it often. I've probably done it three or four times, but that's too many.

I feel like I have no control, and I want to get help. How do I do that? I've tried several therapists and psychiatrists. I'm thinking about going to a specialist who knows what I'm actually dealing with, but I have no idea what my problem is.

I want to get better, but how?

[pegasus]

Hi and welcome to Psych Central! I really think it's about finding the right fit with the psychiatrist and therapist. You need to feel that you can share everything with your mental health team and that can make all the difference. You are being pro active, joining this forum will help also. You'll find lots of ideas and support here. Research on the internet. Take some of the quizzes here, they don't diagnose but you might get more of an idea of what is going on. https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/

[8Loop]

You ask how to get better and I think you are well on your way. 1. You are able to name and recognize your emotional state, mental state and behaviors that you find bothersome. 2. You have already taken initiative by joining PsychC. There are so many resources to use here and people going though similar things. 3. You know what you want to do next - find a therapist/ therapy team/ specialist. Kudos!
Reading your story sounds very familiar to mine when I was in College. I was going on and off different meds for depression & anxiety while in school and became incredibly overwhelmed. You are very smart to recognize that you need continued help from a therapist. I suggest you set up some initial meet and greet appointments as soon as you can while you have the energy to do so. I find looking for one using the Psychology Today website is the most convent option.
One step at a time, you got this!

[mote.of.soul]

Maybe try reading some self help books or online things as well. Just begin by making small changes. It'll be okay.

[Thunder Bow]

There is no quick fix. Dedicate yourself to your own healing. Healing takes much time.

I agree that you have already made a step to recovery. So much of doing so is realising one's illness, and the effects it has on one's life.

Environment has a lot to do with our mental health too. I myself am better than I have been in sometime and a great part of that stems from the fact things are in a good state right now. Look around you and see what is within your control of improving. Maybe it is your relationship, maybe it is the place you live, maybe it is finding a hobby to make you happy, or maybe it is a situation (volunteering?) that makes you feel you are contributing. If we can lessen even one worry that is a step in the right direction to achieve a measure of recovery. Find something that will make you feel better about yourself.

[vzz79611]

Originally Posted by 8Loop

You ask how to get better and I think you are well on your way. 1. You are able to name and recognize your emotional state, mental state and behaviors that you find bothersome. 2. You have already taken initiative by joining PsychC. There are so many resources to use here and people going though similar things. 3. You know what you want to do next - find a therapist/ therapy team/ specialist. Kudos!
Reading your story sounds very familiar to mine when I was in College. I was going on and off different meds for depression & anxiety while in school and became incredibly overwhelmed. You are very smart to recognize that you need continued help from a therapist. I suggest you set up some initial meet and greet appointments as soon as you can while you have the energy to do so. I find looking for one using the Psychology Today website is the most convent option.
One step at a time, you got this!

Hey, so I haven't posted enough yet to reply, but I did get your message, and I wanted to update everyone who helped me.

Thank you so much for checking in. I'm going to start counseling again this week, and it really is thanks to this forum. It'll hopefully give me some answers.

Thank you. Seriously. I really appreciate it.

[alex84]

Changing/working on ourselves is one of the hardest things we can do. This is why so many people with depression/anxiety/etc don't seek out help. They actually get comfortable in depression. Depression becomes familiar and the idea of trying to live any other way seems impossible. Try to shake things up in their environment first, then change seems more manageable. For example, rearranging furniture in their home or bedroom. Suddenly you're not looking at things in your home the same way, and the idea of making other, more internal changes may come easier to you.

[Anxious me]

I take 100mg zoloft/sertraline daily at the moment and my psychiatrist wants me to up dose to 150mg I don't want to personally but my anxiety is getting worse and out of control, I had some dizzy spells starting up on this medication, I've been on it a few years now and I'm dreading coming off it now..

How long was you on the zoloft for?

[vzz79611]

Originally Posted by Anxious me

I take 100mg zoloft/sertraline daily at the moment and my psychiatrist wants me to up dose to 150mg I don't want to personally but my anxiety is getting worse and out of control, I had some dizzy spells starting up on this medication, I've been on it a few years now and I'm dreading coming off it now..

How long was you on the zoloft for?

I was actually only on it for about four months, I think? But it's important to note that I'm highly reactive to medications.