[Yellowhotelroom]

I was a victim of csa, but I don’t really remember what happened, just bits and pieces. Anyway, I absolutely lose it when people grab me suddenly, no matter who they are. One time at work a co-worker came up to me and grabbed my hands and was trying to pop them. I knew he was joking, but I was freaking out. Afterwards, I cried. On another occasion, a family member grabbed my wrists and pushed me. Once again, I freaked out and cried. If anyone so much as grabs my hands/wrists even just to lead me somewhere, I freak out. I don’t know how to get past this.

I don't believe it is for you to get past this as much as it is for people to respect boundaries. I think it totally inappropriate for such a thing. I have my own issues with being touched and have had to ask people, no TELL, not to touch me without asking. Is it possible to simply speak up and ask them to show you where they are directing you instead?

[healingme4me]

I'm not sure that being grabbed by the wrists and pushed is something that's in need of being worked on by you? Nor is a hand grab in the workplace.

Boundaries do matter, at the same time, most will come to recognize the skittishness that comes from a natural subconscious recoil that speaks volumes to a need to have personal space respected. Or maybe it's my own personal experience talking that I realize after the fact that my own anxiety creates that boundary? I'm the jumpy/recoiling type when my personal space is invaded without invitation, so to speak.

[Taylor27]

I think people need to respect your boundaries. I too have a issue with being touched. I have also been CSA and rape. I get panic attacks easy when people that are not close to me touch me without asking me. I don't think you need to work on this unless you want to. We have a right to personal boundaries and it need to be respected.

[*Laurie*]

csa or not, I would not like to be grabbed by someone. It's a natural reaction for most people to recoil. I have a dear friend for many decades, a lovely, kind-hearted woman. She's very vivacious and she sometimes runs up behind me and covers my eyes with her hands while laughing joyfully. I love her dearly, but I hate when she does that, always have.

((((hugs)))))

I am very sorry for your abuse...

[eskielover]

I understand how you feel & with or without a history of csa, if someone grabbed me by the wrists & pushed me, they would be the ones regretting it.

Maybe even if you don't use it, a self defense class might be helpful if norhing more than to give yourself the self-confidence that you do know how to handle a bad situation if it would happen again. Self-defense is a powerful tool

[Travelinglady]

That might freak me out, too, and I was not abused in a physical way.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Yellowhotelroom: I believe this was your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you're finding PC to be of benefit.

As other members, here on PC, have noted, there is perhaps a sense in which the experiences you described in your post can be viewed as unwarranted invasions of your personal space or, to put it another way, as violations of your personal boundaries. And from that perspective, learning how to establsih & defend your personal boundaries may be worthwhile. Here are links to 4 videos, from PsychCentral's archives, on that subject:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-ar...do-i-get-some/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-...er-boundaries/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-tips...aries-at-work/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways...ficult-people/

However, I think the greater issue here may be what is causing you to "freak out" when someone grabs you. Granted people shouldn't be grabbing you to begin with. But if having someone do so is causing you to freak out, perhaps this is a sign there is more to this than personal boundaries? And given that you mentioned you are a CSA survivor, it may be that the way you are reacting is tied to that. Here are links to 2 articles that focus on the effects of CSA, as well other forms of trauma, on adults:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-ch...relationships/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/underst...disorder-ptsd/

You mentioned you only remember bits & pieces of what happened to you. It may be that the answer here lies with exploring that, at-length & in-depth, with the help of an experienced therapist. I wish you well...

[Medusax]

I let out a loud, high pitched squeal when grabbed, which I hate...but it just happens. Naturally... co-workers do it to me because they think it is funny. The sound doesn't match my persona. Doesn't "freak" me out, but it does annoy me.