[serhodes]

My wife was recently diagnosed with Bipolar Type 1 Disorder with Psychotic Features. She became completely delusional. She thought that I was friends with Donald Trump and got him to send federal agents to find her so that I could put a microchip in her brain to control her mind. She ended up in the psychiatric ward and got diagnosed, and she has been released. But she still doesn't trust me.

She also had a manic depressive episode after giving birth to our son. It lasted his entire first year, and I think she experienced some kind of delusion that made her not trust me. Even after she recovered, I think her rational mind knew that I was a good husband and good father, but there was always something there that caused her not to trust me.

So my question is this....after you have experienced a delusion, especially one that involves someone close to you that you believe may be harming you in some way, after you recover do you realize that it is not real? Do you still hold a grudge against the person that you felt was harming you, or do you realize that it was your imagination and that the person has not done anything to you?

[Yaowen]

Dear serhodes,

I am so sorry this happened to you and is happening to you. I'm also sorry that these things afflict your wife. The whole thing sounds so heartbreaking. Unfortunately I do not have any first hand experience with Bipolar1 with Psychotic Features. I do believe, however that there are many members here who have experience with this illness or with someone afflicted with it. If I knew something that could be helpful to you I would definitely share it with you since the situation you are in seems so distressing and demoralizing. I think you a very heroic person.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[*Beth*]

It sounds like you and your wife have been through a very challenging time.

I also have BD1. I cannot recall feeling paranoid about a real person in my life. I have had episodes of paranoia about Nazis kidnapping loved ones. When my meds were adjusted and I worked through my fear in therapy the delusional thoughts met reality and mostly disappeared. But I can remember them. Remembering them makes them seem more real....sort-of like a "weakened delusion."

Maybe your wife has a remnant of her paranoid belief.

[serhodes]

Thank you Beth. That is very helpful.

[princesscookie19]

Yes all the time I keep thinking the girl in her room starts to scream out my name and mone out my name and I just go out for a cigarette and forget about it. I told the staff but they kept saying that there are cameras in that end of the house that even if she did she would be caught on CCTV so ya..

[TheOptimisticArtist]

Big empathy to you Serhodes! I am personally not Bi-Polar but I used to work for an artist who was! And she was not good about taking her meds. She had an episode one time, became delusional, totally lost all rationale, and had to go to the hospital. She was talking to the pictures on the wall and throwing things at me. When I saw her again she acted like nothing had even occurred. So as far as I can tell... I think over time she knew it was not not real. To what degree I cannot be sure. But she acted like it didn't even happen and she greeted me with kindness. So I would imagine there is no grudge and that it dissolves within time.