[little*rhino]

i've been reading, collecting and reciting a lot of positive quotes, ideas, etc etc lately, at my T's urging. i get it, i do. And, like a good rhino i deligently keep at it. However, i can't resist the underbelly of it now and then... and it's good to stop being rigidly positive and laugh your fanny off. i just can't be "good" all the time.

i was enjoying the thread about positive quotes (very useful!) but i saw the one about life giving lemons and i remembered the Happy Bunny one instead and i was laughing so hard i had tears. My anxiety and phobia workbook says that pleasure is an antidote to stress... and so, i figure it should be shared, just like the positive quote thread.

the idea is to share the twists of the classic inspirational phrase... like Happy Bunny - "When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in your enemy's eye"

"There are no stupid questions, but there sure are a lot of inquisative idiots"

keep it reasonable, clean and kind... it's meant to be a gentle laugh and nothing mean.

sometimes being mentally healthier can be summed up in the same sort of perspective my T said he has about going to the gymn (when i had just given him cake) - "I go to the gymn so that I CAN eat cake." Be positive, seek positives and give positives, but every now and then... go for the laugh instead.

cheers

[lynn P.]

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

[Junerain]

How about-- "Learn from your parent's mistakes......use birth control!"

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

[Perna]

There's a lot of teeshirts/sweatshirts I like like that:

I hate it when my cat thinks outside the box.

Better management through finger pointing.

Everything I say is fully substantiated by my own opinion.

Exercise your right to be lazy!

I only do what the voices in my wife's head tell her to tell me to do.

I'm sick of political ads and I approved this message.

The dog ate my lesson plan (for a teacher)

No one ever suspects the short ones.

Patience is a virtue but flipping someone off feels better.

My life is loosely based on a true story.

Legally Bland

All that twitters is not gold

Can't complain. . . but I still do

National Sarcasm Society
Like we need your support

A fountain of useless information

If it weren't for crazy I'd never go anywhere

I can read in the dark because I went to night school

I came, I saw, I capitulated

A star in many police chase videos

It must be tough dancing without your organ grinder

Probably don't recognize me without my cape

My garage needs me now. The least I can do is be there for it.

Reality. TV. Two reasons why I read.

If today is the present, I hope someone kept the receipt.

I'm not aging I'm fermenting.

Multitasking: The art of messing up several things at once

[Perna]

I believe in making sacrifices
Can I begin with you?

[eskielover]

Ok, now you're talking....my kind of sayings...lol.
~Towering genius disdains a beaten path.~Abraham Lincoln

~Opportunity is missed by most people
because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.~Thomas Edison

~Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do.


~Are you thinking what I'm thinking that I think that you're thinking I'm thinking because if you think that I think what I think I'm thinking then we've got a problem?

~A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

~Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

~A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

~I like work, It fascinates me! I can sit and look at it for hours.

~Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

~People are seldom too busy to stop and tell you how busy they are.

~Before you insult somebody you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you insult them you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!

[Junerain]

I wish to mean to you..but I won't....it's 'be kind to animals' week

[lynn P.]

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

[Perna]

I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

[lynn P.]

• Don’t sweat petty things or pet sweaty things.
• Shin: A device for finding furniture.

[Perna]

"If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.” ~Groucho Marx

[lynn P.]

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.

[little*rhino]

wowza, this took off fast! SO awesome guys... i'm almost in tears laughing.

~If you can be part of the solution there is money to be made prolonging the problem.~

It's always darkest before it goes pitch black.

You're still talking and i'm not listening, how weird is that?

[Amanda_1981]

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you"

[lynn P.]

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Who was he referring to?

[lynn P.]

• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
• Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston Churchill (about Clement Attlee)