positively sarcasm

i've been reading, collecting and reciting a lot of positive quotes, ideas, etc etc lately, at my T's urging. i get it, i do. And, like a good rhino i deligently keep at it. However, i can't resist the underbelly of it now and then... and it's good to stop being rigidly positive and laugh your fanny off. i just can't be "good" all the time.

i was enjoying the thread about positive quotes (very useful!) but i saw the one about life giving lemons and i remembered the Happy Bunny one instead and i was laughing so hard i had tears. My anxiety and phobia workbook says that pleasure is an antidote to stress... and so, i figure it should be shared, just like the positive quote thread.

the idea is to share the twists of the classic inspirational phrase... like Happy Bunny - "When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in your enemy's eye"

"There are no stupid questions, but there sure are a lot of inquisative idiots"

keep it reasonable, clean and kind... it's meant to be a gentle laugh and nothing mean.

sometimes being mentally healthier can be summed up in the same sort of perspective my T said he has about going to the gymn (when i had just given him cake) - "I go to the gymn so that I CAN eat cake." Be positive, seek positives and give positives, but every now and then... go for the laugh instead.

cheers

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

How about-- "Learn from your parent's mistakes......use birth control!"

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

There's a lot of teeshirts/sweatshirts I like like that:

I hate it when my cat thinks outside the box.

Better management through finger pointing.

Everything I say is fully substantiated by my own opinion.

Exercise your right to be lazy!

I only do what the voices in my wife's head tell her to tell me to do.

I'm sick of political ads and I approved this message.

The dog ate my lesson plan (for a teacher)

No one ever suspects the short ones.

Patience is a virtue but flipping someone off feels better.

My life is loosely based on a true story.

Legally Bland

All that twitters is not gold

Can't complain. . . but I still do

National Sarcasm Society
Like we need your support

A fountain of useless information

If it weren't for crazy I'd never go anywhere

I can read in the dark because I went to night school

I came, I saw, I capitulated

A star in many police chase videos

It must be tough dancing without your organ grinder

Probably don't recognize me without my cape

My garage needs me now. The least I can do is be there for it.

Reality. TV. Two reasons why I read.

If today is the present, I hope someone kept the receipt.

I'm not aging I'm fermenting.

Multitasking: The art of messing up several things at once

I believe in making sacrifices
Can I begin with you?

Ok, now you're talking....my kind of sayings...lol.
~Towering genius disdains a beaten path.~Abraham Lincoln

~Opportunity is missed by most people
because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.~Thomas Edison

~Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do.


~Are you thinking what I'm thinking that I think that you're thinking I'm thinking because if you think that I think what I think I'm thinking then we've got a problem?

~A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

~Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

~A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

~I like work, It fascinates me! I can sit and look at it for hours.

~Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

~People are seldom too busy to stop and tell you how busy they are.

~Before you insult somebody you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you insult them you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!

I wish to mean to you..but I won't....it's 'be kind to animals' week

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

• Don’t sweat petty things or pet sweaty things.
• Shin: A device for finding furniture.

"If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.” ~Groucho Marx

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.

wowza, this took off fast! SO awesome guys... i'm almost in tears laughing.

~If you can be part of the solution there is money to be made prolonging the problem.~

It's always darkest before it goes pitch black.

You're still talking and i'm not listening, how weird is that?

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you"

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Who was he referring to?

• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
• Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston Churchill (about Clement Attlee)