Rant about cleaning and organization

(Deep breath.)

OK. For me, organization does not come easily. I had to work hard to learn those skills. The act of putting a few things where they belong, so I don't have to waste time looking for them next time, comes at a tremendous price in brain strain.

So I would really appreciate it if, the next time I went to use something, it would STILL BE WHERE I PUT IT LAST! But unless I live alone in a house, it never is. And I am getting just darn sick of still having to hunt for things even though I have been very careful to put them where they belong. I am tired of opening a cabinet or drawer I have recently exhausted my mental capacity organizing, carefully sorting objects into containers and placing them thoughtfully near where they are used, only to find that the drawer or cabinet is so quickly cluttered *again* from people just mindlessly throwing random things in there. All that work for nothing. News flash: just because something is out of sight does not mean it is put away! I am tired of getting ready to take a shower only to find that, again today, there are no clean towels when I just hung fresh towels up YESTERDAY. I am tired of constantly clearing off every horizontal surface in the house, only to find that the next day they are again piled high with dirty dishes, hats, jackets, belts, and junk mail. I am tired of those hats, jackets, and belts not being up on hooks, and the shoes not being on a rack I placed near the front door just for that purpose. But no, instead shoes end up in the middle of the living room floor. It seems no one really cares but me.

It is not that I am a compulsive neat freak. I have to have minimalist decor and a high level of organization because without it, I become visually overstimulated and cannot function. In an environment with even a little bit of random clutter, I can't do anything but stand there and say "duuuuuh" while I leave my OWN things out, because I am mentally short-circuited and don't have the brain power to think about where my things belong. Every time I put something away, it requires total alertness and full intellectual engagement on my part. I cannot do it automatically. It does not come naturally to me. It has taken me years to come to the point where I can even think logically enough to keep a home looking reasonable. Then I put forth the supreme effort it takes, only to have it sabotaged by people who couldn't care less where something is, as long as the place doesn't look like something you'd see on Hoarders.

You would see a parallel among drug addicts. Just as they cannot use only a little, but must abstain completely or else they are off and running, I cannot function in just a little bit of clutter. Either everything is organized, or because I can't think properly, in short order everything is total chaos. There is no such thing as a clutter level I can work with, just as for an addict there is no safe level of substance abuse.

I have tried and tried to explain to people why this is a problem for me. Why isn't anyone listening?

End of rant. Thank you for the space.

people tend only to care about themselves.

You are different than them, so they would have to conform to your standards, which is different than their standards...

Must be hard. :/

Your rant is my rant! I live with three boys and for the love of god, if they would just once clean after themselves, I think I'd rather a breakdown from the shock. We've lived together almost a year and they have NEVER cleaned the bathroom. They never cook or tidy. Apparently I have the word "slave" imprinted on my forehead.

So rant away, I'm totally with you on this one!!

Same goes in some degree in my household. My two men couldn't care less, and for me organizing and cleaning *does* come easily and naturally, so I totally sympathize!

Adding to my frustration: we are moving, which is ALWAYS a chaotic situation. My daughter is taking ownership of the home we are vacating, and her heart wants to help me, but her brain suffers from the same distractibility and easy visual overstimulation that mine does. Furthermore, she thinks that having things left out on the counter top is OK, even if it's hair ornaments, packaging tape, a plastic produce bag full of mixed nuts, a bus schedule, and a Reader's Digest all in one place, as long as it's piled neatly. She hasn't quite learned those organization skills yet, and I didn't learn them soon enough to teach her. (My other daughter has a much easier time with neatness and organization coming naturally to her, but she is hardly in a position to help because of school, a job, and two small children of which she is a single mother.)

Mike doesn't care whether these things get done or not; as long as the dishes and laundry aren't behind, there are places to sit, enough paths through the room, and nothing is drawing flies, he doesn't see a problem. He thinks we don't even need to pack, since we're only moving a mile away. He says when the time comes, we should just throw things in the car and start hauling them over there. But from my viewpoint, that's just going to create further chaos on the other end. I don't want anything leaving this house that hasn't been dusted if necessary, then clearly marked for where it's going to go in the new house. And I DON'T want to be drowning in piles of random clutter for weeks.

This is going to have me totally on edge for a while.

Here's a tip that might help: keep things that you use more often than not to yourself. Create a lockable drawer or cabinet to keep them in (allow others to have their own stuff wherever they happen to put them) buy your own supplies, or take what's in the house and make them buy theirs?

As for clothes, if the people are old enough to know better (such as 3 years and up) then warn them that you want them hung up upon arrival home or else. Give them one last warning. Maybe put it in writing on the fridge.

Then, decide what you wish with the items... I "threatened my sons" with the same type of thing when they refused to pick up the clothes in their rooms. They were quite young, 3rd grade etc... so after warning them, I picked up their rooms while they were at school and put them into the trunk of the car. I allowed them to buy back items. When one refused to repurchase it, I allowed the brother to buy it and own it. (Obviously it was for pennies on the dollar.) They quickly bought the clothes they wanted. I didn't have any more trouble until the mid teen years. Story follows.

I warned them, to no avail. The next day, upon arrival of the school bus with all their neighborhood friends on board, the scene was one of all their clothes that had been on the floors strewed across the front yard. I never had that trouble again.

Quit being angry and take action. They need to learn this or it might cause a future divorce! Seriously!