Checking in ( How do you feel today)?

I feel a bit crap because I know another day of being unappreciated at work awaits tomorrow

I went for a walk to up my mood and instead, the walk just enabled my thoughts to roll ahead full force into depressing, and defeated patterns. I was better off coming back home and watching sitcoms to distract me.

Today was decent. Didn't get lost in the headspace but I did drink too much coffee. Feeling a little cracked out now.

I feel BULLIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today and yesterday Crew

Struggling with feelings of not belonging and binging.

Not great. I have a headache and am dreading going in to work (oh wait! Oopppss, i love my job, i love my job...)

Ho hum....

Right now, I feel great! Just came from my first day of training on the new job. I go in tomorrow, 7 am, for my first in-store training. I can't wait! I'm so excited! First paycheck on the 18th! YES! Contribution! I'm just hoping I can keep this mood going for the rest of the day.. I doubt it, as my girlfriend/exgirlfriend is never too happy with me these days... But I have a job!!!

Problems, Problems problems.

Today, not so great. In pain.

Pensive, a little defeated (sad, bewildered, fatigued). Kind of blah from reading a journal from last year. Hopeful that tomorrow will be better.

I felt awesome this morning- it was raining. My cat came and said good morning when I woke up he jumped up right on the bed and followed me around after I got up. I have cleaned up a little more in the apt. which is always good.. but i just went out side, and I was omy.. it is hot.. and then I realized, good lord-- I am not used with being out in the day, which has lowered my mood a little... I need to get a new schedule, which means a new job.. but I will try not to complicate myself today

Now--- Now I feel strung out-- i am jumpy today

I am anxious today. I can feel it in my bones. Is there a smiley that is the visual representative of a "wibble"?

It is still today but i can't sleep. I feel anxious, depressed and miserable. A part of me wishes I could just quit my job and make a long-term reservation at mental health facility / spa. I am tired of being my age and stuck in a lifestyle of someone half my age. And have it thrown in my face on a daily basis. I feel like a failure.

((((Rose Panachee))))

Came home to a sign on the apartment main doors saying we have to remove all items from our balcony for painting so I have boxes and chairs in my livingroom and no clue as to when the painting will be done. Feeling a little claustrophobic

Today was a pretty decent day. Had a great first day of work. I really think it will help my confidence level. I also had a heart to heart with my girlfriend, and I think I've found four words that will really help me succeed; Priority, purpose, communication, and confidence. I think things are going to start looking up for my life. I'm feeling really good about today, and I think its been a sign of better days to come.

I didn't get my veggies in today so I'm drinking them tonight in a raw green smoothie. I feel like I'll never get it down. (kale swiss chard cucumber parsley celery kiwi strawberries apple peach mango) Much better to have fixed some niced steamed veggies!

Pretty much good.

Well after that---- Gonna try to be calm, gonna try to let it roll off- NOT to come back to it-- if I am a success with this today, it is just one more step to that goal... to be a floating leaf with stuff that really does not matter... *Good Wishes On This*

Scratch that- the longer I am here trying to be positive the more i feel used and abused more and more-- and this was from a fellow co-worker from my team.. I so sick and tired of this--

Why am I the easy target?? I do my work, I do what I am told, and Still I am the target and once I say something about it, I am the one out of line.

Using and Abusing a person so long either results in them giving up or blowing up if they can not walk away--- I am trying hard to walk away but it is proving difficult.
I will be ok-- i will be gone from this place soon.



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I'll try to have a chipper attitude -- I realize i am sleepy and anxiety is just rising-- Maybe I will go yell at someone that should be up right now good reason right lol

Sleepy....Need Sleep!!!!

Nerves setting in waiting to talk to the new manager, for the schedule, and start date. A bit upset that cannot make plans, but going to try to stay calm and relaxed as a day off meanwhile.

Feeling calm. Slept well, got housework done early (most of it), baked some brownies, am about to brew some coffee, and it isn't even ten am yet.

Grateful.

To myself for having slowed down somewhere in the middle of my hectic day and practiced a little self-healing white-light meditation (very amateur, but it calmed me, and I noticed mostly people were somehow much nicer to me after... coincidence, maybe, but I'm grateful anyway! Was having a bad day before that).

To my boyfriend for sharing, working out things, and being authentic.

To PC for being here in the small hours of the morning to share happy things with too!