What Helps When You Feel Yourself Slipping?

Since many of my moments relate to value at work, talks to my Dad help me a lot. His expertise in workplace situations help me through many issues since I am very much like him. He teaches me of his mistakes and lessons learned then by how to behave now.

Laughter is very good for you, it's true. And I have found that, even when I have been in the worst mood ever, not wanting to do anything but curl up in a ball and be miserable on my own, comedy has been the best remedy.

You can't help but laugh when you find something hilarious. Even when, in normal situations you'd laugh your head off, but when you're feeling down, can only muster a 'heh' that's all it takes, then you're set off with a smile and it just goes from there.

I helped a lady with her bag the other day, because she had no room for it on the train. I had an empty seat next to me, so I leaned over and asked if she'd like me to put her bag in the footwell for her. I asked with a smile, and her whole face went from stressed, to lit up brightly, and she was very thankful and we moved her bag across.

Simple things make such a big difference. If I see someone struggling, I offer to help, just as I'd hope someone else would do for me. Even if I don't know them! It makes you feel even better if you don't know them.

Probably a slightly strange one to add to the list, but I find that actually, coffee helps to ground me when I'm feeling a bit all over the place, up in the air, messed up. The heat, the smell, the taste and texture... I drink de-caf, but it still has the same effect. I just love it.

Does anyone else get the same?

i can at times-- some times just sitting with a fresh cup of coffee and smelling it and enjoying the taste can help settle me down a little-- has been known to happen.. I don't drink decaff and I will mention this though, it seems like coffee sometimes can help with my head aches as well-- I am not sure if that is due to I am so addicted to caffeine or what, but it can help a ton better than a lot of things- just to sit down and have a cup of coffee

That's one of the many reasons that I enjoy so much, going out for a coffee with a friend. It also give a subject of conversation, how good the coffee is (or isn't!) which can set off a good flow of other conversation and break some ground between the both of us/you.

I have at least one coffee a day, even if it is de-caff, just because the smell grounds me nicely for the day

Writing and listening to music helps me alot actually

maybe this is part of slipping or maybe it is part of keeping my head up.....

but I tend to find symbolism in things and apply them to my life at the time...
i.e. a few months ago I found a brand new (brand new!! with tags in the little wrapping) trouser socks I was so happy it was a crappy time and I was like "yeah! new old socks! at least a little thing!". I put them on, and I ended getting a new tear in them with in 10 minutes of wearing them around the house due to the little carpet thingy (ya know the little piece of carpet that sticks up) I got so upset at first, with like "well- f.. what is the sense of finding new old socks, i never get to keep anything any ways"... then I sat there and I realized that I was getting so damn upset about this, and said- "ya know 'stuff' happens some times!".. it was odd due to it really helped me put things back in perception of -- some times crap happens, and ya know what we move on in away, we learn and some times we realize that it is not as bad as it was when it happened.. I ended wearing the socks to work that day and still have them even though they have the "run in them" I just don't pull them up so high as I would if they did not. and the area where I snagged the socks, I make sure to take an extra long step this day when wearing trouser socks or hosiery around the area

but I did this again the other day with something i attempted to crochet.... Just making not a hat but a doily and trying soo hard--- it reminded me -- Things may not come out as I hoped for, even if I put so much effort and trying into it, but they still come out to be some thing, and can be used for some thing, and don't tear it apart just because it is not the thing you were expecting-- keep what has been made, keep trying and hopefully some day you will get what you want to make and expect

sorry if no one gets what I am saying here- but sometimes when I feel like I am slipping or loosing it-- i guess these things help me with realizing some things with in myself.... helps me keep going..


And I will add.... Painting, doing projects (depends some times but doing projects helps), being sure to take time out for me weather at home or at work, and to stop and smell a flower ever once in awhile and to remember to find some humor in some things-- also helps me keep going

Definately Star Trek lol ^^

Music, my kids, church. Reminding myself how much rides on my functioning well.

what helps me:

loud heavy music (linken park, disturbed, all time low, etc)

talking to people (either on these forums or on facebook)

writing in my journal/ writing my poetry

watching something i really enjoy on TV (emmerdale for instance)

Hey everyone!

I'm so sorry for being away for so long, I've been busy with rehearsals for auditions, and lots of other things...

How is everyone?

My mom and Dad, my sons, music (calypso), NCIS and Stargate:SG1, Stand-up Comedians, food, and sunshine, if mother nature is agreeing.

What helps me?
Sleeping
Going to church and praying
Going for a walk
Listening to music
Riding my bicycle
Eating something healthy.

I totally reasearch things too! the most random things! I love learning about anything and everything!

Nick - Stargate is awesome! I've seen every single episode... NCIS is even better!

These are all great ideas, and to follow on from unhappyguy; Healthy eating has been one of the most helpful things with my recovery and with life in general. I've tried living on mostly junk food for a period of time, and the changes in my body was horrible! So, eating healthily really does help your state of mind, as well as physical health, as well as exercising - cycling is my favourite because it's an outdoor thing

Nuttin'. I slip...then I have to friggin' wait until the rough patch passes. Nothing prevents stalls or stops the slipping. I'm effed for an indeterminate period with no solace or desire for solace. Then overnight almost can snap out as easy as I slid in. My mind rejects all things pleasureable during these times. I just have to wait. At least I understand the cycle now. I know the shite is temporary and that's good to realize.

A shopping spree. For a short time. Then I just slip.

Hitting the speed bag...or a wall.

PsychCentral....work to distract me, unless it is work causing me to slip. Venting overly dramatically to release tension and see some humour at the same time. It helps bring giggles back.

I like to sing.I can't hear my voice, so I don't know if I'm any good. Sometimes I just walk around all day singing songs I like.All I can says is singing is very effective at relieving my anxiety. As long as they are not sad songs. Usually it is the same song over and over. It drives my mom crazy.

This is the song for the day. Kurt Nilsen.......Never Easy



Could be considered a sad song . I still love it

Quizzickle - I'm sorry to hear that nothing can help to pull you out when you slip, but it's good that you recognise how the cycle works for you - I hope that one day you can find something that does help to pull you out of it

Piraeus - I'm much the same, I sing the same songs over and over again. My current favourite is this one - I just love the riff and the lyrics are so inspiring!

Not necessarily in this order: but a combination of things, generally:

-Sometimes, sleep (If it's a baddie commin' on)
-The right music (carefully selected)
-Cooking (something lovely)---helps a lot
-Fresh air
-The right company at the right time (gentle friends from down the street--old friends of my husband) & a beer (not too much)
-Going for a drive in the car (gets me out of my head) (But not after a beer!)
-Anything creative (gently---I can now handle a little, from time to time)
-Comedy ( I've grown surprisingly attracted to the most generic comedies---no one's more surprised than me!)
-Hooking-up here, and finding similar-minded people, with the same concerns

I'd firstly just like to say to everyone that I am SO sorry that I haven't been around lately. I have had such a manic diary, that I've had hardly any time to even sleep, let alone get online and post. So I really am sorry.

Secondly, I'd just like to tell you all about something that happened a couple of days ago.

I was having a conversation with 2 very special people in my life, just 2 days ago. I expressed thoughts, feelings and opinions, and from one of them, R, got a very positive response. From the other, A, I got quite a negative response. I have always given as positive a response as possible to anything that A says, because I know that he worries about peoples' reactions, as do I. Yet every time I have expressed a feeling or want/need, he seems to give a negative reaction, despite me convincing myself that it's safe to talk to him about these things. I KNOW that he's safe to talk to, but his reactions just make it very difficult. Of course, I can't change the way that he feels about what I say/think/do/feel...

So, I went home that evening quite upset, after accepting what A had said, and being as understanding as I could about it. What we had talked about was something that I had in fact needed R to do for me, but because R wouldn't do it for A, because A wouldn't let him, A disagreed with R doing it for me, which seemed a bit like a dog in the manger situation. Do you agree?

I sent a text to D, who I live with, because I was desperate. I didn't know what the hell I was going to do or say, because all I could think about was cutting. It was the only thing that was on my mind. I was so distracted by it, that I missed my train and forgot a few things to take home with me. So, the text I sent to D was asking if I could talk to her when I got back. She replied yes of course I could, what was wrong? So I said that I was really desperate to talk to someone who understands what I'm thinking/feeling, and who can help me to muddle through it. She was more than happy to help.

Got home, sat down with a mug of hot coffee, tucked my legs underneath me and started talking about things. D sat and listened, giving snippets of her opinion and advice along the way. She agreed with how I felt and said that maybe A needs to be a bit more open to other peoples' opinions/thoughts/feelings, instead of seeming to think that he knows better all the time, because that just knocks people backwards and triggers them. I told D that I was so horribly, horribly triggered, and that I really didn't know if I would hold out, because all that I wanted to do at that moment was hurt myself in some way, and I knew that it wouldn't end nicely. D stayed with me, talking, until I was all talked out. I cooked dinner, had a glass of wine with her, watched a film and generally kept myself busy until I fell asleep at around 4am.

The next day, I woke up feeling better. But by the evening, I felt that awful urge to cut again, and I really needed someone to talk to, but D wasn't around. I really didn't know who I could turn to because I didn't think that any of my friends would be open minded enough to listen to what I said and to accept it, and give advice without judgement. I took the leap and posted on FaceBook, stating that I was in a situation that had got difficult and didn't know if anyone would be able to help without judgement. Two people, within 5 minutes, sent me a message saying they wouldn't judge no matter what it was, so I took the chance again, and spoke to them both about it.

They both agreed that A needs to open himself up more to others' thoughts/feelings/needs, and that maybe he thought that he was prepared to hear what I had to say, but actually wasn't prepared to hear anything, no matter how big or small. They also said that they don't necessarily understand my situation, but they understand my feelings and that they agree with, and accept where I'm coming from. They both gave advice that really helped, and they both helped me not to cut - again. So, for the second night in a row, I'd asked for help and got more help than I could have ever asked for. They've both checked up on me today to see how I am doing, and I am feeling much better, with the odd niggle of a need to cut.

The moral of that whole 'story' is, that even when you *think* that no-one will understand, or be open minded, or listen, or care, or want to know, or not think you're a freak; there is *always* at least one person who will stand above the crowd, and whilst they may not understand completely - if at all - they will try to understand even just a little, and offer you advice to the best of their knowledge.
It is always better to get an outside opinion, so that others can tell you if you're going wrong, from outside the box, but on the other hand, can tell you if they agree with your opinions on the matter.

I have had a positive experience this time, from reaching out when I needed it most. I don't often get that, but by asking if anyone would help, and trusting in those who I know have been there, or have some knowledge of it, I am safer than I was. I am no longer afraid that I will cut to the point of total destruction. I am no longer feeling *as* alone as I was, or that no-one will listen, or care, or want to know, or not be judgemental. I am no longer afraid that I don't have anyone to talk to.

So please. Please, please, please. Reach out to those around you, get a feel for their open mindedness, and trust in them when they say that they are open to anything that you have to say. Of course it will be hard, of course it will be embarrassing, but they will make it less so, trust me.

And another part of this is that one thing that helps me when I feel myself slipping, is to reach out to others. OK, I didn't do it when I *started* to feel myself slipping, but you know the reasons why. Now I have NO excuse not to

Lots of love and hugs everyone!

I thank you for relating that. Makes my day a little better oAngel. I was having some doubts about some stuff.

When I feel myself slipping, I like to start cooking. I get grandiose recipes and ingredients fit for a king. I put on my apron and turn up the music. I call my kids in the kitchen with me. We mix, we roll, we laugh, we cry. We make the best damn food your tongue ever had the pleasure to know. But most of all, we live another day to laugh and cry again. Great thread. Yours truly, Lightbulb7