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#1
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Andy Heger writes about guiding seniors (and their families) through the long-term care process. He begins:
The reality of a senior individual’s move to a long-term care facility is usually difficult to accept not only for the future resident but for his or her family as well. Planning for this move can be a long, emotional journey requiring great attention to detail. The extraordinary number of senior living options combined with a constant concern for one’s well-being makes long-term care an overwhelming prospect for all parties involved.Heger has a bunch of useful information. He concludes: Long-term care residents have the right to be treated with dignity, respect and courtesy. If you have any questions about long-term care, the rights of long-term care residents, or have a problem with your current long-term care facility, contact your state or local ombudsman representative.My Mom is in a care facility. The article may help me help Mom with some issues she is facing. |
![]() Fresia, Gus1234U, KathyM, kindachaotic, lynn P., roads, Timgt5
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#2
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di Meliora, thanks for article. I understand the heartache of these decisions.
Will be facing them fairly soon with my mom. She has gone downhill really fast. So worrisome, as I live 6hrs away. Don't know how much longer my dad can handle her care at home, he's almost 80. I hope your mom is well taken care of & you get to see her often. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous37781
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![]() roads
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#3
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It is never an easy decision to make, my wife's grandmother lived indepently until the age of 95. Recent injury and deteriorating medical conditions have now made this impossible, so the family a decision to move her into a care facility. So far things are going well and she has a very nice roomate she enjoys. It sounds like a good place in terms of staff.
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#4
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I had to make these choices for my mother. It was tough. I'm grateful for the care she got both in a nursing home and an assisted living facility. In both facilities the staff treated residents as if they were family.
On the other hand, I raised such a stink at the hospital where she was treated it resulted in procedural changes at the hospital. Thanks for posting the info de meliora. |
#5
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Thank you for posting this.
It is not easy decision in deciding to go, nor in finding/researching the right place, nor in downsizing. Having been through this with relatives that wanted to remain independent yet needed the help, it is such a difficult process. Once settled, we were fortunate in finding caring places that were on top of their care (but research played a big hand in this, continually going to visit at all hours, talking with residents, staff, and families of residents; checking health reports and inspection reports, etc.) and then it made a world of difference for peace of mind for all of us, plus in their quality of life especially and mine knowing they were safe and could thrive better. The toll, especially in the case of the relatives that had dementia, the home had become so unsafe with access to the stove, shower/tubs that could not get in and out of, or in wandering off. This was so helpful to have the help and regained their sense of purpose in independence again, shopping and going out with others with appropriate transportation. Made a world of difference. However, we were warned that the transitions were not going to be easy and support is important. We made sure we sent change of address/new home cards to friends and family so they could keep in touch with everyone following the move. Also continually following up helped to monitor how things were progressing and to not feel isolated. Additionally following up was really important to make sure they would get the care they need and deserve, because many times no one else will advocate for them but us when they cannot do it for themselves. Moving and transitioning to assisted living, long term care, or a nursing facility, is not for everyone and I respect each one's decision in that. For those that do decide to make such a change, moving at whatever point in their lives to new surroundings away from a home, I so admire the strength and courage it takes to do so.
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![]() I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it. -M.Angelou Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. -Anaïs Nin. It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view. -Dalai Lama XIV |
#6
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I am facing this problem myself. My mom can barely walk but is too vain to use a walker or be around "old people" (she is 85). She lives in her messy home (she is too embarassed to bring in a cleaner and won't let her children throw anything away) and when she is upset she cries how her house is a mess. She talks of moving to an assisted living facility but, if her house is sold, that would leave no place for my alcoholic brother (who suffers like me, I believe, from PTSD; he may also be bipolar or manic depressive) to live. So, she continues to live at home. I am visiting on Monday to take her to the doctor. It's hard to get any real news out of her as she has really never liked me. She tells me what she wants me to hear and that's it. As for my alcoholic brother, he doesn't talk to me at all which is probably for the better. Still, at some point, something is going to have to be done.
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![]() kindachaotic, lynn P., Nicks_Nose
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#7
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many of my relatives, including my mother, chose not to accept Long Term Care, but to remain at home, even when this included unsafe and unhealthful living conditions. i too have made this choice. i will die at home, if i am able to choose. i have written out my wishes in a legal document called a Durable Power of Attorney, including the Advanced Directives and the Five Wishes (who, when, where, how). no one can legally put me in a Nursing Home, nor other institution, even if it means my death.
i understand that if a person's mind is gone, or if one is afraid and needing assistance, and there is a decent option available, how beneficial it is to have the security of others trained in care-giving. sadly, that is not the case here. the nursing home here is horrible. do research carefully where you place a loved one (or even a hated one), if you are not going to be able to visit them regularly, at least once a week, or more. talk to other residents, casually, about what they do with their time, when they last had entertainment in the facility, which is their favorite nurse... little questions that tell more than any inspection reports. and most of all, i was told, use your nose... the smell of neglect cannot be hidden. i hope none of you ever need to place a family member in a Long Term Care Facility (Nursing Home), nor go there yourself~! and if you do, i hope you have access to a quality environment. but remember, there is no law forbidding one to die in the reassuring comfort of familiar surroundings, even if it seems unacceptable to others. there are often ways to modify the home to make it more livable, and ways to get housekeeping help that include family members being paid. the federal Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 forbids discrimination against the family of persons with functional impairments, also. best wishes~ Gus
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