[ptangptang]

And so its come round again. Another 2 months of jollification (sic), overspending and strained bon homie . For the lonely and depressed it just reinforces the fact that we (i include myself) are not part of society and for those families with kids , but little money, extra pressure to go into more debt to placate their kids and keep up the pretense of happy families. Now that it is no longer a community festival most people i talk to think it starts too early , goes on too long and is not particularly enjoyable. I have been told that i am a misery, a scrooge and that i should be happy to see others enjoying themselves ( without doing anything to help me enjoy MYSELF).So for those enjoying families, friends, food, frolics and f.... whatever please give a thought for those of us that haven't got that and dont enjoy it.

[-jimi-]

Makes me sick just thinking about. Besides the stress that people always want to drag me in on (I refuse best I can), I so hate the gluttony. The total let yourself go in worthless items and crap food.

Like last year after Xmas... shared a train compartment with a 6 and a 4 year old and their newest toys, an Ipad and an Ipod. Like really?... That's more a show off how filthy rich the parents are (or want to appear).

Gag puke. I hate it all.

[IceCreamKid]

I never force my Christian holidays on anyone, and I don't participate in any fake stuff with non-believers. The sooner you are able to grab the reins of your life and do what you want, the better you will feel. I know that sounds impossible, but the time is now to do what you want.

[Bridges]

I can relate as well! I also feel that Christmas can be a financially draining and lonely time. Even though I enjoy giving and receiving presents, it feels forced. It seems more like an expectation than a spontaneous act of generosity. On a larger scale, I believe that big-box corporations are trying to squeeze us out of our last nickle, and finish off the fiscal year in the green.

As for the loneliness piece, you are certainly not alone in regards to your feelings. Sometimes even with family by my side, Xmas makes me simultaneously realize my disconnection to my family throughout the years, and my shattered dreams of having an "ideal family". The disconnection is either realized through an explicit guilt trip about not seeing each other enough, or a feeling of reluctance to share anything beyond surface conversation. And the notion of an ideal family, though realized as being no more than a fantasy, still manages to disappoint.

I guess a good question would be how to approach Xmas with realistic expectations, and what that new vision would look like. hmmm ...

[eskielover]

I'm with IceCreamKid I don't force my Christian beliefs on anyone but I also don't allow myself to be forced into participating in the direction the secular world has pushed the true celebration of Christmas into either.

We have the ability to make our choices & we have the ability to not be involved in the way the world has taken this holiday or even to be part of celebrating the holiday if it not a part of your beliefs.

Eh, I hate the holidays, all of them. What Christmas amounts to for me, since I am atheist, is a gathering of individuals who hate each other (i.e. my family) for social obligations.

[-jimi-]

I don't celebrate, I don't go to Xmas parties, I don't give gifts or eat any traditional food. Nothing. But to avoid it I would have to not interact with anyone, not go out to shop for food even, I would have to fully isolate.

That is simply not doable, even if I actually contemplated doing just that.

[Timgt5]

I have become indifferent to it all, just more and more another day. I go through the motions for harmony with my family, but it could stop tommorow and I would not miss it at all.

[Leed]

I absolutely HATE the holidays. It's trying to think of what to get people, it's the shopping, it's going into debt, it's the throngs of people, and I can NEVER get into the spirit. I've never liked the holidays -- even as a child. I completely dread it and I start getting anxious in October.

[tigerlily84]

Originally Posted by jimrat

... shared a train compartment with a 6 and a 4 year old and their newest toys, an Ipad and an Ipod. Like really?... That's more a show off how filthy rich the parents are (or want to appear).

Gag puke. I hate it all.

Who gives an Ipad and an Ipod to children that young? Ridiculous. I'm sure the kids would have more fun with the boxes they came in!

[-jimi-]

That's the sad part. The kids - especially the older one - played her part well, bragging about her Ipad. They didn't even behave like kids, more like miniature adults.

[GogMagog]

I don't like Christmas either. My friends talk about big family dinners and wish lists and how great it will be to miss school--and I don't expect them to know that I don't have the same life as them but it still hurts. No school means more time at home, holidays mean more of a reason for my parents to get drunk.

[shadowpink]

Originally Posted by ptangptang

And so its come round again. Another 2 months of jollification (sic), overspending and strained bon homie . For the lonely and depressed it just reinforces the fact that we (i include myself) are not part of society and for those families with kids , but little money, extra pressure to go into more debt to placate their kids and keep up the pretense of happy families. Now that it is no longer a community festival most people i talk to think it starts too early , goes on too long and is not particularly enjoyable. I have been told that i am a misery, a scrooge and that i should be happy to see others enjoying themselves ( without doing anything to help me enjoy MYSELF).So for those enjoying families, friends, food, frolics and f.... whatever please give a thought for those of us that haven't got that and dont enjoy it.

I'm not dreading it; I just dislike it..

[yellowted]

Originally Posted by tigerlily84

Who gives an Ipad and an Ipod to children that young? Ridiculous. I'm sure the kids would have more fun with the boxes they came in!

kids today wouldn't know how to have fun with a box, as the toys today do not call for using their imagination!!!

[Madison Park]

Originally Posted by jimrat

Makes me sick just thinking about. Besides the stress that people always want to drag me in on (I refuse best I can), I so hate the gluttony. The total let yourself go in worthless items and crap food.

Like last year after Xmas... shared a train compartment with a 6 and a 4 year old and their newest toys, an Ipad and an Ipod. Like really?... That's more a show off how filthy rich the parents are (or want to appear).

Gag puke. I hate it all.

Could not have said it better myself. Sometimes I do wish I did not feel so bad about it. It must mean something to certain people to have this to stress about and/or look forward to?

[missbelle]

I am not fond of Christmas either. Many years ago my husband was very ill, and in intensive care after having brain surgery which was not a success. It was an inoperable brain tumor-cancer. They closed him back up, and he died Feb 5th. I had an 18 month old daughter then. Other things also happened, and now Christmas is not a time I want to go thru. I used to get severly depressed about Oct 1st, and it lasted till February, but now not so much. Still though Christmas is a hard time for me, and I am always delighted when its January 1st!!

[yellowted]

I do not dread Christmas, but i do hate people who moan about how much they have over spent on it. Christmas is supposed to be about being together with those you love, not expensive gifts. I hate people asking me what i am doing for Christmas, but love their reactions when i tell them honestly that i will be painting the woodwork at home! With no loved ones to spend it with and my PA/carer spending the week with her family i take advantage of having the house to myself and touch up all the chipped paintwork caused by my wheelchair. it is getting difficult to do this but it keeps me occupied! the only good things about Christmas are A, the cemetory where my partner lies always looks loved as people who don't visit the rest of the year always lay flowers on their loved ones graves for Christmas and B. I cook enough food to last the week on Christmas day so i do not have to cook till New year!

[BonnieJean]

I dread the holidays. It is such a depressing time. It is a relief when they are over. I've opted out of most things associated with the them but they are still happening all around. Ugh.

What I don't get is why the Halloween stuff is put out the end of August, then the Halloween stuff goes on clearance before Halloween. There's the Christmas stuff right next to the Halloween stuff. Ugh! What I dislike is the commercials, seems like they show the "perfect" little family under the Christmas tree, and then the kay jewelers ones. "Yawn". I wish that stuff could be more realistic than showing that they're trying to sell something. I just don't see why the rush.

I'm sorry, not everyone has that. Maybe when I was little it was interesting, but as I'm older, I wish none of it existed. I hear people say they spent alot on presents or go into debt, well you know what, nobody is telling you that you have to buy anything, if you can't afford it then don't spend it. Explain in a nice way that you won't be able to afford anything this time.

All I hear is what retail sales will be or expecting, I could care less. How or why should that affect me? It does seem to start early and go on and on. If Christmas is one day, why is it made out to be all of December it seems. Ho hum, plus I can see it will be another year of loneliness for me. Nobody to come around, or visit. I might as well start being depressed now.

[girlwithbrownhair]

I'm right on the middle: not excited, but not loathing the idea.

What I usaully end up doing is throwing up (lol), er, tossing up some garland or whatnot the day before so I don't feel so left out. But Christmas is never like it was when we were kids, back before we lost our innocence (for those who were lucky enough to have some).

If the idea of Christmas is so terrible, can you try playing some Christmas music that you find soothing? Strangely enough, the song "What Child is This", despite its sad undertones (or perhaps due to them) has helped me through many a dark Christmas. I dunno, maybe because it's a song about loss...? And loneliness is a real issue for me. Holidays are hard, I suppose, for most of us here. But the right Christmas music, at the right time, often does help bring back some happier memories. And the way I look at it is, if that's all I can have for the moment, I'll take it.

[Raindropvampire]

I hate it because I hate seeing what it does to people. I have friends that call and cry because they can't afford to get their kids the latest fad toy/electronic and they will be made fun of at school for not having it. I get to watch my mom sink into a pit of despair and anger because she spends her house payment and utility money to get presents and then it takes her the rest of the year to dig out of the hole.

A few years ago I finally put my foot down and talked to my extended family and told them we would love to have a family dinner. That time we spent together and the memories made would mean more than anything we could buy and with that being said we would not be participating in the gift exchange. My aunt was thrilled. It was 5 less people she had to buy for and she copied what I said and opted out of another gift exchange she was part of. My mother, though relieved, has still not forgiven me. From about Nov.1 - Christmas she only will call me Mandynezer. I also talked everyone into a $25 limit. Since it came out my brother has wanted a Xbox 360 so we are all going to go in on it. He knows he's only getting one present but is tickled because he's wanted it so long. His bday is the 28th and we're going to go in together to get him some games too. I don't know if this will help anyone else but I also started saving $5 a week. I just put it in a jar and refused to touch it no matter what happened. Now I don't even have to stress if someone else has to bail on their part of my brother's present.

To all those that don't have anyone have you ever considered volunteering at a soup kitchen? Or visiting a nursing home? Just a visit means the world to those that have been dumped there and forgotten. Best wishes to everyone on making it through a difficult time of year

[Maven]

I dread this time of year, too. I'm thrilled with Halloween, but Thanksgiving is when my boyfriend goes away to be with his family for about 10 days and I used to be stuck at home. This year is a bit different, because I have a car and can go see my mom. Still, I miss my boyfriend. I love my mom, but she can't be a bit hard to take sometimes.

The thing about Christmas is the money. I have a hard enough time keeping control of my spending the rest of the year, but Christmas has me buying stuff for whomever I can afford, but I feel bad because I can't afford anything really nice. I used to enjoy the music, and still do every now and then, but I'm pretty bored with all of it. Heard those songs over and over and over. Still a few I like, but I'm ok with avoiding the music.

This is a bad time for changing your eating habits, too. I eat pie, drink eggnog (non-alcoholic), eat candy, cookies, etc., and I'm trying not to do that this year. I'm physically in lousy shape, and can barely support my body.

[ima.funnygirl]

Ugh ! Me too. This used to be my favorite holiday. I would start singing christmas carols on thanksgiving day. Decorations would go up the weekend after turkey day and come down january 2nd. Over the years my parents and grandparents passed. I had health problems, some family issues and job loss. I try to stay upbeat on the outside but on the inside I am stressed and scared. We can barely make it month to month on our income. Throw in christmas or even a few extra goodies for thanksgiving and the money doesn't stretch. Sometimes when I hear others talking in anticipation of the holidays I just want to burst into tears. I would do anything to feel that way again. So for u others who share this crummy feeling-don't feel like the lone ranger. You are one of many who struggle with this, just like me.

[Umbral_Seraph]

What I really hate is how long everyone is going be at home. The weekends are bad and stressful enough! When that gets stretched out for so long my health always ends up taking a nosedive.

If I had a job and could have my own place, then it would just be another day.

[Ladyzero]

I don't particularly dread christmas, it is just a non event in my life, really. The christmas before last I was and still am now suffering with depression. I was in bed 24/7 leading up to christmas and did absolutely no shopping for it, what so ever. Not a single card, present or any food. I didn't even get out of bed on the day, am ashamed to say now and I can't even remember what me and my (grown up) son ate that day, as I had not been shopping for normal groceries, let alone christmas dinner and treats. How bad is that ? Not a present was exchanged or single card sent even to my elderly widowed father. Last year, I still didn't send cards or buy gifts and my son organised the food shop. He put the decorations up and even prepared the veg. There is only ever us two for dinner, his father passed away 8 years ago (suicide) and my daughter lives away from home and has cut me out of her life. I don't dread the day, it's just another lonely day for me and this year will be no different. I won't bother with cards and can't afford presents anyway. What a miserable thought, at least I hope to get out of bed. Sad or what ?