Daily Comments #7- Just place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

Spirit- sorry things are hard for you too right now. And i wish more than anything that i had the words to make it all go away, but unfortunately i dont. I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and i hope things improve soon.

I absolutely believe that many users here on PC would hate me if they knew who I really was, not that I have an issue with this, because I receive hate mail and insults on a daily basis, but it is interesting to consider how much of my life is a secret to those that supposedly consider me to be their friend.

Makes me think I should delete my PC account – not much good comes from my visiting here anymore.

I am so torn about whether to go forward with an offered employment opportunity. It is commission based, and is primarily recruiting. The individuals come to me, so I am not out blindly calling people. I would be able to make my own hours, so it would make it easier to re-build my life, and to take care of my post-treatment plans and volunteering, as well as parenting. It would make it easier to take care of myself when I am struggling, and I would be working from my home office.

On the other hand, it is not a constant guaranteed income, and a job of this type is really new to me. We need more income coming in (I have not worked while I have been in treatment for 8 months), but I am not confident I am ready to hold down a traditional job. It is also considered "my business" with my own websites, etc. I do have to pay a monthly overhead, but it is not huge. I have researched it, and it is legit, not a scam.

Yiiiiikes. I have about another week to decide.

I realize I have a problem with people who lie and perverts. I wish I could say exactly how I feel but I can't. God help me avoid this troll.

Moods are swinging a little but mostly to the positives. Maybe a little nap before work.

Why does it seem like every time I really need someone, there is absolutely nobody around? I've called a ridiculous amount of people and nobody's picking up. I'm freaking out.

I just read an incredible book today. I forgot how mindblowing a piece of literature can be, how much it can change my perspective and the course of my life. So grateful.

I guess I'll take this opportunity to exploit this thread as my own public journal. 'Cause I'm classy.

I feel...I don't even know anymore. I'm physically depressed, I know that much. My body is tired, sick, and achy for no medical reason. My mind and mood, however, are jumping from irritation to happiness, to sadness, to emptiness, and then it starts all over again. And it will be entirely random. At one point I'll have the burning desire to talk to someone, spend a lot of money, have sex, and then the next minute I'll be sad, wanting to hide, wanting to isolate, etc. It's been happening for the past two days and I'm not really scared or anything. I don't feel like I'm in danger. I'm just drained, you know? All I want to do is sleep but all my brain wants to do is go, go, go. I feel like I'm not even making sense anymore. I know I'm making perfect sense but sometimes I'll say or write things and I'll think to myself "what did I just say? I don't get it." So I just feel like a rambly hot mess that's about to crash into something.

Sigh.

My ex is confuzzling me! She had this whole thing figured out where she was gonna make it without me, wouldnt need my money (alimony/cs), was gonna have her international coaching business....making 75k a month!
Now today she says she quits...shutting her website down in 2 days...will refund money to folks who have already paid for her services.....WOW
The Coach has just done a 180 and decided its all a pipe dream.
She quits....gonna get her a day job.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/3012850-post963.html
can't quote it since it's be closed but...
what if the wrong parts are dying?

I. Hate. Everything.

I may...may...have finally learned to take everything that my ex says with a grain of salt. She is good for going on a tirade and quitting this and cancelling that and giving up over the other....then goes about life as if she never said any of it....and I am wondering WHY she said these things to ME and then just forgets about it....but then if I forget about it she says "well I TOLD you...."
Ugh. And I am the one with all the issues......whatever!

Darkness, there is no way out...

Just made a great chicken wrap with red onion, spinach finely chopped, thin strips of zucchini, with strips of chicken breast seasoned with black pepper, garlic powder, italian herbs and a touch of pizza sauce, wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla finely coated with lowfat sour cream. I have enough for seconds to bring to work tonight to make one on shift.

Sometimes people surprise you in a nice way Really grateful today, as someone has really been kind to me.

Why are the best tasting foods the worst ones for you??

Knock,knock,knock Penny!

Knock, knock, knock, Sheldon!

remember no feed back required.


I have always said "figments of my imagination around me", the other day I couldn't stop saying this is all a facade ....






It seems like a lot of info-- but geez; reality is an illusion ... uhoh....

one more link

"Canadian Idiot" by "Weird Al" Yankovic

You made me do it!! Enjoy!

I've always been really sensitive to other's people's negative comments towards me, but I think teaching hardened me to some degree and that PC has had an opposite effect. If it's possible to take something wrong, I will, every single time and it's getting to the point where it's just not worth it.

I'm here whenever I'm working. I'll still leave visitor's messages and talk to people. Maybe I can even steel myself to try chat, but I think I'm going to stop posting for a while, for my own self-interest.

I'm moving out of state soon for family support. I really LOVE where I currently live. I'm getting more nervous and crying as the date gets closer.

I understand...I get it. I was officially "disowned" by my family after my dad died. I just found out yesterday that my mom's sister was moved to hospice and is not expected to live very long. I'm sorry about that, but I don't want to be made to feel guilty and be drawn back in, after all that's happened. At some point, you just have to say enough is enough and stick up for yourself.