[Just Jenny]

Interesting.....

I did a quick rewind of my life and REALLY started to pay attention to certain things - the way I process things and/or react to certain circumstances and the like.

Interesting.....

From one second to the next - after all these years of trying to figure it out, I realized something. Some people know how to cook well, some not; Some people are creative, others not and the list goes on and on.

Some people are born with a brain that processes things a certain way and some not - with me, I've come to the realization that I'm simply just wired differently.

Sure, therapy and a mix of good meds keeps the depression at a distance (sometimes not) but for the most part, if we are wired a certain way - it just simply IS.

I just realized something. I've been trying to be like everyone else - and I'M NOT! I'm wired differently and I guess what makes things a little easier to handle is - I am who I am. I'm willing to work on making my moods a little more stable but it's time to admit it - I'm me and maybe what's making things a little more difficult for me is I try to be like everyone else. Hmmmm.... to much stress and work so I'll just accept who I am.

[RedBarchetta]

Good luck!
Esentually that has been my thinking for quite some time (I will spit out any medication in a heartbeat that causes any unwanted effect though, and I mean as soon as I notice even something small).
But anyway, I find that regardless of much - people pick out something that is "wrong" and won't leave you alone about it....Not so much strangers, or casual acquaintances, but close friends and family, forget it.

[spondiferous]

Thanks for this, Jenny.
I have been working very hard over the last three and a half years on my mental illness, out of desperation, hoping I'll get 'better', trying to get back to where I was. I feel insecure about having to leave the work force due to it. I've been on disability for two years and I see no end in sight. I get upset when symptoms force me to ground myself at home, cancel my schedule, and rest until I feel well enough to resurface, which is usually days. I don't see how, with the things I experience, I could ever be a functioning part of the world again.
But a few days ago I realized, I don't really like a lot of what I see in the world anyway. And my whole life I have tried to fit myself into a round hole, when I am really a square peg. I have been breaking my back at stupid jobs, struggling for good grades, trying to please indifferent and abusive people, navigating adult life with no boundaries or emotional coping skills, just trying to keep my head above water and barely making it out alive.
No wonder things are the way they are!
So I have decided that I am going to start shifting my focus a little. Rather than being so hell-bent on trying to get back to where I was, I am going to embrace where I'm at, scary days and all. I am going to find something I can do, like my art and writing, that I can pick and put down as necessary, depending on my functional capabilities on any given day. And I am going to build a life for myself that is as safe, secure and healthy as I can manage. So thanks for reminding me that it's okay to be different, because I really need to hear that kind of stuff right now. Wishing you all the best.