Introverts & Extroverts, Culture

I used to be fairly even down the middle. Loved to socialize, loved my time alone. Got charged by both, just depended on the situation. Now I definitely have to say that I am an introvert. I don't know if it's the mental and emotional health stuff, age, insecurity, a combination of these things, but that's the way it is. I'm happier doing stuff by myself, with a partner or a friend, or doing nothing at all than I am going to social functions. Today is East Side Pride where I live and I was going to go with my partner but I feel crappy and I stayed home. But I didn't even want to go. I felt guilty anyway though because we used to do all kinds of stuff together when we first got together and now we hardly do anything that involves other groups of people.

Didgee, I could've written your post myself. Before being laid off, I had been trying to force myself to be an extrovert, and not very well, since the reason I was laid off was because they didn't like my introversion in the position, and even though I had done nothing wrong, they wanted to move me out of that position...but there was nowhere to put me, because of my introversion.

Yep. I was let go for being introverted. It's in the paperwork for my unemployment - the UE office stated "personality change is not a reasonable request" or something to that effect, but I live in an at-will state, so my employer has the right to do what they did (wow). After that, something snapped and all of the extrovert fronts I had tried to build up my entire life since very young childhood came crashing down, and indeed, my mental health has deeply suffered for it. Social anxiety has manifested since then. Pretty crazy.

People who do not have an introvert mindset bore me. Most extraverts get their energy from interaction and it takes a lot to get them excited. They don't think a lot in general and they are often bored. It's fine, because society loves them and thinks what they have is social intelligence.

But you can be both quite social and still be an introvert. Both my friend and I are introverts and we can get loud, annoying, hyper and very talkative. Introversion is a mindset rather than how other people would describe us interact. All introverts are not shy.

There has been times where the introvert has been the role model and it will happen again. This is just a phase when extraverts rule the world.

redsoft, i'm with you! i am a total introvert, and i kept getting pushed to be an oextrvoert also, and treated as if there was something wrong with being an introvert. I kept trying for years to be one, but it just caused a lot of problems for me--one, because that's not me, and two, because of my personality disorder. not that there's anything wrong with being an extrovert, but being an introvert is not a bad thing either.

I'd say I'm an extroverted introvert, if there's such a thing. I will socialize and go to parties and such, but I won't be the life of the party. Usually I only talk to people I know and to whom I'm introduced. In general I don't like drawing attention to myself, so I'm on the quiet side, but I can be assertive if needs be. But I prefer being quiet and reserved and minding my own business. Some extremely extroverted people bother me because they ask too many questions and I don't like people knowing everything I'm thinking. I think America celebrates extroversion over introversion because we are the most visible country on the planet as far as politics, economics, and military prowess is concerned. And of course our crazy obsession with Hollywood (not mine though). But I'm essentially an introvert who will display extrovert traits so as to be able to get by in life. And I like being an introvert because I never want to be the center of attention, except to my most intimate and closest loved ones.

Im sure there is such a thing; everyone is different and there are a lot of "in betweens." I know a lot of people who fit that description--or pretty darn near close.

I haven't read all of the posts yet.

But I am an ENFP for the record... And I struggle with the idea of how much my mental disorders are mixed into it all. I come across as very energetic and spontaneous due to pretty severe ADHD. Which makes me seem like an extrovert. Although I have very bad anxiety too, which can make me seem like an introvert. So I am not really sure what I am, if I didn't have any other things I am dealing with. I feel as though its hard to get an accurate representation

Ha, my ADHD can make me either very outgoing and extremely energetic or quite aggressive and moody. I do sometimes behave like an introvert because I have a level of social anxiety and I can be very worn out by social interaction especially if I'm overwhelmed, upset, in any other sort of negative mood, or talking to people I don't know well. I get worried they won't like me and it makes me feel like I'm performing.

I define myself as an extrovert because I'm never happy unless I'm with people. When I'm alone, I come on forums like this and talk or play games while listening to someone talk on YouTube so I feel less alone. When I am comfortable with people, I love being around them constantly. I would consider that "drawing" energy from other people and therefore being strongly extroverted even though I don't always 100% fit the mold.

Extraverts are mainly concerned with external appearance while introverts are more concerned with the underlying reality.

from wikipedia:

The trait of extraversion–introversion is a central dimension of human personality theories. The terms introversion and extraversion were first popularized by Carl Jung,[1] although both the popular understanding and psychological usage differ from his original intent. Extraversion tends to be manifested in outgoing, talkative, energetic behavior, whereas introversion is manifested in more reserved and solitary behavior

Jung defined introversion as an "attitude-type characterised by orientation in life through subjective psychic contents" (focus on one's inner psychic activity); and extraversion as "an attitude type characterised by concentration of interest on the external object", (the outside world).

It's amazing how social supposed "introverts" can be in an online setting. It almost seems like they aren't actually introverted. And I honestly believe this phenomenon is a huge flaw in extra/introversion theory, which was developed before the internet.

Extraverts are mainly concerned with outward appearance while introverts are more concerned with the underlying reality. Introverts worry that crowds will judge them by their appearance and the strain of "keeping up appearances" leaves them feeling drained of energy. Extroverts, on the other hand, not only aren't drained of energy but are, in fact, energized by crowds

Introverts worry that crowds will judge them by their appearance and the strain of "keeping up appearances" leaves them feeling drained of energy. Extroverts, on the other hand, not only aren't drained of energy but are, in fact, energized by crowds

I am definitely an introvert. I can deal with people, but I prefer to be by myself, and if I'm around people I need time to recharge, alone. I am definitely not the first person to raise her hand and certainly not the first person to speak up, not because I don't understand something (as one former professor thought), but because I process internally. That professor would keep asking me if I understood what he was talking about (he was my graduate advisor), and I kept telling him YES for the love of God I process things before I open my mouth, I mean I don't know how many times I had to tell him that. He was also one that didn't like to have conversation while he was working in the lab, like literally I would say something and he would tell me to concentrate on what I was doing. He was introverted, but I also think he couldn't do two things at once, like talk and work. Graduate school for me was a nightmare, mainly because I was a lab teacher and that meant I had to interact with 40 students at a time and teach a class. It exhausted me so much that I quit, I just couldn't do it anymore. It was an introvert's nightmare. Plus I hate teaching. I don't know why they ever put me in that position, I didn't want it, I wanted a research assistantship. But that means my advisor actually had to open his mouth and talk to the higher-ups, which he never did, or if he did he did it grudgingly. Grad school was such a nightmare for me that I burnt out a semester before I would have graduated. I was so incredibly unhappy, seriously, I don't remember being that unhappy since I was in high school. I got a medical withdrawal because I had threatened suicide (and I WAS serious) if they didn't get me out of those classes. I work in an environment now where I am mostly (95%) on my own, and I only have two coworkers who mainly work on their own. So much better than being surrounded by people who constantly want something out of you, whether it be teachers, students or customers (I worked in retail for a few years. I hated it.)

Oh, I had to give up on maintaining appearances long ago. It's kind of like when I regained the ability to cry after years of not being able to. I noticed that if I try to hold it in, then when it forces its way through, I'm going to be far MORE of a blubbery, incoherent mess than I would have been if I had let it out naturally. I've also observed this tendency in other people, be they man, woman, or child. Generally, if they let themselves cry when they need to, they can still have reasonable control. Their speech may be distorted a little, but it will be understandable. On the other hand, if their emotions fought their way out with a battering ram, then they're going to have red, swollen faces with their mouths twisting every which way, be gasping for breath, and have a hard time speaking clearly. This helped me conclude that the convolutions involved in holding it back make me look even more socially awkward and uncouth than I would look letting it out.

Similarly, I cannot hide my quirks and neuroses, and trying to do so makes me seem more neurotic than just being who I am does.