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View Poll Results: Do you have bad relatives ?
Yes 27 79.41%
Yes
27 79.41%
No 7 20.59%
No
7 20.59%
Voters: 34. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old Aug 06, 2013, 08:13 AM
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Sameer6 Sameer6 is offline
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I don't like most of my relatives.They suck.

When i was like 15 or 16, i started to have severe anxiety.Mostly use to be in home.When my relatives comes,i will hide in my room.Lol.Some of them blamed me for doing that.They said i am like a girl hiding in room.(Those stupids have no knowledge about anxiety). There is one man i absolutely don't like.He use to tell my mom that they should let me see the World.Whenever i hear that,i will think ya,go and f*** yourself.This man always use to blame some other people's kids when his kids itself are crap.Then my mom sometimes takes me to some of the relatives house which i don't like.I can't do anything at all to prevent it. Most of my relatives are bad.They are backstabbers.I don't talk with them and absolutely have no respect for them.

10 years gone,i overcame anxiety on my own.Now none of the relatives have the guts to stand in front of me.I am talking about the bad ones.Because they knew that now i am bigger.Even though still i seem like silent as before,they knew now i will talk back and shut their mouth.Lol.So these days when sometimes or rarely when they come to my home,i don't do anything.I will pretend as nobody came into home and i will just continue doing what i was doing before they came. I remember 2 or 3 times my mom said a dialogue to me.She said -- "It's easy to get a bad name from people ,but it's difficult to get a good name". I replied something which is the best statement in my view.I told her that -- "It's correct to get a good name from good people but there is no need to get a good name from bad people". First
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  #2  
Old Aug 06, 2013, 11:10 AM
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healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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I have bad relatives, and I have good relatives. It is what it is!
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  #3  
Old Aug 06, 2013, 11:33 AM
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spondiferous spondiferous is offline
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I used to be a lot more angry at my parents and my sister and other relatives who were abusive or didn't treat me the way I wanted them to. Now I have tools to deal with it. I just had a pretty traumatizing visit with my dad about a month ago and I realized that although I love him I cannot have him in my life in any real capacity until he works out his ****. I am tired of being his target. I know that it's not personal and that he does it to everyone. But I'm not a powerless little girl. Although it triggers me, and I'm still getting back on my feet after that visit, I can put some distance between us now. I decide on the contact. I have power in this situation too.
I feel grateful to have some really really good people in my life too. It's all about balance. Like healing said, 'it is what it is'.
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  #4  
Old Aug 06, 2013, 11:49 AM
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Maranara Maranara is offline
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I've been disowned by most of my immediate family. I guess that would be considered "bad" but I'm trying hard to be mindful and not allow it to consume me anymore.
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  #5  
Old Aug 06, 2013, 12:49 PM
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Yep. It was a relief to grow up and realise I could choose not to be around them.
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  #6  
Old Aug 06, 2013, 01:14 PM
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IchbinkeinTeufel IchbinkeinTeufel is offline
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Pretty much.
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  #7  
Old Aug 06, 2013, 01:29 PM
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ATJC ATJC is offline
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I was fortunate enough to be brought up in a family that loved and cared for me. The only times I don't particularly care to be around them is when the subject of politics or religion come up and I find how at odds I am with some of them without even having to say a word. But even with that they never once taught me to hate anyone or anything so I'm thankful for them.

And if I could loan my mom out to some of you I would
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  #8  
Old Aug 06, 2013, 05:49 PM
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Citrine Citrine is offline
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My only relatives live far away (about 230 miles) and they are very poor at keeping in touch. They dont bother with each other close by either so it isnt me personally. They were like this with my father most of his life, we always had to visit them as a family when I was small. In the last few years of his life the situation was still the same. When he passed away they hadnt seen him for a year and he of course visited them that last time. He was his sisters favourite too so it makes no sense. I sometimes think that they are neglectful with me because this is how they are and also I remind them of him, being very like him in many ways and I also remind them that they were not there for him in his illness. For a large traditional family I feel its a shame and they havent learned a thing.
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  #9  
Old Aug 07, 2013, 06:18 AM
jadzea jadzea is offline
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My father believed he and our family were mistreated by his sisters in 1975 and he did not talk to them again. Many years (15) after he died I felt a need to mend fences and contacted my cousin which led to a reunion with my two aunts and many cousins and their families. It turns out they were all very close and basically knew everything about everyone else's business. I am a very private person and did not want to be so intimate.

They also spent much of their time together and were always inviting me to join them. They forgot that I had established a life without them and did not want to change my routine so I could have coffee and meals and holidays etc. with them. Since I did not conform to their belief of what the realationship should be like, they shunned me. It turns out my father was right about them.

We moved away from them 5 years ago. My one aunt tries to keep in touch but I see no reason to. There is no relationship and they mean nothing to me. I feel guilty because I do not communicate with her but I just don't want them in in business.

Family certainly complicates things, don't they.
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  #10  
Old Aug 07, 2013, 08:32 AM
Anonymous37781
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I think my relatives are mostly good. My parents weren't the greatest at parenting but their parents weren't very good either. I have/had some very good uncles, aunts, and cousins. My brothers and sisters were/are good people.
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  #11  
Old Aug 07, 2013, 09:31 PM
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I have bad, BAD relatives. The only ones who loved me unconditionally are gone, and only the nasties remain; with the exception of one aunt, who is an angel.

My in-laws are not great prizes either, again, with the exception of a dear SIL who lives on the other side of the continent, sadly.

I actually felt a cold shudder the other day when I pictured how my life would be if my husband dies before I do. It would be a colder existence than living naked on Svalbard (a terribly Northern, isolated island, in the Greenland Sea).

Very sobering thoughts, these.
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  #12  
Old Aug 07, 2013, 10:00 PM
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Yoda Yoda is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
I have bad relatives, and I have good relatives.
same here
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  #13  
Old Aug 07, 2013, 10:10 PM
unluckyone unluckyone is offline
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I have some very disturbed relatives as do a lot of families. I just choose to avoid those who cause my anxiety to rise greatly.
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  #14  
Old Aug 07, 2013, 10:47 PM
Anonymous33150
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I said no. My father isn't a bad person. He is just a crappy father and always has been. My mother is deceased, but he dedicated his life to taking care of her when she was chronically ill for years and years and loved her more than anything. Most men would not do what he did.
I was not abused as a child, but definitely not given enough attention. I made my own food and did my own laundry way before any child should.
My mom's sister (my aunt, of course) and my uncle (by marriage) plus two cousins live in a town near me and are all "white picket fence" happy...most of the time I CANNOT handle it. They know nothing about my anxiety/depression, and I can only deal with them in very small doses. They are very good people tho; I just have a low tolerance for them in my current state.
The rest of my family I have either not seen in a really, really long time or else some of them are extremely odd. None of them are bad people. I just don't know them at all and they live far away from me.
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  #15  
Old Aug 14, 2013, 05:16 PM
kirby777 kirby777 is offline
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The few I have are TOXIC!!!!!
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  #16  
Old Aug 14, 2013, 05:28 PM
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yellowted yellowted is offline
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my imediate relatives were detrimental to my wellbeing so i chose to and have stuck to no longer having contact,
my extended relatives , well a couple are ok, but as they live in the pockets of the others, the only contact is a card at christmas ans birthday at best
  #17  
Old Aug 14, 2013, 08:11 PM
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JadeAmethyst JadeAmethyst is offline
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I don't have "bad relatives" and I do have relatives that are estranged for one reason or another. I don't consider them bad though. We have our moments though. lol
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  #18  
Old Aug 14, 2013, 10:25 PM
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Grey Matter Grey Matter is offline
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My father's side of the family is completely abusive and horrid. The two people who loved me on that side sadly passed away when I was a young teenager. The remaining are terrible. They verbally abused me, my sister, my mom. They aren't worth it. I haven't spoken to them in six months; and I have never felt more free from their useless, pointless hate.

As for my mothers side; they are incredible. They visit when ever they can. Are always so supportive of me and my family. They know what my interests are, and they encourage me. As where my grandmother on my fathers side did not know I was a writer until I read at my brothers funeral. I have been writing and published since I was 12. How pathetic is that?

At least I have a balance.
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  #19  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 12:07 AM
Anonymous33340
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Yes and they all suck my butt
here is my kitteh
Do you have bad relatives ?
  #20  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 01:59 AM
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otaku1992 otaku1992 is offline
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It sounds terrible, but I hate my mother. Really, truly do. Don't really like my step-mother either, but I don't hate her. I DO hate my step-sister and her small army of undisciplined kids.

I have a cousin on my dad's side I'm not fond of either. We played a lot at family functions when we were kids, but when she hit puberty she started talking bad about me to all her friends and the relatives she didn't share with me, then gleefully tell me about it. Rubbing in that I had no friends, no social skills, and would almost have an anxiety attack when forced to interact with people I didn't know, or didn't know well.

Other than that, they all seem pretty decent. I don't deal with anyone on my mother's side, though.
  #21  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 11:47 AM
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Webgoji Webgoji is offline
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My in-laws actively tried to break up my marriage by sending my wife's ex-boyfriends our way.

My sister is a cocaine addict ... she's working on straightening herself out, but it was really bad for a while.
  #22  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 08:10 PM
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lizardlady lizardlady is offline
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I didn't vote because I don't have any living relatives.
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  #23  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 08:20 PM
davos davos is offline
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I like and dislike my relatives at the same time. They have good intentions but they can be hurtful.
  #24  
Old Aug 15, 2013, 08:27 PM
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growlithing growlithing is offline
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The real question is do I have good relatives. My entire family is a waste of human life.
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