Why do people make light of bad situations?

The other day my Jewish friend and I were cracking Hitler jokes and her boyfriend got really upset that we would make light of such a bad situation, but people make light of situations all the time. There are Hitler jokes, black jokes, gay jokes, MI jokes, 9/11 jokes, Columbine/Aurora jokes...There's really no limit as to what people can make light of, but is it really such a bad thing? Why do people make light of bad situations? Is it just how people deal with it? I make jokes like that all the time, but it's not like I'm ignorant to how bad those things are, I can't really explain it, I think it's okay around the right people.

Defensiveness? Discomfort?

My guess is that yeah, it's just how we deal with it.

Dr. Skipper, I believe people tell that kind of joke for a couple of reasons. One is to be hurtful. If a person doesn't like a group of people they can belittle them by making fun of them. Another is that it's a stress reliever. Police, firefighter, mediacl folks and the like have dark senses of humor. It's a way of reducing stress.

Personally, I have a very dark sense of humor, but I have boundaries when and where I use, also who I use it around. I have some friends that we tells jokes that would probably shock others. We all know that we are blowing off steam when we do it. My co-workers absolutely do not "get" my dark humor so I am careful not to use it around them.

I love to make light of bad situations. It is a beneficial coping mechanism that protects us.

Some people get offended when you make fun of things that they are sensitive to. In your example, of course your Jewish friend was upset over the Hitler joke. That's pretty insensitive on your part IMHO. You stated you weren't ignorant to how bad those things are yet you still do it. Maybe you find it funny but personally I feel you do it to either hurt others or maybe you just don't care about other peoples feelings. Not sure...

Larry, please reread Dr Skipper's post she and her Jewish friend were both making jokes. It was the friend's boyfriend who took offense.

These are good points. It's like, who is in control of a given social situation. Who decides what the social conventions will be? If people are in conflict about what can or cannot be joked about, who wins? That's kind of the opposite end of what you're asking, but I think that's what it will come to.

My parents are police officers and yes, they've explained to me that they have very dark humor because they see a lot of crime and dead people and they say that the joking is what keeps them sane.

Yes, I am careful about who I joke around with. Even with my Jewish friend, I try to keep it very light. I've also explained to her my fetish and she's okay with it and she will make light of that too. There was a scene in Eurotrip where the main character is trying to track down a girl in Germany he's in love with and he finds her parents and there's a 7 year old boy in the background who's marching around doing the Nazi salute and my Jewish friend turns to me and says "That's going to be your kid when you have kids!". So she gets it, but I still have to be careful.

But I don't deliberately make jokes to be mean and I am careful who I joke around with.

It's good that you're sensitive to who is around. But one can't always predict another person's response to certain things, so it's best to remain flexible and forgiving and compassionate if someone is offended by a joke. Everyone has different buttons.

I had a friend (notice the word, 'had') who changed over time into someone who rarely cared whether anyone around her was offended or insulted by just about anything she said. She became very brash and grossly insensitive over a period of time---and I think it was to impress a fairly cynical and intolerant person we also used to know in college. I guess she thought it made her seem cool, to be so heartless about just about everything.

To me, she started to seem like terrible company. We couldn't discuss anything without her shooting it down, being sarcastic and caustic, trivializing even very important issues and feelings I had about them. Soon, she was no longer a friend. It was clear she had abandoned all her principles in order to impress some dude. What complete shallowness, and what a tragic end to a 14-year friendship.

I guess I'm saying, a little sensitivity can go a long way. And people should understand that making dark jokes about many topics really is a coping mechanism that is usually the only thing that separates people from being swamped by uncomfortable emotions about a subject.

You learn as you go, who can handle what. And when. And, if you know you need to apologize for something, when and how to go about it, to save relationships.

I think its people's way of handling otherwise overwhelming situations. I do agree though, that you should try to be aware of other people's feelings towards a subject before cracking a joke so as to not offend, but like MuseumGhost said, sometimes its hard to predict someone's reaction.

However, people who get easily offended should try to take the high road and not take it so personally. You are within your right to explain to the other person that what they said was offensive and why they felt offended, to avoid an awkward situation over that in the future. But it should be done calmly and rationally. Sometimes people say things without thinking, no need to attack them for it, just kindly show them the error of their ways.

Thanks---If my friend had shown an ounce of sympathy or compassion at the right times, it probably would have made ALL the difference. But she did not. She just became less and less affected by what others felt.